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GIVE YOURSELF A LIFE AUDIT

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My cousin has been a creature of habit. Every day, he would go to work using the same road, have lunch at the same place, the same type of food and pass by the bar in the evening. On Saturdays, he would sleep until 11am, take his breakfast and thereafter go out “to take the car for cleaning” or “to buy a newspaper” that is near the local bar where he would eat nyama choma and drink alcohol until late in the night. On Sundays, he would stay indoors until six in the evening when he would go out “to meet a friend,” still at the local and return after a couple of drinks. But something almost unbelievable happened recently – he quit drinking.

His life is now disrupted. He goes home straight from work and no longer takes out his car to the car wash just to have his beer; no! He cleans his car at home and sends his son to buy the newspaper for him. I was with him the Sunday before I wrote this and oh boy, he is having a hard time especially during weekends as his friends, believe something untoward has happened to him. That particular Sunday was no different and he was forced to put his phone on flight mode just to keep off the distractors. But he has made up his mind; and he is at peace with it.

That Sunday, I reminded him that our family knows him for his love for the bottle since everything else seemed to rotate around it. I asked him what triggered the change of lifestyle. “I finally did an audit of my life and I realised it revolved around the bottle,” he told me. And then he added: “It also dawned on me that every time I bought a bottle of beer, I was helping someone else grow their company. And so I asked myself, when will I start building mine? When will people start paying me for using my products? I was making other people rich – shareholders of the beer company and the bar owner – and I was becoming poorer. This was an eye opener and I told the bottle… ‘It’s over between us’. This is the third month without taking even a sip and I don’t intend to.”

I was not about to let him stop talking and I encouraged him to continue speaking. “I now want to open a shop at home. You see, I had already built a shop but never got to stock it. My wife has her grocery outside the shop and our plan is for her to operate the shop until six when the grocery gets busy and I will make sure I am at home at that time to take over the running of the shop. Lately, my eyes have also opened to the fact that I have a huge space in my compound that is disused. I am planning to keep a few pigs and kienyeji chicken too. All the money I used to spend on drinks is now coming home and so far it has been good. I don’t even want to think about it but I sure wasted a lot of money on alcohol, not to mention the time I squandered out there.”

This was food to my ears and I immediately knew I was going to write about it. My cousin is not an old man. He is about 33 and has a young family of three children. He would often get into a fight with his wife for being an irresponsible father. He seldom attended family meetings or any other meeting outside the bar. He was the prodigal son of the family. And here he was telling me about his redemption. How could I not write about that?

But I am not writing for my cousin. I am writing for you brother. Fanya hesabu. Do an audit of your lifestyle and the money that goes into what I would call “bad use” and see whether, like our banks, you would not be put under receivership. Maybe it’s not alcohol; perhaps there is another addiction you spend all your free time and money on. Will you continue with it at the expense of your family and future? There is no tomorrow for you to change then; now is all we have. Commit to review your life. Commit today to a good life. Commit to let go any habit that costs you time and money that could be put into better use. You will be glad you did.

May 2016

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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