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Patience does pay

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Playing hard to get is an age-old technique that can either end well or awfully. Luckily for Judith and James Gitonga, it culminated in the altar. They share with STEVEN OBUDO their story of patience and of the straw that finally broke the camel’s back

“If it’s truly yours, it will always find its way back to you,” is a statement as old as time that rings true for James Gitonga, 27, and Judith Wavinya, 25. James and Judith met in 2013 while in Moi University. James, a tour consultant, recalls being enamored by Judith, an entrepreneur, on first sight.

“I was the pianist for the Christian Union, and I saw her when she joined the union. It was love at first sight,” James recalls.

“For you!” Judith, who was one year behind him, interjects strongly to clarify.

She simply wasn’t interested in a relationship – at least not while in campus. Fortunately for her, James was apprehensive about approaching her and he thus buried his feelings, only getting close to her under the guise of a platonic relationship. It took him nearly two years to make his intentions known.

Even then, he was cautious. “I confided in her that I had feelings for a certain girl, but I was not sure if she felt the same way. I hoped it would be a way to tell her about my feelings,” says James admitting that he was under the impression she liked his best friend more, which Judith refutes.

Despite James thinking he was being discreet; Judith knew that he was talking about her. “I gave the impression that I was oblivious to the fact, but I had also realised that I had also developed feelings for him over time,” she confesses.

Nonetheless, her conviction to stay out of relationships was so strong, so much so that even when James finally got the courage to say that the girl he had feelings for was her, she rejected his advances. Disappointed, James let the matter rest but kept in touch when he went to Columbia, in US for work for a year.

In October 2015, with two months remaining on his contract, James was offered a contract extension and was seriously considering taking up the offer. On sharing the news with Judith, panic set in at the thought of losing her love interest. This would prompt her to make her feelings known, if anything, just to put it out there.

 

Love brewed on YouTube
For lovebirds David, 38, and Sabrina Ramogi, 29, theirs is a journey that started with a YouTube video. They share with STEVEN OBUDO the story of their unique meet-up and how divine help played into their love story.

 

“That was all it took for me to cancel all contract talks and serve out the remaining months of my contract before returning to Kenya to be with Judith,” he says.

The lovebirds, however, term the transition period from friends to lovers as turbulent as they would argue over trivial things. It didn’t help that they worked in different towns. They eventually found their groove as a long-distance couple. Although many people steer clear of arguments, they intimate that their initial misunderstandings helped them develop a healthy relationship as they got to know each other better.

Things seemed to ease up further when they finally got to live in the same town where they met more often. In January 2019, James asked Judith to make an honest man out of him. The couple firmly believes that the timing had to be right even though they had intended to get married to each other from the get-go.

 

We found love at a prayer meeting
Robert Mwangi and Jane Waititu went for a prayer meeting in December 2016 not knowing they would come out on the other end having met their future spouse. They share with STEVEN OBUDO their journey to matrimony.

 

Even then, James had to particularly get the approval of Judith’s strict dad. Once they crossed that hurdle, wedding preparations were smooth sailing as family and friends catered for a big chunk of their budget. With the blessing of their families, the two finally tied the knot in June 2019.

As they look forward to marking their first-year anniversary, the happily married couple advocates for constant communication and continuously dating each other even when married.

“We also recommend pre-marital counselling for couples that are yet to get married to keep them accountable to their values,” they assert.

This article was first published in the March issue of Parents Magazine

 

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Commentator extraordinaire, Hassan Mwana Wa Ali graces our cover with his wife and son in our June issue. He takes us through his 10-year journey in the media industry, marriage life and his heart’s desire to mentor young people.

 

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When Church Romance Crosses Boundaries: Gospel Singer’s Acid Attack Sparks Questions

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The harmonies of gospel singer Mary Clare’s music were abruptly silenced this week, not by choice, but by a horrific act of violence. The 24-year-old Redemption Ministers choir member is now fighting for her life at Kenyatta National Hospital after an acid attack that has shocked families, communities, and religious institutions alike.

This attack has drawn attention to the wider issue of gender-based violence and the role of institutions in protecting vulnerable members.

A Calculated Act

On Tuesday, while commuting along Ngong Road, Mary Clare was ambushed by a man allegedly linked to her estranged partner. Witnesses report the assailant doused her face and upper body with acid before being stopped by members of the public and handed over to police. She sustained severe third-degree burns requiring intensive care and reconstructive surgery, leaving both physical and emotional scars.

Background Context

It is alleged that Mary Clare had a relationship with the suspect, who is married. Reports indicate that after years of financial and emotional support, Mary Clare decided to move on to someone else. Questions are now being raised about whether the church was aware of the relationship and what oversight, if any, was exercised regarding boundaries between members.

Missed Warning Signs

Mary Clare’s ordeal was preceded by months of stalking and harassment. She had previously filed an assault complaint in November 2025, yet the suspect continued to operate within her church and social circles. Even after incidents involving firearms and public intimidation, no permanent protective measures were put in place.

Experts caution that this reflects a broader challenge in some institutions, where victims may not always receive sufficient protection even when risks are evident.

Accountability and Reflection

The Lighthouse Ministers have suspended the suspect, who was a choir member, drawing both relief and scrutiny from the public. Observers note that religious institutions can play a key role in safeguarding members and preventing abuse, while communities and authorities must also respond proactively to red flags.

A Broader Crisis

Mary Clare’s story is part of a wider gender-based violence epidemic in Kenya. According to the 2025 Technical Working Group on GBV, roughly one in three women has experienced physical violence since age 15. Acid attacks, as in this case, are particularly cruel, aiming to disfigure and silence victims, and represent a stark call to action for families, communities, and institutions alike.

