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Stuff Learnt from 2013…

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I, as I hope you have too, have learnt a whole lot of stuff in 2013. In my life and in my dreams it really was the year that stuff sang loud and clear, doubt was obliterated by faith, and I woke up to a happier, simpler way of being. Without further ado I present my top ten stuffs learnt because, well, that’s what I’m here to do!

10. Ask

And you really shall receive. So simple, yet so overlooked and understated that it bears repeating; all you have to do is ask. For what you want, for what you desire. For what you need, for what you love. For that job, for that house, for that date, or for that dress. Sure you can try waiting, hinting, speculating or wishing, but nothing beats simply asking. Just remember: “Your needs are the vocation of angels.” – Danielle LaPorte.

There is, however, a slight catch. You have to ask with all your heart, all your will, and all the belief of truly deserving you can generate.

 9. Believe in signs

 It’s how your angels, God, the universe, destiny, or whatever/whomever you believe in, communicates. Your signs are everywhere, and come in a multitude of forms; they maybe unmistakable siren songs or just the slightest hint of doubt. You just have to open your heart to see them.

 8. Make space

For light, for change, for fresh air to refresh, for new beliefs, for sparks of genius, for love, for rest, for clarity, for brand spanking new goodies and experiences. Things don’t just show up in your life, you have to be open and ready to receive them.

Though, to be ready, to make space, you usually have to…

7. Throw out the rubbish

 Haven’t used it in the last year? Get rid of it. This especially counts for long held beliefs, invaluable, repetitive thoughts and meaningless rituals. When in doubt throw it out.

 6. Certainty is an illusion

 So don’t bother chasing it. Learning to embrace uncertainty is where true freedom lies. Speaking of uncertainty…

 5. Learn how to trust

 In guidance, in love, in kindness, in signs (see #9), in other people, and, ultimately, in yourself. Because…

4. Truth always reveals itself

In time, in dreams, in heavy sighs and empty glances. In burning desires, bitter after-tastes and peaceful acceptance. In how things are, as opposed to how things should be. Mind you, I’m not talking about the truth, your truth or someone’s truth, but Truth.

By the way, Truth can only, only, be found in your heart, not your mind. It is never ‘thought’, it is always ‘felt’.

Speaking of which…

3. Know how you want to feel

So you can live the life you want to live. You have infinite possibilities and there is no right or wrong way to feel. You may think you don’t know what you want, but at any given moment you certainly know how you want to feel. Not how you should feel; there are no ‘shoulds’ when it comes to feelings, only feelings alone. Still not sure what feelings you truly desire? Pinpoint those you absolutely do not want to encounter and then run in the opposite direction.

One more thing about desired feelings; get specific. ‘I want to feel happy’ is great, but what does ‘happy’ feel like to you? Exciting? Jubilant? Peaceful? Secure? To find your happy only you can define what it feels like.

2. Compassion wins

Always. Period.

1. Allow yourself to be seen

And embrace the power of vulnerability. Find the courage to Dare Greatly*.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt, “Citizenship in a Republic” speech, also referred as “The Man in the Arena,” given at the Sorbonne in Paris, France, on April 23, 1910.

Bonus!

Just Breath. As in stop what you’re doing, be still and take a deep breath, filling your lungs with deliciously crisp oxygen, and releasing all that gunk clogging your airways. It can and does make all the difference.

(*By far my favorite book of the year is ‘Daring Greatly’ by Brene Brown. Find a copy. Read it. Live it.)

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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