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Healthy Loving Calls for Hard Work

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A healthy relationship can be realised through understanding, evaluation and hard work, and knowing that good things do not come easy.It’s perfectly normal to walk around with your head in the clouds when you start a new relationship. Everything appears to be as it should and you are at peace with the world. However, when this bubble eventually bursts, you’re forced to face reality. This is when you see your relationship for what it really is, good or bad. It is also the time to evaluate your relationship. Is it a healthy one? What can be done to improve it? There are several qualities you can look out for that can tell you whether or not you are in a healthy relationship.

Trust and honesty. Are you secure in each other’s love? Both of you should trust in the fact that should the relationship face challenges, your love would stand. You should be loved for who you are and not what you do or what you have. You should also trust your partner with other people and both of you should own up to your feelings and mistakes. Honesty is a component of trust.

Good communication. This may be through body language or other media, like phone calls, text messages or emails. Good communication requires openness and understanding. Your relationship should be a safe haven where you can both express your needs, wants, dreams, worries, secrets, and anything else without fear of judgement.

Equality. Do you find yourself dictating what you and your partner do most of the time? If you do, that is an unhealthy aspect of your relationship. It is necessary that there be a balance in your relationship so that both of you feel like equals. One person should not be in control of the relationship; it is a give and take where you both share in the decision-making and compromise. Both your needs should be met in your relationship.

Mutual respect. This means that both you and your partner accept and are proud of each other. A healthy relationship also requires you to listen to, and value each other’s ideas and opinions. Relationships that lack respect can be hurtful as a result of the insults and unkind words that may be said.

Fun and laughter. You and your significant other need to be able to appreciate and enjoy each other’s sense of humour. This doesn’t mean that you should always find humour in the same things but that you’re able to help each other cheer up during difficult times. You should also be able to loosen up and be playful with each other. It may not seem like it, but laughter and fun play big roles in a healthy relationship.

Enjoying time spent together and apart. It is natural to want to spend lots of time together and you should enjoy each other’s company as much as you can. However, you both need to have other friends and interests so you’re not fully dependent on each other. You should be comfortable and secure enough in your relationship to let one another spend time with other friends and pursue personal interests. Otherwise the relationship becomes restrictive and suffocating, which makes it an unhealthy one.

Conflict resolution. How do you resolve conf lict in your relationship? Conf licts are inevitable in any type of relationship. No one is perfect and one time or another you will step on each other’s toes. How you resolve your conf licts tells how healthy your relationship is. You should have a technique of doing this. You may decide to walk away from the conflict and deal with it later when you’re both level-headed. Sweeping your problems under the carpet is not an effective way of handling conflicts. Neither is getting physical or bringing up past issues.

It’s important to understand that just because an aspect mentioned above is missing, doesn’t mean you are in an unhealthy relationship. It may only mean that you and your partner need to work on developing that particular aspect of your relationship.

The factors required for a healthy relationship do not come naturally just because two people love each other. These are nurtured by the efforts of two people committed to the success of their relationship. Everyone deserves to feel happy and safe in his or her relationship. Work hard for a healthy one.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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