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The problem with our small dreams

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This is my last send off to you this year, dear brothers, and I am happy US President Barrack Obama has given me something to write about, just like Hurricane Sandy gave him a lucky bounce in the campaigns.

Now he is president; and I am inspired. Brothers, I have spent more than 100 hours since the Republican primaries began followed by the campaigns up to the election, poring over material from international and local newspapers as well as the Internet about the US presidential campaigns. When the debates between Mitt Romney and Barrack Obama came last month, I woke up well before 4am each time to watch the debates. I almost spent a whole night on November 6 in front of the television, watching US presidential election results trickle in. I sat jubilantly as Obama gave his acceptance speech on November 7 and boy, what a speech! But now that the election is over, my mind has refused to settle.

I am happy for Obama, but I think I have spent too much time thinking about the dreams of one man. Why was I so eager to know what Obama said in Ohio, Iowa, Virginia and Chicago, places I have never been to, and about things that do not concern me the least? And I have not been alone. Majority of my colleagues, and we are over a thousand, have been following Obama’s campaign for a second term in office, as if it was a local affair. And now I ask, how many of us have a reason to stay awake to listen to any of our Kenyan presidential aspirants make a speech? But still, that is not what has been bothering me since Obama won a second term. My problem has been with myself. Look at it this way brother; Obama is just a man, not any different from any man I have come across, not any different from you and me as far as our abilities are concerned. But why is it possible that Obama has something that keeps me awake half a night while I have nothing that can keep him awake for an hour? Why is it that Obama’s dream moves the world yet many of our dreams do not even stir a family, leave alone a village? As I thought about this issue brother, I got one idea that could be part of the answer.

Selflessness! Most of the time our dreams are about how to build my house, buy my car, get my degree, own my business, make a lot of money for myself, and so on. It is always about me, myself and I. Obama on the other hand dreams and works for a better and fairer world for all Americans. In fact, he visualises a better world for us all. That is why his campaign stirs all of us. The guy does not do it for his wife and their two daughters only, but for all Americans regardless of their race. In addition, Obama kept me awake waiting for his speech because his dream is so big it petrifies many. How does a black guy from a broken family aspire to lead the world’s greatest super power? Right from 2008 his dream was, to say the least, improbable. It was bigger than the man himself. And in 2012 we all wanted to see whether the man could do it again, to win a race that had all the odds against him. And he did it. The reason anyone, Obama included, will not keep awake to read the story of my dreams is because they are usually too small. To build a house, to buy a second hand Toyota 110, to take my daughter to a private school, really?

Can’t I dream of building one million houses for the poor or ensuring all girls, not only my daughter, get a decent education? That is our shortcoming fellow men. We dream too small and selfishly. And our dreams… who can’t buy a second hand car for Christ’s sakes? Well, I remember the last time I wrote on this forum it was still about the Obamas. That tells you how little there is to learn from my own life. But I think we can do better brothers. We can dream so big that the world looks at us in awe. We can aim so high that the moment we go aloft everyone follows us up in admiration. We can do it for humanity and for mother earth. When you sit down to make your New Year resolutions, just resolve never to entertain small dreams. Actually, the story of Obama teaches us that if we go for the big dream, the small ones tend to get solved without a sweat too. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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