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What to consider when raising kids in informal settlements

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Residing in an informal settlement has its perks and dark moments. Many are times when calamities have occurred and affected dwellers of informal settlements negatively. This is not to say that only informal settlements are affected by calamities, rather, the response mechanism of these areas is not well-equipped. This takes its toll on the well being of the dwellers specifically parents who find it challenging to keep their children safe during such a situation.

Apart from natural disaster, like fire and floods which are often hard to mitigate in such areas, children are exposed to all types of people. Among them well-meaning and others, not so much. In such cases, it can be hard for children to discern the two.

Moreover, they say bad company corrupts good morals and the informal settlement provides a set up that has no limits when it comes to interactions. For this reason, children can pick up certain bad traits from their peers who may have been exposed to such given their upbringing in such areas which are known to rife with violence and crime.

SEE ALSO: Do you know the signs of child abuse? 7 telltale signs

Even though the primary goal of parenthood is providing for their offspring. Making sure the child is safe and grows up with a balanced mental wellness should also be a priority on the list. This is because most children who experience any type of trauma in their childhood struggle socially as adults.

The following tips could help you keep your child safe as they grow up in the informal settlements.

Photo by Melissa Askew / Unsplash

Monitor your child’s moods

Through talking to your child everyday about their interests and how their day went, you will notice any sudden changes in their personality. Children who have experienced any form of assault; physical or sexual, tend to exhibit withdrawal symptoms.

Parents who notice this sudden change in their children should investigate thoroughly and corrective measures put in place with immediate effect.

Set boundaries for your child

Teach your child from a tender age to differentiate what is acceptable and what isn’t. This will help a child raise alarm if mishandled in any manner. Make sure to reinforce these norms as the child grows so they are not unwary and instead accepting of any form of abuse, even on the playground.

Let your child know that even if an adult in charge of them or a relative crosses a certain boundary, they are free to report to you in secrecy. Trust your child when they raise an alarm about an abuse of any kind.

Leave them in the care of a trusted adult

Leaving a child unattended renders them vulnerable. It is therefore important to seek the services of trustworthy adult to care for your children in your absence. Make sure to enforce rule #1 no matter how much you trust the adult in question. In case it proves difficult to obtain help, enroll the child to helpful programs that will keep them safe while at the same time developing their character.

How to choose a daycare centre for your child
Daycare centres make it easy for parents to work without worrying about the safety of their children

Arrive home in good time

Try to balance your work and family life so that you can be more present. Therefore,getting home in good time allows you to interact with your child thus allowing you to take note of their personality development and any sudden changes that may be arising. Getting home in good time will also allow you the pleasure of bathing your child if they are at that age. Make sure to be keen on any wincing and dark marks on their bodies.

Making time for your child boosts their self image. It makes them feel valued, therefore they are likely to live free of cravings for validation.

Be intentional with their discipline and development

As previously mentioned, informal settlements present an unpredictable environment for a child. This is likely to impact their development and discipline. During a child’s interaction with neighbours and other children, a child will learn negative mannerism that should be checked with immediate effect. For instance a child may start using abusive language and changing their personality according to what they have observed.

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In this exciting issue, we catch up with TV and radio host Anthony Ndiema and his wife Nenoh Ndiema as they get up close and candid on their marriage and their parenting journey. The two open up on their bumpy start to finally finding stability in a way that you don’t want to miss! Elsewhere, we go …

As a parent, ensure this behaviour does not continue any longer. Be keen on the child’s development as well to counter the laxity that could be the norm in the neighbourhood. Growing up in the informal settlement should not be something your child carries around as badge of honour in their indiscipline. Besides, they will grow up and indiscipline will not have a place in their lives

It is important as a parent to be the first role model for your child. Watch your language whenever speaking to anyone in your child’s presence. Disciplining your child with love. This  will improve their learning rate while at the same time maintaining the relationship between you and your child.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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