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SKILLFUL WAYS TO GAIN POWER IN A RELATIONSHIP

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At the onset of many relationships, people tend to be too excited and thereby act too available and needy by constantly wanting to spend all their time with their newly found love. While they may think this is healthy for their relationship, it can work against them as they tend to give out all power of control. Don’t want this happen to you? Here are suggestions to get you started.

Have a life: Just because you are in a relationship does not mean that you drop everything else in your life and give your all to the relationship. Ensure you retain your independence by continuing to give attention to those things that interest you. For instance, if you enjoy going to musical concerts with friends, find time to keep this going. This will give you some independence so that you stop being at the beck and call of your partner. Having a life of your own makes you come across as strong and independent but it doesn’t mean you don’t need your partner. Instead, it shows that you are capable of doing things on your own, which gives you power. Your partner will admire you for this independence and you will feel more in 2control of the relationship.

Don’t be afraid to speak up: A lot of times people are afraid of demanding for what they want in a relationship, as they are afraid to rock the boat. One of the ways to regain your power in a relationship is to speak up and clearly demand for what you want and how you want to be treated. Be polite but firm about what is acceptable or not acceptable; otherwise don’t assume your partner will automatically know everything on how to handle you. If you are in a relationship where your partner knows he or she can get away with anything, then you have lost your power and respect. Learn to stand up for yourself and if your partner is unwilling to meet you at least halfway, don’t be afraid to walk away.

Take your time: There is no easier way to lose your power than to rush through a relationship. It is important to take things slow and figure out what you want from a relationship before committing to it as this could save you a lot of heartache. Don’t be caught up in the psychology that your biological clock is ticking; it is better to be late as per society’s expectations and get it right than to rush only for you to regret for the rest of your life. Even as you get into a relationship, ensure your level of interest is not greater than that of your partner. By acting a little less interested and being emotionally in control, you will have more power over your relationship. Avoid taking things too seriously too early on in your relationship until your new lover has 4shown commitment.

Don’t always be available: Don’t be the one who is always reaching out. In addition, make yourself unavailable at times by ignoring some of his calls or responding to his texts hours later. Remember; absence makes the heart grow fonder. Being unavailable for him shows you are not just seated there waiting on him to call you. This is a good indication that you have things going on and that your world doesn’t revolve around him. Being always available can cause him to easily take you for granted as he knows you will always be there waiting on him no matter what.

Don’t lose your values just to have him: One of the things you should never allow yourself to do is to lose your values and desires so as to win him over. Always remind yourself that your value does not decrease or increase based on someone’s perspective of you. For instance, if you want to wait until marriage to get intimate with him and he is not willing to wait or if you want to make things exclusive with a man but he is not ready to reciprocate the same, then it’s time to consider moving on. Don’t compromise your values and desires out of fear of losing your partner. While at it, do not allow your lover to hold all the cards, as this will definitely leave you powerless. Once a person knows that no matter what they say or do you will still be chasing them, then you have lost control of the relationship and you will always be at their mercy.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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