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Transitioning from one child to two

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The first few weeks after delivering your second child are a roller coaster of emotions. Healing from delivery, caring for your toddler and a newborn, battling sleep deprivation, attending to your husband’s needs and your needs are among other things that make the transition difficult.

Image source: ebonymagazine.com

You’ll never be fully prepared for the bumpy transition from hip easy-going mum of one kid to a hedgy mum of two. It’s okay. You’ll soon learn how to manage all these and multi-task to cater for the needs of your kids. The journey is never easy but along the way you will learn how to juggle. Here are some tips to ensure you have a smooth transition.

Embracing your postpartum body
You are highly likely to experience changes in your body after childbirth. Some of the postpartum changes are permanent while others take a short period of time to disappear. Here are postpartum changes to look out for after delivery.

1.Create a routine

With a set schedule, you and your kids know what to expect and have something to look forward to each day. Children easily adapt to and thrive on routines. Chances are, you already have a routine with your first child.

Image Source: mom.com

If possible, please maintain it. Nap, meal and bed times should stay constant to provide a sense of stability to your older child who by now feels neglected. Have the goal of getting your children on the same nap, bedtime and meal schedule.This may take time but once it happens, you’ll feel so much relief.

New routines for your infant should also be integrated in your family’s daily life.

Don’t just set routines for others. Create one for yourself because you need care too. Set a day for your laundry, pedicure, cleaning the house and grocery shopping.

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It can be challenging for moms-to-be to find a maternity outfit that is fitting, comfortable and stylish. Here are tips on when and what to shop for.

2.Take time to know your baby

Babies are different as is everyone. Chances are they won’t behave exactly like their older sibling. Whatever worked for the first one may not work on the new one and vice versa. Getting to know them helps in knowing how to handle them and even getting a schedule that works for them.

Image source undarkmag.com

Be open-minded and understand that each child has a different way in which they operate.

3. Shower and dress

Your kids are usually clean, well fed and have a set time to rest. You are no less important than your kids. Find time to take a shower and even wear nice clothes. While it’s tempting to walk in sweat pants and pajamas all day, dressing up once in a while will leave you feeling confident, in control and at ease. Don’t forget yourself.

Stolen one-month-old baby reunited with his mother
The suspect had met the baby’s mother in hospital days before she delivered.

4. Get all the help you can

There is no award for the solo mom of the year. If getting a nun works for you get one if you can afford two get them. Don’t push away your spouse. Asking for extra support from them should be communicated. They don’t always realize you need it. Speak to them in a way that makes them understand their support is important. It even gives them time to bond with the older sibling.

Image source; babycentre.com

However, don’t always put your spouse in charge of the oldest. Encourage him to get his one-on-one time with your newborn as you bond with your first-born.

7 unexpected pregnancy side effects
If you are wondering why your mummy pouch doesn’t seem to go away even after intense exercises, Diastasis recti could be the reason.

5. Assure your first-born that you haven’t forgotten about them

Bringing in a new baby in the family is the same feeling a first wife feels when told wife number two is coming. They are there to stay forever. Everything that was yours becomes hers too. It’s almost the same for older siblings.

Image source; babychick.com

They need reassurance that their mum will always make time for them. Spare like 15 minutes to spend with your first-born. Allow them to be a baby. They may revert to baby-like tendencies and its okay. It makes them feel better.

6.Don’t forget your spouse

Plan a weekly date night so you and your spouse can spend time together away from the kids and the house. You can also stay at home and save some time to catch up with your spouse.

Featured Image Source; Motherly

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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