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LET EVERY DAY BE VALENTINE’S DAY

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Love. Thank God for love. Just give a thought to the idea of a loveless world – a world where raw, animal instincts of survival and cannibalism are the principles by which the universe is governed. No hard feelings, just everyone trying to eliminate the other, take advantage of, out-manoeuvre the other just to get by. You kill, you maim, you destroy everyone and everything that stands on your way, believing like the philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre that “Hell is my neighbour” – and so the faster you get rid of your neighbour, the faster you live in nirvana, or heaven on earth, so to speak.

But love reigns and for that reason, “a man shall leave behind his father and mother and be with his wife.” Because of love, a man and woman are able to weave a life-long relationship around them, fighting off anything that would set them apart, cuddling in bad times and going out to conquer the world when everyone else thinks the weather is bad for adventure.

And love brought us Valentine’s Day! The day humanity kisses more than on any other day, when chocolate bars fly off the supermarket shelves like never before and when roses paint the world red. There’s lots of romance and lovemaking, reconciliation, proposals and gifts. Valentine’s Day could be the preamble of how life will be in the hereafter.

A chama I attend every second Sunday of the month has been pushed forward to March because members excused themselves, saying they won’t be available. Everyone wanted the meeting postponed for the only reason that this month’s second Sunday is Valentine’s Day. I believe many other people around the world have put every other plan on hold to observe this solemn day of love and romance. Wasn’t it a surprise that an all-men chama would opt not to meet because of Valentine’s?

I hope we all make it memorable for our wives and girlfriends. Nothing is as difficult for me as carrying flowers for my wife; I always feel like the whole world has its 14 billion eyes of all the seven billion people looking at me and all the seven billion mouths whispering, “Look at him,” – flowers are not a man’s thing, but for Valentine’s we carry them. Yes, you too brother. Buy her a chocolate, a bottle of wine or whatever people buy their loves on Valentine’s day. Let’s take them to a fancy restaurant too or if it please her, make her a special dinner at home. Just do everything to make her happy.

But what happens after valentine’s? Do we go back to the local with the boys? Do we look for excuses to stay away from our wives and girlfriends until the next Valentine’s Day? Hope not.

Let us commit this year to make each and every day a mini Valentine’s Day. Tell her “I love you” every morning before you part ways for the day, and another “I missed you” coloured with a kiss the first thing you meet after a busy day apart from each other. Train your child to sleep in their cot so that you hold each other the first 20 or so minutes after you get to bed and let your legs lock. Kiss and say goodnight and let her use your chest as her pillow for some time. That coming together of your bodies will strengthen your relationship in ways you cannot understand.

And once in a while, leave the children behind and go out for dinner at a good restaurant: not at a noisy and smoke-filled nyama choma joint. And offer to cook from time to time. And yes, re-learn to open the car door for her, to pull a chair for her, and to hold her hand while taking a walk.

Finally, invest in her; the hair, the nails, the clothing – you name it. Give her the best you can on these and see her love for you grow before your very eyes. For Valentine’s, love is fleeting unless it has been cultivated overtime. Don’t just give your better half love just once in a year like a rite of passage. Love her today, tomorrow and the day after; and she will make you feel and live like a king.

      Published in February 2015

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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