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No way will my tax shillings pay dowry!

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I am miffed. I am in a rage. My hands are trembling and if I lay them on a certain man, I will make him think long and hard. I can imagine getting myself out of many tricky situations but extricating myself from the one a certain Coast MP is suggesting may be difficult because I would have lost a very important part of what makes me a man.

The situation I cannot imagine myself getting out of is what I consider the ultimate insult to manhood; a suggestion by the MP that the government uses funds from the Constituency Development Fund (CDF) to pay dowry for ‘disadvantaged’ youth.

Perhaps with his eye being on the next polls, the MP, Ramadhan Seif Kajembe of Changamwe, seems to think that our tax money should be used to buy brides for idle youth in his constituency. You and I submit to taxation – whenever we have employment or generate income from business that is – and have no way of ensuring that our money is used well and effectively to develop schools, hospitals and roads, although it is through these that our posterity can be assured of catching up with South Korea, which we were way ahead of when Jomo the Lion reigned three decades ago.

The MP also thinks that due to the high prices of food, some married folk are not doing to each other what they should and the way they should because they are spending too much time thinking about the cost of living. But that is where he probably removes his thinking cap and adorns his politician’s hat. You see, in Kenya, politicians have verbiage licence, the equivalent of that held by people like Yours Truly who live by the pen – the poetic licence. The only difference is that while Yours Truly may be held accountable for his writings, the species to which Kajembe belongs does not have to be responsible for their utterances, unless they upset one Mzalendo Kibunja.

That is why Kajembe went on an utterance spree last month and declared that he planned to move a motion in parliament to allow CDF managers allocate a portion of the funds meant for development projects to youths who want to pay for brides. That means that to Kajembe, this is a priority development and is sure to keep the people of Changamwe and other constituencies well fed and happy. It also means that he does not have any development projects to finance with that money.

I am only sure of one thing though; if such a move passes, Kajembe would win votes from all the lads admiring beautiful lasses from afar. What I am not sure of is if the lads and lasses consequently coupled would have anything on their tables to give their broods, which they would inevitably have as they would be excited and eager to procreate.

Where I come from, no man paid a fellow man’s dowry unless it was his son’s. Even where a father paid his son’s dowry, the son would still be required to prove his mettle later in life, as he would be required to pay dowry for a second bride, or for his sons. That dowry is what he would have won from his forays into the neighbouring tribe’s kraals. Today there are other means to prove our mettle. We study hard, work hard and earn hard to be able to provide our bride-wealth or dowry, whichever suits you.

Legislation is not enough to solve our problems. Leaders and government must move beyond words to action; to provide the people with the sort of empowerment that will improve their lot, not to continue to subject them to manipulation by the political elite, which Kajembe’s declaration, although empty, by all means, is.

 

Visit http://manenoleo.wordpress.com for more

Email: maneno@parents.co.ke

 

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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