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Relationship Thrives SECOND TIME AROUND

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When Rose Mwende met Martin Muthuri, he was firmly tucked into the arms of bachelorhood. Clutching him from the comforts of those arms proved to be quite a task and when push came to shove, the couple split up despite having a daughter together. They share with ESTHER AKELLO how they found their true north once more, leading to a reunion that culminated in marriage.

In 2010, Martin Muthuri was single and enjoying the perks of bachelorhood. He never had any reason to question his single status until a lady friend brought it up in a conversation one day.

He says…

“My lack of commitment was brought about by the collapse of past relationships that had failed to withstand upheavals and ravages of time,” Martin confesses. To egg him back into the dating world, his friend offered to host a singles soirée in his honour. Not totally averse to the idea, Martin agreed albeit with no expectations. However, it was not going to be that simple. “During the luncheon, I realised all the ladies had such attractive attributes, the problem now became how to choose one over the other!”

However, his yoke would soon be made light when one of the ladies, Rose Mwende pulled a stunt other ladies had refused. “Our host’s baby needed a diaper change and after a lot of cringing amongst some of the ladies, Rose offered to do it. That decision immediately made her to stand out and I knew she was the one,” offers the 39-year-old businessman.

She says…

For 29-year-old Rose, a single’s luncheon with the intention of a possible love connection was the last way she wanted to spend her afternoon. However, she wanted to be supportive of her friend’s efforts, so she agreed to drag along. The last thing she expected was to make an impression on the eligible bachelor of the evening. “Martin was not my typical kind of guy. His ethnicity (Meru), and his complexion (light) were not the most enticing. I agreed to it when he asked we exchange contacts but my intention was to never return a call,” she confesses.

Her resolve, however, would prove useless as that same evening Martin invited her for a date the next day. Despite having decided not to show up, fending off Martin’s incessant calls proved to be such a chore that she finally decided to meet him. To her surprise, she found him charming and funny and soon enough, the two became an item.

Troubled waters…

In 2011, a year into their relationship, it was still obvious that Martin was reluctant to let go of his bachelor lifestyle despite Rose being pregnant with his child. “My life revolved around my business travels and partying with friends. Between these two, there was hardly any time left for the relationship. Additionally, I was a poor communicator and often times told her change of plans last minute, if at all,” says Martin thoughtfully adding that Rose not being a party animal herself could only stand the absenteeism and rogue behaviour for so long. Eventually, they split up.

It would be two years before the couple broached the idea of getting back together and according to Rose, it was not by a stroke of luck, as she explains: “I stopped the blame game and decided to woo him back. I started going to church and inviting him along which meant less time partying over the weekends. With time, he agreed to commit himself to some of the groups such as the men’s fellowship. Soon enough, he started spending more time with our family and by March 2015, we were talking about fulfilling our traditional wedding rites.”

Martin adds, “In retrospect, our relationship crumbled because I was on the fence. I wanted a bachelor’s lifestyle and a marital package as well. With that kind of attitude, you can never invest in a relationship.”

On December 5, 2015, at St Joseph Mukasa Catholic Church in Kahawa West and in front of 400 guests, the couple finally said ‘I do’. According to Martin, the wedding was an epiphany, “I keep asking myself why I took so long to settle down. There is nothing to fear in marriage. The problem is you can only feel it once you take the plunge.”

Rose concludes with some advice of her own, “Ladies, pray for your partners and accommodate them. Don’t give up on them.”

akello@parents.co.ke

Published in February 2015

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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