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What not to say to someone struggling to conceive

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One in eight couples experience challenges with fertility and there might be numerous people around you that are going through infertility without your knowledge. This is why conversations around having children need to be handled with tact and empathy. On that note, here is what not to say when talking to someone struggling with conception.

‘Adoption is always an option’

The issue with this proposition is dual: it minimizes the emotional, logistical and financial adoption process and implies that adopting is just a back-up plan for people who cannot have children. Adopting is a good thing, but leave it for them to decide. Do not offer adoption as a Plan B just because you assume their plan A failed.

‘You know, it could be worse!’

We have the best intentions for our families and friends who are having trouble getting pregnant, but saying this does not do them any good. You are just diminishing their fertility struggles and anguish. You should know that you cannot compare anguish because their process might be stressful and painful. Validating their feelings however, is a great way to go about it.

‘You can just have mine’

Jokingly offering one of your kids to a person struggling with infertility is insensitive. You are essentially making light of the situation and making them feel as if their parenting dreams do not matter.

‘It could be that you are not cut out for parenting’

Whatever your intentions may be, this is one of those phrases that you should refrain from voicing out.  It is insensitive and cruel to tell a person that they are not meant to be parents and to just cut their losses and move on.

‘Just chill’

Chilling is definitely not what someone who wants children is doing. They are actively trying to find solutions to their problem and actively worrying about why it is not working out. While this comment may be out of good will, it places blame on the individual trying to conceive. They cannot relax their way into a successful conception just because you said so.

‘A vacation may do you good’

Suggesting that what is likely a medical problem may be solved with relaxation in Kilifi or the Maldives is not ideal. It is a slap in the face to most people who want children, but are not able to. While it is healthy to take some time off from treatments and all the pressure, a vacation will not exactly solve their problem.

‘Consider trying this…’

You might mean well but exercise tact when giving suggestions regarding this issue. Knowing their struggle, the couple trying to conceive has probably already tried almost everything under the sun. So, suggesting that they change their diet because you heard it on the news or heard that it worked for another person is not ideal.

Keep in mind…

Unless someone comes to you for advice, it is always best to keep these ideas to yourself and not intrude on sensitive topics. It is better to allow them to reach out first, and even then, remember to be sensitive to their experience

READ ALSO: Things you should never say to a mother who has lost a baby

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Heartbreak as Body of 12-Year-Old Blessed Claire Muthoni Arrives Home from India

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Kenyans are mourning the loss of Blessed Claire Muthoni, a brave 12-year-old girl from Kihuri in Othaya, Nyeri County, who passed away while undergoing specialised cancer treatment in New Delhi. Claire had been fighting stage 4 cancer for over three years.

The aggressive disease took a heavy toll on her young body, eventually leading to the amputation of one of her legs. Despite the pain and the many challenges she faced, Claire remained hopeful and courageous throughout her journey, inspiring many who followed her story.

On January 19, 2026, she travelled to India with her mother in search of advanced treatment aimed at saving her remaining leg and managing the cancer that had spread to her lungs. The journey was filled with hope, supported by Kenyans from all walks of life who contributed towards her treatment and kept her in their prayers.

A brave fight

While in India, Claire underwent several chemotherapy sessions. Unfortunately, her condition worsened after developing complications, leading to her admission to the Intensive Care Unit. She passed away in hospital last week, leaving behind a grieving family and a nation that had stood with her.

On Monday, March 30, 2026, her remains arrived at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport. The atmosphere at the airport was filled with grief as family members, friends and well-wishers gathered to receive her. Her mother returned home alone, carrying a loss no parent should have to endure.

Claire will be laid to rest in her home area of Othaya in the coming days, as her family begins the difficult process of saying their final goodbyes.

Her story touched thousands across the country, many of whom followed her journey through updates and fundraising efforts. She became a symbol of strength and resilience, and her passing has deeply affected those who had hoped to see her recover.

Beyond the grief, her story has once again brought attention to the challenges families face when dealing with childhood cancer in Kenya. The high cost of specialised treatment, limited access to advanced care locally, and the emotional and financial strain on families often force many to seek treatment abroad.

Read our March issue here 

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Cover Story

Heartbreak as Body of 12-Year-Old Blessed Claire Muthoni Arrives Home from India

Published

on

Kenyans are mourning the loss of Blessed Claire Muthoni, a brave 12-year-old girl from Kihuri in Othaya, Nyeri County, who passed away while undergoing specialised cancer treatment in New Delhi. Claire had been fighting stage 4 cancer for over three years.

The aggressive disease took a heavy toll on her young body, eventually leading to the amputation of one of her legs. Despite the pain and the many challenges she faced, Claire remained hopeful and courageous throughout her journey, inspiring many who followed her story.

On January 19, 2026, she travelled to India with her mother in search of advanced treatment aimed at saving her remaining leg and managing the cancer that had spread to her lungs. The journey was filled with hope, supported by Kenyans from all walks of life who contributed towards her treatment and kept her in their prayers.

A brave fight

While in India, Claire underwent several chemotherapy sessions. Unfortunately, her condition worsened after developing complications, leading to her admission to the Intensive Care Unit. She passed away in hospital last week, leaving behind a grieving family and a nation that had stood with her.

On Monday, March 30, 2026, her remains arrived at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport. The atmosphere at the airport was filled with grief as family members, friends and well-wishers gathered to receive her. Her mother returned home alone, carrying a loss no parent should have to endure.

Claire will be laid to rest in her home area of Othaya in the coming days, as her family begins the difficult process of saying their final goodbyes.

Her story touched thousands across the country, many of whom followed her journey through updates and fundraising efforts. She became a symbol of strength and resilience, and her passing has deeply affected those who had hoped to see her recover.

Beyond the grief, her story has once again brought attention to the challenges families face when dealing with childhood cancer in Kenya. The high cost of specialised treatment, limited access to advanced care locally, and the emotional and financial strain on families often force many to seek treatment abroad.

Read our March issue here 

Continue Reading

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Shock as Section of Gikomba Shoe Market Demolished Overnight

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Traders at Nairobi’s bustling Gikomba Market are counting heavy losses after a section of the popular shoe market (mitumba shoe section) was demolished overnight by Nairobi City County enforcement teams. The operation took place in the early hours of Tuesday morning.

Videos and photos circulating on social media show destroyed merchandise and devastated traders who arrived at the market this morning to find their businesses in ruins. According to reports, the county government carried out the demolition after an eviction notice lapsed. This happened even though the High Court (Environment and Land Court) had earlier issued and extended conservatory orders in March 2026, halting mass demolitions and evictions at Gikomba and surrounding areas along the Nairobi River.

Repeated demolitions

Demolitions at Gikomba are not new. As far back as 1977, the original market was brought down by the government to pave the way for light industries. In recent years, attention has shifted to the riparian land along the Nairobi River, with authorities proposing to expand the buffer zone from 30 metres to 50 metres in a bid to control flooding.

Many traders have raised concerns over what they describe as poor consultation, shifting relocation plans and the lack of a clear and secure alternative site. There are also growing fears that the process could open the door to land grabbing and cartel involvement.

Impact

For most traders at Gikomba, the market is more than just a place of business. It is their only source of livelihood. Repeated fires and demolitions have created a cycle of uncertainty, financial strain and constant rebuilding. Many small business owners say they struggle to recover after each loss, only to face another setback months later.

Calls for improved fire safety measures, fair relocation plans and meaningful engagement with authorities continue to grow louder. Without long term and sustainable solutions, Gikomba traders will continue to bear the high cost of operating in one of Nairobi’s busiest yet most vulnerable markets.

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