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Understanding Fertility: The Unseen Struggles

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As we look forward to the upcoming Fertility Awareness Event scheduled to take place on Saturday, August 16, 2025, at Golden Tulip Hotel, Westlands, Nairobi, we’re reminded that some of the deepest health struggles are the ones we can’t see. The event is designed to spark open, informed conversations around fertility, provide credible support, and raise public awareness around the social, emotional, and structural dimensions of fertility challenges and reproductive health.

The event will bring together fertility specialists, lived experience voices, support organizations, adoption and surrogacy services, and everyday Kenyans seeking answers, hope, and clarity. It will also feature interactive consultation booths—offering a safe, stigma-free space for information sharing, emotional support, and connection.

But long before any of us walks into that room, it’s worth pausing to reflect.

You can only imagine what it feels like to be diagnosed with fertility challenges. The weight of the word alone. The conversations it demands in your marriage, the way it spills into your work life, how it changes friendships and family dynamics. But deeper than that, there are the quiet, everyday struggles—small moments, offhand jokes, casual comments—that make the journey harder. These are the parts less talked about. And they deserve our attention.

You might not see it, but it’s there—in the way someone hesitates when asked to fill out a form that includes “Number of children?” with no space for “None” or “Still trying.” It’s in the smile that stiffens when a colleague passes around baby photos or when a friend’s toddler says something adorable and someone says, “So…when’s your turn?” These are the everyday stings that sit on top of an already heavy emotional load.

The pain doesn’t always come from harsh words. Often, it’s the innocent ones. The family member who jokes, “You’re not getting any younger!” at a gathering. The taxi driver who offers unsolicited herbal remedies for “that problem.” Even a preacher, well-meaning and passionate, who refers to children as “God’s greatest blessing”—leaving those who are still waiting to wonder if they’ve been overlooked.

For people struggling with fertility, there are few safe spaces. Some work in schools or childcare centers, surrounded by the laughter of children they long for but haven’t had. Some avoid baby showers or christenings, not out of bitterness but self-preservation. And when they do show up, they smile for the camera, help serve cake, and later cry quietly on the ride home. The world keeps spinning around a rhythm they are no longer in sync with.

Churches, too, can be complicated spaces. Faith communities often mean well, but the way they speak about parenthood can alienate. Testimonies about “miracle babies” and “wombs being opened” can bring hope to some, but they can also carry sharp undertones for someone who’s been in that prayer line a dozen times without a breakthrough. What happens when praise becomes pressure?

That’s why kindness and awareness matter. Because we don’t always know who is hurting. Someone could be in the middle of IVF treatment. Another might have just had a miscarriage and hasn’t found the words to share. Someone else could be considering adoption, or may have quietly chosen to stop trying after years of loss. Fertility struggles are private battles that play out in public spaces—homes, offices, family WhatsApp groups—and they often go unacknowledged until someone dares to speak up.

Choosing to be sensitive is not about avoiding joy or walking on eggshells. It’s about noticing. It’s about offering space for others, even when you don’t fully understand what they’re going through. It’s saying “I see you” without needing them to explain.

So as we look to attending the event on August 16 to listen to experts and learn from those with lived experiences, let’s start by changing the way we talk and act in our everyday lives. Let’s stop making assumptions about people’s journeys. Let’s ask better questions—or choose to say nothing at all. Let’s remember that for some, hope is a delicate thing held together by faith, persistence, and quiet resilience.

In a society where family is often central to identity, it takes courage to walk a different path—or to be stuck on one that feels like it’s going nowhere. Let’s not make that walk any harder. Let’s meet people where they are, with understanding and without judgement.

Because everyone deserves dignity. Everyone deserves compassion. And everyone—whether a parent or still hoping to become one—deserves to feel like they belong.

What not to say to someone struggling to conceive

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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