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When Pregnancy Almost Kills You

Published

9 years ago

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Thembi Johnson remembers the last real meal she ate when she was pregnant with her daughter in 2011. She was about six weeks along and went out for pizza. She didn’t feel great, but she managed to eat a slice or two. The next day, everything changed. Every single food she put in her mouth came right back up. Every single smell made her nauseated.

Johnson went to her doctor for answers and was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), a condition marked by severe nausea, vomiting, weight loss and dehydration during pregnancy. Johnson had them all. Two weeks after she was diagnosed, she was hospitalized for severe dehydration. Soon after she went into the hospital again, this time staying for almost a month. Johnson eventually required a home nurse who helped her get all of her nutrition intravenously, and was hooked up to a portable pump that gave her a constant stream of anti-nausea medication. She did not consume any actual food for more than a month.

“I remember one day I got back from the grocery store and I was so weak, all I could do was get to the front door. Then I crawled to the bathroom and laid there ― after dry heaving ― with my cheek on the tile floor,” she recalled. “Two hours later, that’s how my husband found me. The door to the house was wide open. The car door was open. He saw my feet hanging out the door and thought I was dead.”

Hyperemesis gravidarum is back in the news with the announcement that Kate Middleton ― the world’s most famous HG sufferer ― is pregnant with her third child and once again struggling with the condition, cancelling planned appearances and missing the first day of school with her son on Thursday. While Middleton has done more than just about anyone to draw attention to HG, some are still quick to dismiss her diagnosis as nothing more than an overblown excuse to lay low. “Why the fuss over morning sickness?” said one commenter on The Daily Mail website. Headlines and articles have unwittingly downplayed the seriousness of HG by labeling it “severe morning sickness.”

But as the harrowing pregnancies of moms like Johnson make clear, describing HG as simply a more intense version of the nausea and vomiting most pregnant women encounter is not only dismissive; it’s potentially dangerous. And it means that many moms-to-be end up suffering alone.

“You just want to yell at people, ‘It’s not the same!’” Johnson said. “People have this notion that everybody exaggerates everything, but in this situation you don’t have to exaggerate. It’s as bad as you can imagine.”

NOT morning sickness

Soon after the latest royal pregnancy was announced, HuffPost Parents posted a callout on its Facebook page looking for women willing to talk about their experiences with HG. Within 24 hours, more than 100 e-mails poured in. Women called themselves “HG survivors” and described battles with extreme weight loss and vomiting more than 20 times a day. Again and again they emphasized one point: Morning sickness and HG are not the same thing.

Certainly morning sickness ― which affects roughly 70 percent of moms in the first trimester ― can be hard, but it’s generally not harmful for women or their babies and tends to fade. HG, on the other hand, absolutely puts women and babies at risk. These are the moms-to-be who vomit more than three to four times a day, who are unable to keep down any food and who lose more than 5 percent of their pre-pregnancy weight. The Oregon-based Hyperemesis Education and Research Foundation (HER) says these women tend to have nutritional deficiencies and metabolic imbalances that can be life-threatening.

“It’s one of the hardest feelings to describe,” a mom who was hospitalized 14 times in the first half of her pregnancy wrote in an e-mail to HuffPost. “Feeling like you’re going to die at any given moment is an understatement. It literally changes your life — being so tired your muscles hurt, so dehydrated your head pounds non-stop, getting so used to throwing up you can feel it a mile away.” “I honestly thought we where dying,” another wrote. “I’d cry, but was so dehydrated I had no tears. At one point I was vomiting so hard I hit my head on the toilet and passed out.” That woman lost her job and suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder.

Carla Rose, 30, a single mother of now 1-and-a-half-year-old twins, told HuffPost that she was forced to go to the hospital two to three times a week to get IV nutrition and fluids. Early on in her pregnancy, she was vomiting more than 20 times a day. By her second trimester, Rose was on a cocktail of medication that limited her vomiting to five or six episodes daily, but she never reached a point when she was not regularly throwing up. At 25 weeks, she went on complete bedrest and took leave from her teaching job after passing out in the classroom. She was so weak, she often relied on a wheelchair to get around.

“The only thing you can think about is how terrible you feel,” Rose said. “I would live on the bathroom floor because I could not stop vomiting. I was literally green. Like, people would come up to me and say ‘Your skin color is green.’”

“My girls are beautiful and healthy,” she added, “but they ate me alive.”

No clear answers

Current estimates suggest that between 0.3 and 2.3 percent of all pregnant women experience HG, though it’s possible the numbers are higher because some women don’t seek treatment for it. The HER Foundation’s executive director Kimber MacGibbon, a registered nurse and an HG survivor herself, told HuffPost the site gets half a million visitors every year and has more than 13,000 followers on Facebook.

The hormones associated with pregnancy ― namely estrogen ― are thought to play a key role, though MacGibbon told HuffPost researchers are increasingly interested in the role that genetics play. A 2010 study also found that HG may be hereditary to some degree, but the exact causes remain unknown. MacGibbon did note that having a seemingly healthy (and obviously privileged) woman like Kate Middleton become the public face of HG has at least helped debunk the notion that it’s caused by women not taking care of themselves or looking to get attention.

Treatment options do exist ― generally through IV nutrition and fluids, as well as prescription anti-vomiting medications ― but full relief isn’t on the table. The goal is to keep mom and baby safe from serious complications like low birth weight, thyroid and liver problems and the kind of severe dehydration that can hospitalize women for weeks on end.

“You can treat it, but treatment doesn’t equal zero symptoms,” MacGibbon said.

About half of women find their symptoms subside by the time they’re midway through their pregnancy, while the rest struggle the whole time. But women in both groups say the memories of HG ― of hour upon hour spent vomiting on the floor, or finishing a pregnancy weighing less than they did when it began ― stay with them for a long time.

Take Robyn, a 47-year-old who asked that only her first name be used, who vomited violently throughout all three of her pregnancies, but had particularly severe HG with her second in 1991. She had to carry around a bucket for her spit because she threw up every time she swallowed. More than 20 years later, she can still recall how she would dry heave for 15 minutes at a stretch, breaking all of the blood vessels in and around her eyes. Or how she’d sit helplessly with her head over a bucket, letting her saliva stream down so she wouldn’t have to throw up again.

“I don’t think anyone truly understands it unless they live it or live with a woman who has it,” Robyn said. “It’s really impossible for a woman without complications to comprehend the turmoil we live through.”

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

3 weeks ago

on

March 19, 2026

By

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

3 weeks ago

on

March 19, 2026

By

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

Published

1 month ago

on

March 11, 2026

By

There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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