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Navigating the slippery slope with artificial lubricants

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When you are aroused, your vagina self-lubricates. This makes the overall experience a lot more fun. However, your body may produce less lubrication, prompting you to go for artificial ones. Read on to find your way around the artificial lubricants

The vagina naturally produces its own lubrication which facilitates sex. Sexual intercourse without lubrication can be very painful and therefore if your natural lubrication is not enough, you can use artificial lubricants also known as lube to make your sexual activity easier and more fun. We give you a rundown on the choices you have.

Natural vaginal lubrication

Your vaginal tissue is naturally moist. The Bartholin glands and the cervix provide secretions and fluid which keep your vagina lubricated. During arousal, the glands will produce more fluid to reduce the friction.

Occasionally, vaginal dryness is absolutely normal. You are however advised to seek medical assistance when you experience chronic vaginal dryness. This can be caused by menopause or conditions such as vaginal atrophy, a condition which usually happens after menopause.

Once you start aging, the tissues of your vagina become thin. Also, during and after menopause, your body will provide less oestrogen. This reduction will see you producing fewer moisturising secretions, leaving your vagina a little bit dry. Once you experience this, your vagina may need more lubrication to enable you enjoy your sex life. This is where the artificial lube comes in.

When to go for artificial lubricants

Whether you are having sexual intercourse with your partner or simply just masturbating on your own, you may need artificial lube to:

Decrease painful frictionEnhance your sexual arousal by stimulating the flow of blood to your vulvaJumpstart your body to produce its own lubricationCreate a more pleasurable and easier way to an orgasm through lubricating the clitoris

9 reasons why you have cramps but no period
It can be difficult to tell the exact reason for cramps that feel like a menstrual period but that does not mean one should dismiss the pain.

Change of taste during oralsHelp maintain the elasticity of your vaginal walls, keeping the skin softReduce the temporary vaginal dryness that comes with changes in hormonal levels during pregnancy and also after child birthReduce vaginal dryness that comes with menopauseBoost your vaginal lubrication after a long session of sexual intercourse with your partnerReduce or stop the pain or itching caused when the sensitive vaginal tissue becomes very dry

How to apply your lube effectively

While there isn’t a general right or wrong when it comes to the use of lube, the following are the general steps you can consider when you want to use your lubricant effectively.

Spread a towel or lesso on a surface you will use to prevent staining.

Warm up the lubricant to a more pleasurable temperature by rubbing it between your hands before use for seamless integration with your body parts.

Include it as part of foreplay to increase both your arousal and your partner’s.

How to deal with boredom in marriage
Going through this phase doesn’t mean that the marriage is doomed. It only means that more effort; time and energy needs to be invested in the marriage.

Apply your lube right before penetration.

Ensure both your vagina and vulva are sufficiently wet by being liberal during application.

Also, you might consider applying the lube to your partner’s penis or the sex toy you are using.

Keep checking how much lube you still have on as you go and reapply, as you need.

Always remember to start with small amounts, adjusting as you go.

This is the first part of a 2-part series on navigating the slippery slope with artificial lubricants. Check out part 2 here. If you love love, catch up with fun couples on our Couple Tag segment!

Disclaimer: This article first appeared on the November 2020 issue of Parents.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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