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5 signs he is a sexual predator

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The term ‘sexual predator’ may not be new to most people. However, a significant percentage of the population are not aware that sexual predators do not prey on children alone, even adults can be victims.

A sexual predator is anyone who performs sexual misconduct that can be termed predatory or abusive. 90 % of predators are males who seek inappropriate sexual contact including rape and paedophilia. A sexual predator views sex as a way of controlling and dominating others. Here are five characteristics of sexual predators.

Makes you depend on him

By creating a dependency on him, he leads you on through an unbalanced intimacy. He provides what you may view as unique by buying you gifts, heaping praise on you as well as calling and texting to show you that he cares. He listens to you and makes you feel respected and adored, and this builds loyalty and vulnerability, which he will use against you.

This is the grooming process, as he prowls on you.

Manipulates you with his words

This means that the predator is trying to make his shortcomings your fault. He may end up lying, twisting your words and even blowing things out of proportion to distract you from his words and actions. His feelings come first and yours don’t count unless he can use it against you. He may notice your anger and say that this shows that you don’t love him.

To make it worse. He may end up gaslighting you. This means that he abuses you emotionally to the point where you doubt your thoughts, memories and things you have gone through.  

When he notices an opening, he goes forward with his attack knowing he can successfully manipulate you.

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Pushes your sexual boundaries

To a sexual predator, boundaries are breakable and he does not respect them. He may start by introducing his motives as a joke or a game. He can do this by touching your knees and then this escalates to thigh-touching and up to your private parts.

Whenever you express your discomfort, he ignores your resistance and proceeds with risky sexual behaviour.

Nakuru man who raped lover’s daughter gets 20 years in prison
Mwanzia lured the minor with Ksh 100 in the incident that took place on June 14, 2020, at Mzee Wanyama in Nakuru East Sub-county.

He controls you

A sexual predator is often insecure. He will be uncomfortable with you talking to male friends and even to family. He wants to own you and everything that is yours like your time and your emotions. He will stalk you on social media and even send rude comments on your page to those who compliment you.

This does not stop there. He will make a fuss about how you dress and how you talk, implying that it is sexual. His general reaction will be to suppress your self-expression and to limit your contact with the people you care about.

This characteristic is a key indicator of a sexual predator although through manipulation it may go unnoticed.

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He disfigures your self-image

A sexual predator has narcissistic tendencies whereby he focuses everything on himself. He will overlook your input and concerns, always claiming that you are the one who wants all the attention.

He will judge your actions inside and outside the bedroom or wherever.  This way he gets you self-conscious, thinking that he is the only one who sees the good in you, the beauty that makes you who you are.

He will try to use the knowledge he has on your past as a weapon to degrade you and soil your self-image.

It is not easy to identify a sex predator from face value. The best thing to do is to be conscious of who you let into your life. Also, knowing the signs described in this article will help you point out any person who may want to prey on you.

The November issue of Parents Magazine celebrates single parents
Up-close and candid with Ghetto Classics founder Elizabeth Njoroge on music, navigating motherhood, and single parenting.Maria Muinde on finding healing after being accused of her husband’s death and being a voice for widows..

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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