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Living life on the slow lane

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I once read about the Slow Movement, founded over 20 years ago by Italian Carlo Petrini, and I thought, slow what??? How could anyone choose to live life on the slow lane and watch the world pass them by? Well, my shoulder injury and recent surgery forced me to have a taste of slow life when I was grounded for six weeks; I literally mean grounded at home – never once in that time did I walk past my front gate. This experience made me reflect about the fast life we lead and the rat race most of us seem to thrive on.

Today, I feel like becoming an advocate of slowing down our lives, thus embracing the slow movement. As one who has lived on the fast lane, always on the move trying to achieve a million and one things, and most days not even having time to relax or enjoy a meal, I now know what it is like in the slow lane.

All my life, I have had no time for slow people – those who take forever to complete one small task and cannot multitask. Why can’t they learn to be on the phone and on the computer while watching TV and eating, all at the same time? The ‘superwoman’ in me couldn’t fathom how one could do only a limited number of things in a day, and for that matter in slow motion. I have been on the slow lane and can tell you it’s not such a bad place if you get there voluntarily and not be forced by circumstances.

When you become obsessed with living life on the fast lane, you may not realise it at the time but everything suffers – your health, relationships, and your diet. Many are the times I live on coffee and tea or a fruit on the go because I don’t get a moment for a proper meal. I regret the many friends I have abandoned over the years because I have been too busy.

In the six weeks I have been confined to my house, I have learnt to chew food; seriously, I gobbled food before to get over with eating and do more important things. I have learnt to do one thing at a time; with only one hand I didn’t have a choice, yet before my phone would be glued to the ear, my fingers fast and furious on the keyboard  and still have the TV on not to miss the breaking news! Yet in those six weeks, I still did my work, albeit slowly with one finger but the typing was more accurate so I didn’t have to spend a lot of time spellchecking. I have actually found myself noticing, appreciating and enjoying many things I previously took for granted.

The Slow Movement I mentioned earlier is about taking time to enjoy the things that give us pleasure; it’s about reconnecting with food, people and places. It advocates for balance. Instead of doing everything faster, doing it at the right speed – not driving at 120kph when you will still get there at 80. The Slow Movement is about creating a more enjoyable life, while achieving all the important goals in your life. It is not about laziness, but working smartly and letting yourself live in the moment and enjoying it.

And let me tell you the truth, I am now sold to this movement. I want to change my life to a lower gear so I can enjoy the things I missed while in the fast lane. I want to enjoy my garden, have time for a dip in the pool, relax in the steam and sauna bath, get a massage, spend more time with my family, have my friends come over for an afternoon of catching up and enjoying the good old cup of tea, or simply lounging in the verandah with a good book. I want to read at least half of the books in my library, which I have bought over the years with the intention of reading but have never had time to do so. I want to become more practical by not being so busy that I don’t get the time for the things that really matter. I am certainly going to change my pace so I can have time to smell the roses, hear the birds sing and count my blessings.

Making a change to slow down may seem like accepting you are growing old or have lost energy, but these kinds of thoughts can only bring fear, and when you are afraid you avoid confronting yourself and reality. You shouldn’t feel guilty for not having a ‘to-do-list’ with a million and one things – just do what is necessary and what you can do with pleasure and enjoyment. Learn to delegate and remember nobody is indispensable. When you slow down you give full attention to what you are doing – if it’s time to eat, let it be time to eat; if it’s time to sit down with your partner and just have a good chat, let that be the only thing on your agenda – no TV, no phone calls.

I know it will not be that easy making this transformation but I am determined. I have made a promise to myself that my life will have to change. I want to enjoy life and not just be obsessed with achieving more and more.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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