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DORCAS WAITHERA: Overcoming one disaster after another

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The saying ‘sometimes the biggest smile contains the most pain’ pretty much sums up Dorcas Waithera’s life. Behind her radiant face and infectious smile lies a story of so much pain it is incredible that she even has the strength to radiate warmth and hope to those around her.

Hers is a classic example of jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. Her woes started when her father died when she was in form three. A cancer survivor herself, Dorcas says that life was normal before her father’s demise.

“I was born and raised in Bahati Estate in Nairobi. My father worked in Kirinyaga Road where he sold car spare parts while my mother worked as a subordinate staff with the defunct Nairobi City Council. Life was okay as they would meet our daily needs without much struggle,” says Dorcas, the first-born in a family of four girls.

Troubles start…

The fairly good life they were accustomed to didn’t last long as her father fell ill in 1993 while she was in class eight. Dorcas says her parents didn’t disclose the nature of her father’s illness to the children, but they witnessed him being moved from hospital to hospital in search of a cure.

“We prayed and hoped that he will get better but his condition deteriorated day by day. I remember before he died, he was brought home from Kenyatta National Hospital as doctors had given up on him. He was looking very frail,” says Dorcas.

Her father passed on in 1996 and since no one revealed to them the cause of his death, they assumed he succumbed to tuberculosis. “I was at the time in form three. We buried dad and I went back to school but life was not easy as mum was now feeding us and paying our school fees singlehandedly,” recalls Dorcas.

But hard times don’t last and within no time Dorcas had completed her Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education (KCSE) and got herself a job. “I passed KCSE but my mum wasn’t in a position to help me go on with education. I was employed at a grocery shop in town. I gave my mother whatever I earned to assist her make ends meet for the family,” says Dorcas.

It was after completing her secondary school education that her mother revealed to her that her father had died of HIV/AIDS. The pandemic was a new phenomenon at the time and the stigma was real. Also, the management of the disease was not as advanced as it is today. Her father had little chance of survival.

“My mother wanted to go for testing and I offered to accompany her, but she preferred going alone. In retrospect, I think she thought I was too young to bear the news,” she says.

The test came out positive. The results took a toll on her mother and she started ailing soon thereafter. It appeared her mother had suspected all along that she was infected and given up hope because she didn’t fight the disease. “A few months after the diagnosis, it was clear my mother was not going to make it and even though she was living on borrowed time, I still encouraged her to fight the virus. But she would say that it was her time to rest,” recalls Dorcas.

And rest she did. Being the eldest child, Dorcas points this as one of her most trying moment as she was left in charge of her siblings with major responsibilities such as feeding, guiding and protecting them, falling squarely on her. She tried her best to be the bread winner and she is grateful that she was able to meet her siblings’ basic needs.

Dorcas got married in 2002 and two of her sisters followed suit. She moved with her younger sister to her new home. She says her marriage came as a much-needed relief from life’s struggles. Blessings were surely following her as she landed a good job and her husband was also in a stable job. The couple was blessed with two boys.

Then the accident happens…

Dorcas had traveled to Loitoktok with her husband on a work-related duty in 2012 when they were involved in a car accident. While they both survived by the grace of God, it looked like Dorcas came out worse off. She suffered a broken rib while her husband had no major visible injuries apart from a few bruises. Good Samaritans took them to a nearby hospital where they received first aid before being transferred to a hospital in Nairobi. They were both admitted and later discharged.

But two weeks later her husband started complaining of a headache. They went back to hospital and the doctor said it was normal to get headaches after an accident. When they headaches became more severe with each coming day, they sought specialised treatment. The  doctor recommended her husband to get a head scan. It revealed haemorrhage from a ruptured vein, which had formed a clot that was exerting pressure on his brain. This required emergency surgery.

Although the doctors did their best, her husband didn’t pull through after the surgery. Dorcas was left a young widow with two young children to look after. “At this point, I was hopeless. I had lost my dad, my mum and now my husband. I felt so discouraged but I had to go on with life for the sake of my children,” she says.

Dorcas believes that everything that happens in life has God’s consent because if it didn’t, He would stop it. “I came to realise that God doesn’t give big battles to young and inexperienced soldiers. He can’t allow temptations beyond me come my way,” she says.

Then a cancer diagnosis…

Dorcas courageously faced life, managing to handle whatever challenge life threw her way, always believing God’s grace was sufficient to see her through. Despite her this strength, she was literally thrown off balance in 2014 after she diagnosed with a cancerous tumour in her ovary.

She then believed the die had been cast and it was her time to join her parents and husband. “I cried my eyes out. My family was in denial and I kept asking God why me. Hadn’t I had my fair share of troubles?” she recalls.

Her friends and family quickly organised a fundraiser to take her to India for treatment. They raised enough money and successful treatment was done in India. She has now been declared cancer-free but is still under medication. Dorcas, a staunch Christian, says her story is a testimony that God fights for his people.

“Some people relate my story with that of Jacob in the Bible but I like to see myself as David. I have fought bears in life and the cancer was Goliath,” she says.

Then a fire consumes everything…

After going through so much in life, Dorcas thought the gods were done with her. But before she could breathe a sigh of relief, her house went up in flames in November 2015 and she lost everything she owned. “It was around 9pm at night when fire broke out in my neighbours’ house. The fire moved fast and we helplessly watched as my house caught fire, too. We didn’t salvage anything,” she says.

Her son was preparing to sit for the Kenya Certificate of Primary Education (KCPE) and she feared that the turn of events would affect him psychologically but it didn’t as he passed the exams.

Having gone through so much in life and coming out unscathed, Dorcas encouraged her children that God would restore what the enemy had stolen from them. Imagining that her friends must have been exhausted by her incessant woes, Dorcas purposed to get back on her feet singlehandedly. “I chose to wait on God as I felt I had become a burden to the society,” she notes.

Dorcas has written a book – In the Potter’s Hand – that sums up her life’s struggles, to encourage others. Interestingly, many of the bad things that have happened in her life took place in the month of November and she therefore purposefully prays for this particular month.

And just like Dorcas in the Bible, she wants to start a program to help the less privileged in society. “God is taking me to my name. There is a cause he wants me to accomplish before I leave the world,” says Dorcas who has already adopted one child.

She points out that she has come to realize the battles she has fought in life are the devil’s way of distracting her from her purpose. “But the good news is that I know my purpose and I will fight for it. I know I am appointed and anointed not disappointed,” she concludes.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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