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Older and trying for a baby?

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You have left it a bit late to have children and are now worried if your eggs are still fertile. There is no need to panic when your biological clock starts to tick, as you can still preserve your fertility if you delay having children. Here is how you do it.

Many women are today delaying having children as they pursue other areas of interest such as career, education and independence. Others are simply not able to get into stable relationships that can produce children. There are still others who want to wait until marriage to have children, but forties come and find them still single. Unlike in the past when most women started having children in their twenties and were done by the time they were 35, today a lot of women are starting families while in their late thirties. If, for whatever reason, you are not able to have children when you are young – meaning in your twenties when your eggs are at their prime and fertility at it’s peak- you are advised to use various fertility-preserving techniques to slow down the deterioration of your eggs. Below are some recommendations.

Have safe sex.

It is important to be sexually healthy if you want your eggs to remain healthy and fertile for a long time. Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as Chlamydia and gonorrhoea are a major cause of infertility, as they can trigger scarring in the reproductive tubes. Some STIs, for example Chlamydia, have no symptoms, so regular gynaecological check-ups are important if these diseases are to be caught in good time for effective treatment. But most important is for you to practice safe sex, especially if you have more than one partner. Ensure he uses a condom or you use one. If you are trying for a baby with a new partner, ensure you both get checked for STIs as well as HIV. Never have unprotected sex with a partner whose sexual health history you don’t know. Its like jumping off a cliff. Discuss with your partner when planning for a baby so that both of you can take measures to ensure your reproductive and physical health are at their optimum.

Eat healthy.

A healthy diet is crucial for maximum fertility, so eat a balanced diet with all nutrients. Include lots of fruits and vegetables and ensure the cooking methods you use do not kill nutrients. You should, in particular, include foods that will boost your fertility such as those rich in folic acid (from greens such as kale and spinach); iron (found in red meat); calcium (from dairy products); zinc (from vegetables such a asparagus); fibre (from brown rice and whole grains); and unsaturated fats such as olive oil. You could also add food supplements to your diet if you suspect you may not be getting enough from food. Research also shows that eating low, rather than high-fat dairy may impair ovulation. Women who eat two or more servings of low-fat dairy (milk or yoghurt) each day are 85 per cent more likely to fail to ovulate. So ensure you include some saturated fat in your diet, in addition to the healthier unsaturated fats. You should also maintain a healthy weight, as low body weight or excess body fat can also lead to infertility. You should eat well and exercise regularly to maintain a healthy weight.

Avoid stress.

Stress can have a dramatic negative impact on your reproductive life. Extreme stress may interfere with ovulation. You should try stress-reducing activities such as yoga, rest, meditation and exercise, and also ensure you are leading a balanced life. If you are not able to reduce your stress levels on your own, you should try counseling.Another method that works is the use of positive visualisation to boost endorphins and reduce stress hormones. Conception is more likely to occur when your stress levels are down. If thinking about having a child at your age stresses you, try visualising your body as highly fertile, with follicles growing and eggs maturing – just waiting for the right moment to make a child. Don’t allow negative thoughts to occupy your mind.

Quit smoking.

You should quit smoking if you want to maintain your fertility. Smoke contains toxic compounds that can affect egg formation, ovulation and fertilisation. Some studies show that chances of conception for smokers are reduced by 40 per cent. Smoking also increases the risk of miscarriage and also advances the onset of menopause. Many studies have shown that smoking sends fertility plummeting. However, your fertility could be back to normal within three months of quitting. If you are not a smoker, ensure you keep away from second hand smoke, which is also as dangerous. If your partner smokes, its time he quit for your sake or becomes considerate enough not to smoke close to you. Also avoid crowded places such a discos and enclosed rooms where there may be smokers. Reduce alcohol intake. Excessive alcohol is harmful to your health and does not do any good to your fertility. If you want your eggs to remain healthy and fertile for a long time, reduce your intake of alcohol or cut it out altogether. If you must drink, stick to the recommended daily intake of one small glass of wine a day.

Avoid binge drinking.

Also bear in mind that excessive alcohol reduces your judgment level and you are likely to engage in unplanned casual sex when drunk, thus exposing yourself to sexually transmitted diseases. You are also more prone to accidents when under the influence of alcohol. Have your fertility assessed. Ask your gynaecologist to do the following blood tests to check how your biological clock is ticking if you are over 35.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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