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Christian dating: Signs of a godly partner

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There is a reason the Bible insists on being equally yoked in marriage. This is because when you are entering a relationship, you want your partner to grow with you instead of hindering your growth. For the same reason, people tend to convert to their spouse’s faith once they are married.

Christian dating, however, can be challenging as the size of the dating pool shrinks significantly. But even then, your only criteria for dating cannot be does that they spiritual maturity.

Photo by Patrick Fore / Unsplash

What being equally yoked actually means

This is a metaphor; it means that as a Christian, you should not marry or date someone who will hinder your spiritual growth. It also means that marriage will bind you together. Imagine if one ox wants to pull one way and another in the other direction, you’ll get nowhere. Or worse, you’ll sever what binds you together( divorce)

SEE ALSO: How to know you have found the one

You know you are equally yoked when the person you are dating or about to marry has the following qualities.

1. They love according 1 Corinthians 13

When you mess up or fall short, do they exhibit;

Patience: Do they acknowledge we all have growing to do, and we will fall short of the glory of God? Or, when you fail, do they grow aloof or annoyed with you?

Kindness: Do they offer grace often? Or do they present several qualifying obstacles before you can earn their forgiveness?

A Lack of Envy: When you meet success, do they cheer for you or grow cold with envy?

Humility: Can they admit when they mess up? Do they ask for forgiveness, or do they project blame onto everyone else?

Honor: How do they treat “the least of these”? Do they talk one way to a CEO and a different way to a server at a restaurant? Or do they respect everyone?

Selflessness: Do they put others before themselves?

Cool temperedness: When someone wrongs them, do they fly into a rage? Or do they weigh assumption of goodwill and attempt to see the events from the other person’s perspective?

Forgiveness: How many grudges do they hold? Do they lament events that happened years ago, gossip, or keep a record of wrongs others have done?

A Delight in Goodness: We all struggle with specific types of sin. But do they defend their sin they often fall prey to? Or do they rejoice in truth and admit when they fall short?

Protection, Trust, Hope, Perseverance: Do they give up on people easily? What happens when they discover your imperfections?

Is your relationship ready for the next level? Here’s how to find out
Not all unions end in marriage and it is okay to feel that your partner is not the one in the long run. This will save you from holding on to a stagnant train and lead you to a moving one.

2. They enhance your spiritual journey

You can use the following checklist to see if they help or stunt your growth:

They bring up God and Christianity often in conversation: They show they have no shame when it comes to the Gospel. God is their standard of measuring everything. Not worldly standards. They rarely engage in mundane topics.

They show interest in your story and your growth: They want you to grow in Christ, and they show interest in your spiritual story and in your future growth. If they seem apathetic when you hit rough spiritual spots, this could wave a red flag.

Lust vs. Love: How to tell the difference?
Love and lust are both exhilarating emotions, and everyone wants to be sure that besides the exhilarating emotions, there is a solid connection that can last a life time.

3. They read the word of God every day

Yes, we all slip up on this one now and then. But to combat the spiritual forces that seek to destroy us every day, we need to engage with Scripture. Do they share insights they’ve received from daily readings? Do they seem curious about your own findings in the Bible?

Photo by Susana Fernández / Unsplash

4. They have plugged themselves into a local church

Not only do they attend church services, but they seem interested in getting involved in church or local ministries. Someone with a vibrant relationship with Christ will want to serve others.  If they like to make a lot of excuses for why they can’t help out in ministry, or worse, if they don’t attend a church at all or consistently, this may show they need some spiritual maturity before they can further proceed in a Christian relationship.

As a Christian, do not compromise your faith for those who still want to walk with the world. If they are not the one, they are not the one. Be true to yourself.

Why studying your partner before marriage is important
Regardless of your busy schedules, make time to get to know your partner better. You need to grasp your spouse’s point of view about relationships, finance and kids just to name a few.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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