Moving Forward

For Mary Clare, recovery will be long and challenging. For families and communities, her story is a reminder that protection cannot wait until tragedy strikes. Churches, communities, and policymakers must act decisively to safeguard women, break cycles of abuse, and ensure that spaces meant for support do not become arenas of danger.

Mary Clare’s fight is not just her own, it is a call for society to confront the silence that allows violence to continue.

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When Church Romance Crosses Boundaries: Gospel Singer’s Acid Attack Sparks Questions

Published

on

The harmonies of gospel singer Mary Clare’s music were abruptly silenced this week, not by choice, but by a horrific act of violence. The 24-year-old Redemption Ministers choir member is now fighting for her life at Kenyatta National Hospital after an acid attack that has shocked families, communities, and religious institutions alike.

This attack has drawn attention to the wider issue of gender-based violence and the role of institutions in protecting vulnerable members.

A Calculated Act

On Tuesday, while commuting along Ngong Road, Mary Clare was ambushed by a man allegedly linked to her estranged partner. Witnesses report the assailant doused her face and upper body with acid before being stopped by members of the public and handed over to police. She sustained severe third-degree burns requiring intensive care and reconstructive surgery, leaving both physical and emotional scars.

Background Context

It is alleged that Mary Clare had a relationship with the suspect, who is married. Reports indicate that after years of financial and emotional support, Mary Clare decided to move on to someone else. Questions are now being raised about whether the church was aware of the relationship and what oversight, if any, was exercised regarding boundaries between members.

Missed Warning Signs

Mary Clare’s ordeal was preceded by months of stalking and harassment. She had previously filed an assault complaint in November 2025, yet the suspect continued to operate within her church and social circles. Even after incidents involving firearms and public intimidation, no permanent protective measures were put in place.

Experts caution that this reflects a broader challenge in some institutions, where victims may not always receive sufficient protection even when risks are evident.

Accountability and Reflection

The Lighthouse Ministers have suspended the suspect, who was a choir member, drawing both relief and scrutiny from the public. Observers note that religious institutions can play a key role in safeguarding members and preventing abuse, while communities and authorities must also respond proactively to red flags.

A Broader Crisis

Mary Clare’s story is part of a wider gender-based violence epidemic in Kenya. According to the 2025 Technical Working Group on GBV, roughly one in three women has experienced physical violence since age 15. Acid attacks, as in this case, are particularly cruel, aiming to disfigure and silence victims, and represent a stark call to action for families, communities, and institutions alike.

Moving Forward

For Mary Clare, recovery will be long and challenging. For families and communities, her story is a reminder that protection cannot wait until tragedy strikes. Churches, communities, and policymakers must act decisively to safeguard women, break cycles of abuse, and ensure that spaces meant for support do not become arenas of danger.

Mary Clare’s fight is not just her own, it is a call for society to confront the silence that allows violence to continue.

For more, click HERE to join our WhatsApp channel!

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Growing together: Strengthening bonds through shared learning

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Routine has a quiet way of settling in, wrapping itself around relationships until everything feels familiar, almost too familiar. Conversations begin to echo, plans repeat themselves, and what once felt exciting slowly drifts into predictability. Comfort is beautiful, yes, but left unchecked, it can blur into monotony.

Now imagine choosing differently; deciding, together, to break the pattern, to step beyond the usual and experience something unfamiliar side by side.

Okay, imagine signing up for a dance class, enrolling in a cooking workshop, or even starting to learn a new language. The simple act of being beginners together can spark a refreshing dynamic in your relationship and open doors to exciting possibilities.

The power of vulnerability

 

 

 

 

Learning a new skill isn’t just about mastering a craft or acquiring knowledge. It’s about embracing vulnerability.

When you tackle something new, you’re bound to make mistakes, stumble, and experience moments of doubt.

It’s in these moments that real connection happens. By supporting each other through frustration and celebrating even the smallest achievements, you learn to trust and depend on one another in ways that strengthen your bond.

Whether it’s laughing at a cooking disaster or getting lost in a new language together, the shared experiences of being imperfect build an emotional resilience that makes your connection deeper.

Building stronger bonds

 

Growing together isn’t just about improving your individual skills. It’s about growing as a unit. As you learn together, you begin to appreciate different aspects of each other.

Perhaps you admire how your partner or friend remains calm when facing a challenge, or how they encourage you even when you feel discouraged.

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Watching each other grow in different ways- whether it’s learning to play an instrument or mastering a new recipe-adds a new layer of admiration and respect.

These shared experiences make your relationship stronger and more resilient, turning what might have been a simple skill-building activity into an opportunity for mutual growth.

Fostering communication and patience

 

The process of learning new things together fosters invaluable communication.

As you navigate challenges and successes, you’ll discover more about each other’s thought processes, communication styles, and ways of handling setbacks.

It encourages open dialogue, whether you’re discussing how to improve a painting technique or negotiating the best way to divide tasks in a project.

Patience becomes an integral part of the journey as you both learn to support and understand one another’s needs. These moments of communication, cooperation, and patience not only help you grow individually but also create a solid foundation of trust and respect in your relationship.

A journey of shared growth

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In the end, it’s not just the skill you learn together that matters; it’s the memories and the emotional growth that come with it.

Years from now, you may not remember every step in your dance routine or how long it took to bake that perfect loaf of bread. But you’ll remember the laughter, the frustrations, and the joy of discovering something new side by side.

These moments of shared vulnerability and growth become the glue that binds relationships, giving you something solid to lean on through life’s ups and downs.

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Learning something new together reminds you that growth doesn’t just happen individually but when you face challenges, celebrate victories, and take the leap together. So the next time you find yourselves searching for a new experience, choose one that brings you closer. You may just find that the skill you learn is less important than the strength of your bond.

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