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8 unwritten rules of marriage

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Every married person knows the weight that marriage vows carry and will do well to keep them in mind at all times. However, more often than not, couples find themselves in trouble not for the vows themselves but for the little unspoken rules that govern peace and coexistence between couples.

According to experts, the following are the not so obvious marriage rules that you should observe in your marriage.

Respect each other’s wishes and privacy

Your spouse may not desire to have their lives in the public eye and may thus not want their pictures on social media. It is important that you both agree and respect one another’s need for privacy and this may include the children too. Establish the guidelines and resist the temptation to air your grievances in public.

Avoid criticism of your partner’s circle

While constructive criticism every once in a while may be healthy, being overcritical about your spouses circle especially friends can  be very unhealthy to your marriage. Be very cautious and instead of criticising, practise empathy.

READ ALSO: Tips to help you stay married

Give advice when asked

There is always a temptation to give unsolicited advice. Give your support, a listening ear, but do not presume that you know what is best. Give your spouse space to make decisions and gain confidence through trial and error and ask that they do the same for you. Trust that they can make the best choices for both of you.

Make quality time a priority

Imagine when you are trying to have some alone time together as a couple and one person is glued to their phone? It will make you feel unwanted and underappreciated by your significant other. Therefore, find a balance and so that family time becomes simply that without distractions from external sources including cell phones.

Photo by Git Stephen Gitau from Pexels

Do not threaten your partner with Divorce

Divorce is not a word that should be blurted out every there is an argument or a disagreement. This may be hurtful and emotionally damaging to your partner. Continuous use only increases the chances of your actual divorce.

Fight maturely

Choose what to fight over and what not to, speak up. Tell your partner what bothers you and that you’d like to work on a solution, You’d be surprised what you could learn about each other.

Photo by Alex Green from Pexels

Disclose any close encounters with old flames

An encounter with your ex can happen either online through social media or physically at a groceries store. Do not keep quiet with this, hoping that your partner does not find out as it can blow up in your face.

Let the past be simply that…the past

Have an understanding that past arguments remain in the past statute of limitations on them. People repeat ancient disagreements because they haven’t resolved the problem. Letting things fester often causes marriages to break down. It’s important to address issues as they happen and come to some sort of a resolution—agreeing to disagree counts.

Bottom line

Although breaking the marriage vows is a serious detriment to your marriage, lack of proper communication and prioritizing are equally dangerous. You both must be able to reason maturely and constructively to solve problems.

The July issue of Parents Magazine celebrates 35 years!
The July issue of Parents Magazine celebrates 35 years. Get your copy today to share the joy of this milestone in an issue packed with inspirational experiences of men and women positively impacting society and all other regular columns, as the founding editor walks you down memory lane.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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