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Reds, Blues, and Toffees: A football lesson

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Let’s talk football.

Look, I know most women don’t like football-and that mostly, this comes from a point of (blissful)ignorance. You just don’t understand why grown men get paid to chase after leather. So, let me help you decipher this mystery;

Different leagues, different teams

Manchester United, Arsenal and Chelsea, all belong to the English Premier League. There are other leagues, like La Liga, which is the Spanish league, and the league in which giants like Barcelona and Real Madrid belong. Bayern Munich, RB Leipzig and Borussia Dortmund play in the German league, Bundesliga.

Finally, Inter Milan, Roma and Juventus play in the Italian league Serie A, while famous French team Paris-Saint-Germain, where Kylian Mbappe and Neymar play, belongs to the French league, Ligue 1.

These are the most famous leagues, though there are others, like the Chinese Super League, where promising English players are shipped off to in exchange for bodacious salaries. Yes, one of my favourite players went and the wound is still very raw,3 years later.

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Team organisation

Contrary to what most ladies think, football is not about  just chasing leather around. There is an elaborate process in which its done, which is why teams have captains.

On the pitch, each team has 11 players, who play in different positions, which have distinct roles. The most commonly known position is that of a goalkeeper, but every other player has a specific role to play, and those random numbers on the back of their shirts are indicative of the distinct roles.

For example, a number 3 is a defender, while a 9 is a striker. So whilst a defender may score a goal, he or she is not obligated to, because a defender’s main role is to make sure the opponents do not find the back of the net. They assist the goalkeeper to achieve this, which is why they are positioned near the goalpost.

Teams also have coaches and managers. These are the Jose Mourinhos, Jurgen Klopps, Arsene Wengers and  Alex Fergusons.

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Derbys

Some team rivalries go way back. Extra loyal fans, established and longstanding careers equals rivalry. Most of these teams hail from the same towns, like Manchester United and Manchester City.

For example, a  match between Arsenal and Tottenham is referred to as the “North London Derby“, as they both come from North London. Likewise, the famous “El Classico” refers to the match between rivals Real Madrid and Barcelona. In the Kenyan Premier League(KPL),we have the Mashemeji Derby, which is only used to reference a match between Gor Mahia and AFC Leopards.

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Nicknames

“Come on, Gunners!” No, we are not cheering the army, just Arsenal. Nicknames are a big part of football, and have been established over a period of time. You don’t just wake up and decide to call Arsenal “sleeping giants”.

Manchester United are undisputedly called ”Red Devils”, a testament to their heritage as the most successful English club and their red jerseys. ”The Reds” refer to Liverpool, “The Blues” to Chelsea, “The Citizens” to ManCity, “The Old Lady” to Juventus, “The Gunners” to Arsenal, and “The Bavarians” to Bayern Munich.

Do not confuse them. If you haven’t mustered them, then avoid using them. There’s nothing worse than trying to pass off as an avid fan only to mess up the nicknames.

Finally, in light of the recent changes in the EPL table, Everton is referred to as “The Toffees.”

May this lesson be of great help to you, and reduce the fights you ladies love  picking every Saturday night. Football is in every way possible, absolutely interesting.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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