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The truth behind waist beads and why women wear them

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When I was young, people who spotted dreadlocks were generally considered to be thieves and weed smokers. In fact, if you brought a friend whose head was merely shaggy home, your irate parents would tell you your thieving friend might make away with the family TV set.

Now grown and spotting some locks myself, I know, more than anything that I do not steal, neither do I smoke weed. At least not yet.

All these stereotypes arose because of misinformation. When people do not understand something, they come up with alternative explanations to fill in the gaps. Waist beads have been subjected to the kind of misinformation dread locks were subjected to back then – being associated with witchcraft and promiscuity among other diabolical allegations. But there is a more, culture-rich tradition behind them.

The truth behind waist beads

When a maiden was approaching marriage back in the days, she was assigned a chaperon – an aunt or an elderly woman- who became her mentor in matters marriage. The classes covered a range of things, from keeping her house clean to whipping up mind-blowing cuisines.

The chaperon also doubled up a sexpert who taught and guided her in bedroom matters. Such a person was referred to as ‘kungwi’ or ‘somo’ in the coast where this practice is rampant, and ssenga among the Baganda. Once a maiden completed her classes in some communities, she was awarded her first set of waist beads by her Kungwi. Other times her husband-to-be sent the waist beads prior to her wedding, and her kungwi would teach her how to use them before the wedding night. He would later on add more to the collection as he deemed fit.

Unlike today, a woman’s waist beads, how many they were, which one she wore and what they looked like was a heavily guided secret, only known to her and her husband. In fact, baring them for all to see would have earned you the beating of a lifetime from your grandmothers and elderly women.

Bead colour and meaning

The waist beads also served as coded messages between spouses. Just by looking at the waist beads, the husbands would know whether their wives were ready to get down, had their menses or needed a shave. The red waist beads aptly denoted menses, the white beads were a green light for action and the black meant she needed to have her hair shaved.

Why do women wear them these days?

Most women wear waist beads because, why not? They hardly adhere to the set codes, let alone knowing of their existence.  Still, some are more specific in their need for waist beads, and their reasons include the following:

To keep the waist line and weight in check – They denote weight gain and loss. If they become too tight, perhaps it is time to hit the gym. If they become loose, you are losing weight and inches of your waist line. If you add weight, the beads ride high up the belly, if you lose weight, they may descend low to the hips. Most women remove the beads when they are expectant.

Accessories – Some people wear waist beads just like you would a necklace, a bangle or those beaded Kenya flag bracelets. It is just an accessory to them. It is alleged that they help maintain a good figure by accentuating the waist and curves.

Sexual charm – Some women swear by the waist beads’ ability to make sex better, what with their friction and just the fact that they look good on the waist. The kungwis taught their wards how to use the beads to initiate and promote intimacy in the bedroom. This is perhaps the reason why they are believed to be worn by promiscuous women.

The next time you see a woman in a waist bead, do not immediately rush to your nearest stereotype.

 

 

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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