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Tips to help you stay married

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If you thought getting married is a task,staying married is the work. It has often been said that dating shows you the good in your partner while marriage shows you the good, the bad and the ugly. As a result, some people enter into marriage only to find surprises that they did not anticipate.

Getting past these surprises and staying married requires commitment and intentionality on the part of the couple. If your marriage is not going well for whatever reason, you may want to read on.

Pursue self-awareness

The problem with most of us is that we want to know all about the world while knowing so little of ourselves. To have a good marriage, begin with self knowledge. When you are self aware, you are able to show empathy to your spouse. You would be surprised how many conflicts you would avoid just by being self aware.

Photo by Drew Coffman / Unsplash

Learn, Unlearn and Relearn

Marriage is one of the many mysteries of life. So if you feel like you haven’t figured it out yet,you are not alone because no one has figured it out. Marriage is a learning process from the first day to the last. Therefore, make a deliberate choice to learn, unlearn and relearn.

SEE ALSO: Dear Newly Weds, you don’t need visitors in your house

Recognize the uniqueness of marriage

Marriages are personal. You can be sure that the challenges you and your spouse face are not the same ones faced by the other couple. Similarly, the needs of a marriage differ from one couple to the other. Do not compare your marriage with that of another couple.

Marriage is  between two people. Getting in sync with each other takes time, determination, an open heart, and a sensitive touch. You have to be willing to stay through the process without allowing external pressure to distract you.

Cultivate qualities that make your marriage work

While every marriage is unique, there are certain qualities that are common in all successful marriages as listed below:

Trust; Your marriage space is sacred and private. No-one should come between the two of you. Not children,parents,inlaws,friends,cousins….name it; nothing

Restraint; Temptation to sin will surely come so be there for each other to help resist temptation and remain true.

Intimacy; Plan and work diligently to maintain romance. in your marriage.

Priorities. Do not loose site of each other even when the children’s come along and tides of time abound; remember in the end it will always be the two of you

Difference. Respect respect each other’s differences, and know that difference lends interest.

Communication. Speak up and communicate your needs, likes, dislikes, agreements, and disagreements.

Fairness. Always play fair. No double standards.

Respect. This is demonstrated.

Emotion; Get mad at each other sometimes and fight when necessary; we are human. The day you stop fighting is the day there is nothing left to fight for.

Reconnection. Never go to bed angry with each other. Process your feelings, express them and let it go.

Humor. Having a sense of humor helps.

Gratitude. Be so glad to be together, and say so.

Truthfulness. Do not lie. If you have to say something that might be hard for one for the other to hear, tell the truth, and  try to say it gently and clearly so that the other person can hear it.

Sensitivity.  know where the buttons are and be careful not to push them.

Persistence. Staying married takes time, determination, and hard work.

Forgiveness. Forgive your partner and forgive yourself too.

Teamwork. Help each other grow.

Conclusion

Some young couples fooled by the of dating, enter into marriage thinking that things will just flow. When things start going wrong they start wondering how people manage to stay married for so long. The truth is the only way to stay married is recognize that marriage involves work and be willing to invest in your marriage.

Featured Image: QuotesGram

The art of being a submissive wife with Antony & Nenoh Ndiema -June covershoot |Parents Magazine|
Parents magazine Cover models for the June issue: Radio and TV host Antony Ndiema and his wife, a gospel musician Nenoh Ndiema open up about their parenting …

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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