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How Absentee Fathers Affect Women's Sexuality

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Why are some women more sexually active than others? There’s a host of sociocultural, biological, and genetic explanations—many of which transcend the narrow “women are more selective” stance offered by some evolutionary theorists—and no single reason. But a new study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests that how present or absent women’s fathers were during their childhood can strongly influence their mating behaviors once they’re adults.

A team of researchers from the University of Utah and Texas Christian University, led by Danielle Delpiore, conducted five separate studies to explore the impact that having an absent or disengaged father had upon women’s perceptions of sexual interest from men they had never met.

In the first study, 34 women were asked to describe in detail a time that their father was “physically or psychologically absent for an important life event” in order to stir up “thoughts and feelings associated with parental disengagement.” (As a comparison, 41 women were asked to describe a time when their father was present for an important life event.) Shortly thereafter, all participants were asked to “imagine they were dating a man and to rate the likelihood that he wanted to have sex or develop a committed relationship with them” given that he performed 10 behaviors—hand-holding, complimenting, saying “I love you,” buying the participant expensive jewelry, buying her dinner, asking the participant out on a date, calling or texting the participant, buying the participant a drink, flirting with the participant, and telling the participant she was sexy.

Women who had mulled over a time when their fathers were absent were more likely to attribute higher levels of romantic and sexual interest to this fictitious male than those who mulled over a time when their fathers were present, offering the researchers “initial evidence that paternal disengagement may lead women to perceive men in ways that expedite sexual activity.”

In the second study, 35 women underwent the same “paternal disengagement” prime (recalling a time when their father was physically or emotionally absent) and 33 were asked to recall a time when their mother was absent. All were then asked to rate how sexually attractive they perceived a series of male faces displaying neutral expressions as well as how angry, fearful, or happy these faces looked. Women who recalled a time when their fathers were absent were more likely to rate these men’s faces as sexually attractive than women who recalled a time when their mothers were absent. Women primed to recall paternal disengagement also perceived these males’ faces to look happier.

The third study followed the same priming procedure (this time, asking 38 women to recall a time their fathers were absent, while asking 48 other women to recall a time their mothers were absent) after which all participants were asked to rate the attractiveness of both male and female faces (16 in total) as well as to rate the degree to which the face conveyed sexual arousal and/or other emotions (e.g., anger, fear, happiness). Yet again, paternal disengagement appeared to incline women towards perceiving greater sexual intent in male faces but not toward perceiving greater sexual intent in female faces.

The fourth study began with the same priming procedure, this time fitting women with an electrode on their fingers that led them to believe they were engaging in a “guided imagery” task designed to measure their “baseline stress response.” Following the prime, women were then introduced (remotely, via a television screen) to a previously unknown male (he was a fellow researcher) with whom they engaged in a virtual “getting to know you” interview. To wrap up, participants were asked to rate their perceptions of this man, specifically how likely they thought this individual was to “(a) form a friendship with you; (b) go on a date with you; (c) enter into a committed relationship with you; and (d) have a short-term sexual relationship with you.”

Participants were videotaped during these interactions, which enabled the researchers to observe how flirtatious their behavior was. Following the virtual exchange, all were asked to report how strongly they felt the male on the other end of the screen wanted to date and/or have sex with them. Yet again, women entering into the exchange after having recalled an event during which their fathers were absent were more likely than those entering the exchange following recollection of a mother’s absence to attribute more romantic and sexual interest to the male in the video. Those primed with paternal disengagement were also more likely to engage in flirting behavior with the stranger.

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In the first four studies, all female participants came from “intact” (not divorced) households, so their recollections of paternal absence may not have been as emotionally charged as, say, females who emerged from homes that had been torn apart by divorce or separation. Hence why, in the fifth study, the researchers sought to explore how women who had weathered their parents’ divorce during childhood and experienced extended paternal absence perceived and behaved around men they had never met.

In this fifth and final study, 117 women were divided into paternal disengagement or maternal disengagement groups. (Those in the disengagement group were pushed to recall, more specifically, a time when they felt intense emotional pain due to their father’s emotional or physical absence.) To assess the nature of, and distance inherent in, participants’ relationships with their fathers, researchers interviewed these women about the harshness of their fathers’ parenting tactics, utilizing the Conflict Tactics Scale, which asks interviewees to rate how accurate are statements such as “My father insulted me or put me down,” as well as about how “deviant” they perceived their fathers’ behaviors as being during their upbringing, based on a series of questions such as “Did your birth father suffer from nervous or emotional problems?” “…have trouble with drug abuse?” or “…have temper tantrums or a hot temper?”

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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