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Invest in self-defense and your children’s security

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You work so hard to provide the best for your family and must consider your personal security and that of your children as of utmost importance. You must invest in your own security and that of your family members to have peace of mind as you enjoy the fruits of your hard labour.

As we have stated on this column before, you need to take care of your own personal security before you can take care of your family’s security. You may want to take a self-defense class as this could become handy if attacked in the streets, or at home, or waylaid on your way home. A good self-defense class will help you spot criminals, move with confidence, and develop a greater awareness of situations that might be dangerous.

Although self-defense training can be effective, keep in mind that it needs to be updated on a regular basis. Therefore, you must make a decision to train regularly and learn new techniques. You should also know when to use self-defense and when not to. For example, confronted by an armed robber you will be stupid to throw a karate kick at him unless you are so good that the kick will disarm him.

You could also choose to be a licensed gun holder but this is a major personal and financial decision to make because owning a gun is expensive and involves many security checks to ensure you can carry a gun responsibly. You also need to learn how to shoot and ensure the gun’s safekeeping. Sometimes owning a gun can be a danger to yourself and your family if you don’t know how to use it and are not able to fully secure it.

Owning a gun also adds the risk that children could find it in your home, a discovery that could result in a tragic accident. Unless you are adequately well trained and you are prepared to shoot at an intruder or attacker, there’s really no good reason to be wielding a gun. Many people carry guns and yet they have no intention of ever using it. Considering that there are too many guns in the hands of the wrong people in our country, carrying a gun may not scare away attackers. So only carry one if you know how to use and are ready to use it when in danger.

Some people, especially women, think that carrying a knife or pepper spray is a good way to protect themselves, but these gadgets are unlikely to help you unless you are a highly skilled combatant, as the attacker can take the weapon away from you and then turn around and use it on you.

Security for your children…

From the time children are very young, they should be taught basic security procedures. Everyone should know how to get out of the house in case of a fire or another type of disaster. They should also know what to do incase they are involved in a vehicle accident. Your children should be taught to memorise your physical home address, including estate, street and house number, as well as your name and phone number at as young an age as possible. Some children only know their parents as ‘mum’ and ‘dad’ and where they live as ‘home.’ This information will not help a child who is lost or in some kind of trouble.

You also want to make sure that your children will not go off with anyone you have not sent to pick them up. Just to be extra careful, some parents may chose to have a family code word, so that no matter who comes to pick the children from school or anywhere else, they would wait for the code word, which you would have given to the person picking them in advance. You must teach your children to be very firm about this and never to accept to go with someone you have not authorised them to, even if it is someone they know.

You should also familiarise yourself with security procedures of places your children frequent outside your home, especially those of their school. Do your children know what to do incase of an emergency in their school building or in the school bus? Do they know a number they can call incase they need help? It may pay for you to engage a security company for your home whom you can also call incase of an emergency involving your children outside the house. Let your children memorise this number as one they can use to get help.

In addition when your children go to their friends homes for sleepovers, you should familiarise yourself with the environment there. Is there enough security in the home? Are children well supervised? Does the family have fierce dogs that could endanger your child’s life? Do they own a gun that could accidentally fall into the hands of the children? Do the parents drink excessively? Is there violence in the home? Do they allow their children to watch any programmes they wish on TV or violent video games that are forbidden in your home? It pays to ask lots of questions of other parents before you let your child stay over at their house. It best to be safe than sorry. If in doubt, you can always have your child’s friends come to your home where you control the security of the environment.

You should also be careful about what your children watch on TV and what they do online. You can control what your children watch on TV by using a child-control system. You should also discuss with your children what they should not post on Facebook, Tweeter and other social media. They must be aware of personal information about the family they should never disclose, such as physical address, where their parents work, items they have at home, or home security details.

Children may grumble about the ‘intrusion’ on their privacy when you discuss with them social media postings but make them aware that what they post now could come to haunt them in the future. An innocently posted nude picture or inappropriate language could seriously damage their chances of getting employment or gaining admission to college later in life. Children should be allowed to begin branding themselves in the media from the time they are old enough to go online, and protecting their online identity is a critical element of your job as a parent.

Parents should also think about how much information they place in the public domain about their children. There are parents who like to brag about their children and post their pictures, milestones, schools they attend and their performance on social media, and this could expose them in a dangerous way. Learn to protect your children by not exposing them to strangers. By accepting to share information with people you do not know well, you may be exposing your children unknowingly to predators or kidnappers.

You should also invest in an up-to-date identity kit for your children. The kit should be digital so it can be quite easily sent to law enforcement authorities or friends and relatives should anything happen to your child. The kit should include a recent digital photo, a copy of the child’s passport or any other identification papers, and a description of him or her.

Remember children are vulnerable and at great risk all the time. They can be kidnapped for a ransom, or sold to childless couples, or into the sex trafficking trade. A child does not need to be a runaway or part of a street family to be kidnapped. They can be taken away from school, on their way to school, while playing outside your home or when being driven home.

Parents should make their children aware of the dangers that face them, of course without scaring them. Teenage children are exposed to more danger as they move around much more independently than younger children and, therefore, can be targeted. You will need to teach them to be alert, trust their instincts, and avoid dangerous situations. If you can take your children to self-protection classes where they can be taught personal security measures and self-defense, it would be worth the price you pay.

Published in Jan 204

 

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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