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TOUGH CHOICE FOR MUMS TO WORK OR STAY AT HOME?

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Having a baby is among one of the most sacred and valiant achievements any parent could ever hope to attain and with it, the grand expectation that children will not only fill your days with purpose, but also happiness for all eternity. However, did you know that there is a dark side to becoming a parent that people never talk about? Here are just a few…

Being a New Year, becoming a new mother or even having additional kids is possibly one of your desires. Motherhood is a wonderful gift and a great source of joy and satisfaction that also comes with its share of additional responsibilities.

In many instances, most mothers would love to work from home, have part-time jobs or flexi time. This is because the intricacies of balancing careers and family can be difficult for women especially during their children’s formative years.

Many mothers don’t have the luxury to work from home, have part-time jobs or flexi time and therefore they are often faced with the predicament of choosing between their jobs and taking care of their families.

And it doesn’t help that whichever choice a woman makes, she will still be criticised for it. If you are at this juncture in your life, the following insights will come in handy in your decision-making.

Financial implications. For working mothers, getting a job may not be a luxury they can decide to forego as this is a source of income that helps them provide and care for their families. In some households, mothers may be the main or only breadwinners so it makes sense to pursue a career.

For some mothers even though they can afford to be stay-at-home mums, they choose to get a job as pursuing a career and having some financial independence is a part of their identity.

Since this is a decision that will impact your family’s finances, it is worth giving it serious thought. For instance, being a stay-at-home mom may demand that you cut on your expenditure especially if you have to survive on the salary of one spouse, irrespective of the rising cost of living although this is something some families are still able to do.

For single mums, the situation is even trickier as they may be the sole breadwinners.
In her book Lean in: Women, Work and the Will to Lead, Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook’s Chief Operating Officer, points out the risks of taking time off work by warning that,

“Women who take time out of the workforce pay a big career penalty as only 74 per cent of professional women will rejoin the workforce in any capacity and only 40 per cent will later on return to fulltime jobs. Those who do rejoin often see their earnings decrease dramatically.”

You ought to pay attention to the fact that should you want to resume work years later, you may need to upgrade your skills to match the job market requirements in order to gain decent earnings. It is worth noting that some stay-at-home mums manage to work or operate a business from home.

Time factor. Many working mothers express guilt about leaving their children most hours of the day under the care of a nanny and thereby not being present to witness every milestone their child makes, or even watching him grow.

Working mums are constantly plagued with trying to juggle work and family life in different seasons. For instance, toddlers demand more attention although this changes as kids grow up and begin school thereby demanding less of one’s attention.

Being a stay-at-home mother on the other hand can enable you to attend to your child every day and get to know them better. If your kids are of school-going age, it also means you will be able to attend plenty – if not all – of their school events such as sports days, academic days and clinic appointments.

Should you decide to pursue a career, consider having the right support system at home as this will give you some peace when at work and allow you to give your work the attention it deserves while remaining somewhat assured that all is well at home.

Whichever path you choose, understand that none is a better choice than the other. At the end of the day, it is whatever works best for you that counts.

Published January 2017

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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