A woman who is self-confident, ambitious and knows what they want, how they want it and is not afraid to voice it is the perfect definition of an alpha woman. When it comes to sex, men admit to not only being turned on by an alpha woman out there, but also in the bedroom.

Women often neglect their pleasure during sex and become pre occupied with giving their partners a mind blowing experience with most even going to the extent of faking orgasms. Well, sex should and can be enjoyed by both participants and that means exploring your adventurous naughty side and investing in the fun.

Being an alpha woman in the bedroom, however, does not mean that you have to be rough. It means using your femininity, staying sensual and delicate while showing him how to please you. So how do you let out that sex goddess? Here are some tips.

1.Surprise him

Shifting things in the bedroom goes a long way for a woman and will be greatly appreciated by the man. Move from the normal routine sex and surprise him with something new that you know he might like. From teasing, lap dance, early morning sex to a blow job, men love it when their woman is spontaneous. You can also move from sex just in the bedroom to other places like the shower or the couch. Give him a massage to get him in the mood. Kiss him while whispering how much you want him. A massage, a back rub or a special romp will definitely fire his sexual energy. Doing something out of the ordinary will also fuel your desire and prepare you mentally and physically.

2.Initiate sex

Unfortunately, women are sometimes afraid to make a sexual advance out of the fear of being seen as slutty. What is wrong with him knowing that you want him? In fact, it will work in your favour in that it will boost his ego and therefore make him more willing to please you and ensure he gets you to climax. Flirting, sending him naughty texts, emails or a photo of you wearing a sexy lingerie will make him want you more as you will be occupying his mind all day long. You can also surprise him with a spontaneous quickie every so often. You don’t have to wait for him to jump on top of you – climb on his laps and initiate intercourse.

Planning a romantic night or watching adult movies together signals that you desire him, which will make him feel cherished, manly and loved. Point of caution though; go easy on the videos and photos as you do not want someone to blackmail you with them in the future.

3.Dress up

Women sometimes get so comfortable in their relationship, wearing literally the unflattering pajamas to bed. While it cannot be possible to dress up sexy every single night, you can surprise him every so often by putting on that provocative lingerie, a G-string and throw in a pair of the sexiest heels. Make costumes one of your bedroom antics and it will not only lead to an incredible foreplay but a passionate intimacy. Role playing could also come in handy in your seduction game. Dressing up like the sexy police woman, a nurse or the hot secretary will provoke his wildest fantasy and fuel his desire.

By role playing, you can also overcome all the sexual inhibitions and act out your wildest fantasies. It is also essential that you feel sexy in whatever you decide to wear for him.

4.Take charge

It’s only you who knows your body, how to please it and the g-spots that when touched, will blow your mind off. Don’t just lie there and assume you partner should automatically know what makes you crazy in bed; take charge and help yourself get to orgasm. Instead of letting him be in control every time, take the steering wheel and show him that you can please him while still giving your own pleasure a priority. Take part in the play and enjoy it. Being on top also gives you control over the angle, depth and speed which gives you the ability to ensure you feel great.

You don’t have to emasculate your man, you just need to do your part in ensuring the utmost pleasure for yourself, for example, thrusting back and forth in synchrony with him or even manually stimulating yourself.

5.Tell him what you want

Instead of faking orgasms every time, why not just tell him what you want and how to get you there. While you may think it will bruise his ego, it will make him see you as sexually confident and will up his respect for you. He may be employing tricks up his sleeve that might have worked for his previous partners and definitely not with you. People are different and what works for one person may not work for another. Guide him to your erogenous zone and let him know if he is doing it right. Give him feedback by either twitching, moaning, screaming or grabbing the sheets to keep him going.

Stay positive and rather than telling him what he is doing wrong, tell him you like it and show him how he can do it even better. Men will want to jump right into the action but would not object to your suggestion of an extended foreplay.

6.Be confident

There is nothing more seductive to a man than a woman who knows and is confident in her body. It does not matter your body size or shape; if you see yourself as sexy and show him that you are confident in twisting, shaking and using your femininity to seduce him, he is going to see nothing short of that. Body confidence will come in when also pulling that bat-girl outfit or rocking that corset paired with stockings or doing a strip tease. Some women prefer not to be on top because they think their bodies are not perfect and may even insist on sex only in the dark. We tell you to wear your skin with pride and flaunt those curves unapologetically. Use your body to get you the pleasure you deserve.

7.Be ready to experiment

Don’t be that woman who recoils in embarrassment and is quick to dismiss any suggestion of trying anything unusual. Acknowledge the fact that everyone has sexual fantasies and be open to trying the kinky, weird suggested moves or positions. You can also bust your own moves without second guessing whether they will come out like in the movie you saw and if it does not, laugh it off.

If you are not into pain for pleasure, which your partner is suggesting, don’t go in out of fear of losing them. Be open with your partner and tell him if you think the move he is suggesting will hurt you. Sex should be seen as a new adventure and an opportunity to discover new positions, sensation and way to touch and pleasure each other.

However, some new adventures like use of sex toys may require a prior discussion with your partner rather than ambushing them and making it awkward if they are on the prudish side of the sexual spectrum.

8.Pay attention to him

In as much as you have learnt taking control for regular, hearty orgasm, don’t be selfish. It would be better if both of you are enjoying the experience. Men love sex and they always want to be the guy who blows your mind off. A woman who is willing to pleasure her man is a catch. Look into his eyes and let him know you are into him. If he sees your genuine effort, he will definitely want to reciprocate.

Just like women, men too are sometimes nervous during sex especially if the relationship is new, he may be worried that he will not please you or that the size of his member falls short of your expectations. When you show him the interest and love, he will relax and concentrate on giving you a good time.