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Single? You can still enjoy the holidays

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Holidays can be a sore reminder of your current single status. Nonetheless, they need not be a drag. You can still have fun, and lots of it. Read on to find out how.

Maybe you had a break-up during the year, or you hoped to meet someone special sometime this year but it didn’t happen. Whatever your situation, being single over the holidays can be a little bit lonely, especially for those living far away from their families. Sometimes it may be no better for those with families that are constantly asking you when you will bring someone home, or when you plan to settle down, thus reminding you of your ticking biological clock and how close you are to turning 40.  Commercials also don’t make things any better at this time of year, as they are at their loudest, telling you what to get for him or her.

Being alone, however, doesn’t mean being lonely. Don’t wallow in self-pity. Learn how to maximize on time spent with one of the most important people to you – yourself. If you’re feeling a little bit under the weather this holiday, there are a number things you could do.

Adjust your attitude. Embrace your individuality. Life doesn’t only happen when you’re a pair. A relationship, though a great thing, is not what will give meaning to your life. Neither will you die if you happen to spend Christmas without your arms around someone else’s. Use your time alone, even over the holidays to develop yourself, and work on becoming emotionally mature. Learn to love and appreciate yourself, warts and all. It’s not the easiest thing to do, especially if you are still reeling from a break-up but it is possible and worth the effort.

Take time to give to others. Instead of moping around and thinking about how alone you are, why not give to those without much reason to celebrate? You could donate to charities or even do some shopping for individuals in need that you may be aware of. You could also give your time by volunteering at a children’s home or any other place that may need assistance. Apart from taking the focus off yourself and your issues, this will enable you to gain a healthy perspective on life and give you a great sense of fulfilment, knowing that you have touched someone else’s life.

Celebrate the people in your life. Your family and friends are people to be thankful for. These are important relationships that you should never disregard, whether or not you’re single. You may not always be in good terms but cherish them, always. Enjoy all of your relationships fully. Spend time with your family and friends. Talk about the good times you’ve shared, cook, share meals, play games and travel together, among other activities that you enjoy.

Plan an activity with friends. Get a group of friends together and organise a road trip to a place you’ll all enjoy.  Events are in plenty at this time of year. Attend several that you may find enjoyable with your friends. You could also organise a party, potluck, sleepovers, or other activity with your friends.

Be good to yourself. Being single gives you a lot of time and resources to invest in your own wellbeing and indulge in personal pleasures. You can spend all of your time as you see fit, so while you’re giving to others, give to yourself as well. Use your holiday time to unwind and relax. Buy yourself something nice. Take part in positive activities that bring you joy and happiness. Engage in your hobby if possible, go to a spa, and watch your favourite movies and TV shows, among other activities you love.

Reflect and plan. Don’t spend your time blaming yourself or other people for your current state. Forgive yourself for whatever wrong choices you may have made and work on moving forward. Plan, set goals, and reorganise different areas of your life.

December2012

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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