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Learning to trust your instincts

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We are told women have a sixth sense. I can vouch for that. What about you? How often do you follow your gut feeling? That knot or funny feeling in the stomach that tells you all will be well, or will not be well, if you follow that direction? I cannot even begin to narrate how many times I have followed my intuition and things turned out perfectly fine, and when I didn’t and things went horribly wrong.

Like the time my neighbour came to tell me he was selling his piece of land and from the urgency in his voice my gut feeling told me he needed money quickly and we should pursue the offer. We didn’t, or rather we delayed, and the next we heard was the property had gone for a song! Or the time my instinct told me the man I had just met was ‘the one’ and quickly dropped the relationship I was in at the time to pursue this new one – that man is my husband today.

But there is this classic recruitment everyone in our office still talks about. The short-listed candidates were three (one man and two women) and as the CEO was required to sit in the panel that was to make the final decision. Sure, the guy was the best candidate in terms of qualifications, experience, skills and presentation. But my gut feeling was telling me this guy was not right. I smelled trouble but couldn’t pinpoint where this was coming from. After hours of negotiating with the interviewing panel and even delaying the decision for more than one month I gave in. The gentlemen in the panel thought I was favouring the second placed candidate because she was a woman, but that wasn’t the reason – the man just gave me quivers.

Eventually we employed the guy – BIG mistake. Not only was he dishonest and lacking in many of the qualities we were looking for, especially teamwork, but he was also a drunkard who openly questioned our Christian values. When we didn’t confirm him, he swiftly moved to social media hiding under ‘anonymous’ with all kinds of allegations and abuses, perhaps hoping to destroy us. I still believe this man was on a mission, which failed miserably. If only I had trusted my instincts and overruled the interviewing panel! But it was a great lesson.

It is always a challenge to cultivate a strong sense of intuition and figure out when to listen to your instincts. Intuition clears your vision and steers you to the right target. It tells you the truth about how you can help yourself in physical, emotional and even sexual ways that your conscious mind could never tell you.

The solution to cultivating a strong sense of intuition lies in listening to your body’s signals. Sometimes your body senses threat or danger before your mind does. Your breathing or pulse rate may change, or you might feel a sudden chill on your skin when around certain people. Pay attention to whether you feel peaceful or prickly around others, and you will be able to make better decisions about whom you want to work with, befriend or trust.

Also learn to tune into subtle cues from your environment. When you are in the moment and focusing fully on the here and now, you can begin to pick up important cues – such as edginess in a guy you’re dating, or hidden tension between friends. Any environment will carry the energy of the people who are in it. If you pay attention to the quality of that energy, you will begin to sense what’s really going on there.

You should also learn how to challenge your hunches. Don’t trust your sixth sense blindly – question it and test its accuracy by running your gut instincts past trusted friends and family members. With intuition sometimes you are right and sometimes you are wrong. With practice, though, you will naturally gain a better sense of when to listen to your inner voice.

Honing your intuition can help you make better decisions, come up with more creative ideas and figure out whom or what to trust. It’s like having your own personal coach, bodyguard, think-tank and board of advisors, all rolled into one. Intuition helps you do things that are right for you rather than what someone else tells you to do. And that can help you live your life to the fullest.

So next time a creepy guy corners you in a conversation at a cocktail party or at a bus stop or in a matatu, and out of politeness you let yourself become a captive audience, you need to heed the prickly feelings you get talking to this guy and permanently excuse yourself, saying you need to use the restroom or get out of that matatu and wait for another one.

You may also be one of those people bored to tears with their job but stay on because it is a secure company with a good salary package and the name looks good on your resume. But the day you wake up and follow your hunches and accept an offer with a dynamic start-up because you sense this is going to be an exciting challenge may be the day your life will change for the better.

Or after weeks of searching for an apartment, you rent one that meets your budget, even though the place gives you a bad vibe. As much as you don’t want to, you keep looking because you feel vaguely uneasy walking around the neighbourhood by yourself. And you follow your gut feeling and move out, then the next week you read in the media about your former next-door neighbour having been robbed and raped.

Following your instincts could save your life or open doors you didn’t think existed, so learn when to trust your sixth sense.

Published in September 2014

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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