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Opinion: We all need alternative lives out of the city

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For the first time in our lives, we are seeing men and women retiring and electing to live in the city instead of the village.

In the days gone, when people reached retirement age, they retired to the village to go breath clean air, eat organic food, and play with grandchildren. But city life can be addictive and people have gradually lost interest in rural life, which should not be the case.

Lately, I am not a big fan of city life and my desire is to establish myself a home far from any city. Why? Because cities are not good for our health and souls.

We live in tiny houses and most of us have no outdoors with trees to enjoy some clean air. We eat bad food and breath polluted air. The traffic jams drive us nuts every day and if you use public transport, it is a crazy life. You have to leave home early and get home late. No time for children. No time to unwind. No time to be with yourself, for self-introspection. Or even to be in a mood for love making.

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But the worst thing about cities are the people. Everyone is angry. It is not possible to relax when bills are harassing you, people are dishonest or transactional, and merely surviving. Cities damage people in so many ways, it is not possible to have functional relationships with your relatives, friends, and even your neighbour. Being woken up at 4:30am to move your car from the parking lot to allow someone who parked deep inside knowing very well they will leave early can ruin your day.

You would think with all this madness people will invest in good houses and compounds in the village so as to take regular breaks from the madness.

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Kenya is a relatively small country and most of us can afford a regular trip to the countryside. Such trips should encompass total relaxation and submission to nature. A good compound with trees, well-kept lawn and some livestock and poultry to keep one busy.

In the city, money is the catalyst of every conversation and the reason for every angst and fear. In the village you can relax and if retired to such life, there is no threat of rent and runaway bills. The food is readily available or at least very affordable.

But most city dwellers prefer paying expensively for this in hotels and recreational resorts when it is possible to have such affordably and at virtually no cost in the village.

Another good thing with the village is that there is no rush since people are not motivated by money like in Nairobi and other cities. It is possible to visit the village shopping centre, drink tea and have a good conversation with the folk, maybe not as intellectually stimulating as in the city but who said conversations have to be intellectually stimulating?

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I also like the village because, save for a debilitating disease or some pressure about school fees, people often go about their lives unencumbered by stuff like cheap competition, the need to impress, and the crass materialism of the city.

This is not to say that life in the village is perfect and there aren’t challenges. Far from it. There is a high dependence ratio in the village, the worse, if you come from the city, since everyone thinks everyone in Nairobi and other big cities has money. But it gives us an opportunity to help others and the help does not have to be necessarily financial. Sometimes all people need is a little push, a little motivation and just leading life by a good example.

Cities, for all their misgivings, do afford us decent exposure that we can use to help the villagers. We can transfer the knowledge and the different ingenious ways we use to survive in the cities to the rural folk, who may want to try life in the city.

Our health is dependent on many factors, and the environment is key. Whereas we can’t settle in the village for good, it doesn’t hurt to have a haven, where we routinely – monthly, or once every two months – escape to relax and connect with our kin. We should not visit the village only for funerals.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
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