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I weep for the boy child

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Editor in Chief

Picture this. It’s a beautiful Sunday morning. I have driven to Githunguri town in Kiambu County to join other worshippers at the local Anglican Church and thereafter represent my husband in a fundraising for the construction of a new church to replace the old one currently in use. The small church is overflowing with enthusiastic congregants worshipping in song and dance and giving their all to ensure success of this function. But I can’t help noticing how few the men are, especially the youth. Where are they?

Fast-forward four hours. It’s around two in the afternoon. I am driving back to Nairobi after accomplishing my mission. I notice the town, which was sleepy in the morning when I drove through, has woken up. It’s teeming with people – women and children coming from church, traders selling their wares, and young men loitering the streets.

Then I notice cars avoiding some obstacle on the road. It’s a man. Oh no! He looks dead. I think it’s an accident. But why are people not stopping to help him? I get closer prepared to be the Good Samaritan – am from church and will not pass a dying man. But no, he’s not dead and there has not been an accident. He’s drunk. Dead drunk! On an early Sunday afternoon! It leaves me thinking. Most of the young men hanging out in the streets are waiting for the bars to open. But many are already drunk. Where is Mututho and his laws?

I have left Githunguri town in deep thought and am now in Ndumberi Shopping Centre near Kiambu town. Its chaos everywhere – matatus, hooting, touts, drunkards, shoppers – but this does not stop the golfers from doing their thing on the famous village golf course facing the shopping centre. I stop to observe. The desolate young men standing on the pavements and others jay walking are a spectacle to behold – skeletal, stooped, altered dental formulas, thinning hair, scarred skin, blood-short eyes that are gouging out, dirty clothes. These are the young men of Ndumberi, the village of my husband and many other prominent people.

Something has gone wrong. A generation is being wiped out by alcohol – a male generation. And the reality is that these are the images you get in most rural towns in Kenya, especially in Central Kenya. Young men whose life is lost in alcohol and drugs, just wasting away. It does not have to be that way. Something can be done and should be done.

And just when I thought my shock for the day was over, it’s time for evening prime time news. Women are demonstrating. They are carrying slogans and banana leaves while dancing and shouting. They are from Ndeiya, a village in Kikuyu. What has provoked them? Has someone stripped naked one of their own? No. They are asking serikali to come to their help and do something about their husbands! “They have become women – they don’t function anymore!” “We do not give birth anymore, schools are closing down!” “They steel our sufurias and sell them to buy alcohol!” “They don’t wash, they are dirty, and they smell!” Why? Because of alcohol and drugs. Are we going to turn away from these images? They are happening right in front of our eyes on TV, in our villages, towns and neighbourhoods. Right here in our country.

As I said a prayer that evening for my children, instead of seeing the faces of my two boys, I saw those of the young men of Ndumberi and Githunguri. I said a prayer for them and also asked God to compel us as a nation to do something about it. We need to start focusing on the boy child. Not that the girl child is not in need, she is in dire need, but if we continue to ignore the plight of the boy child, we will not escape the consequences.

The boy child needs direction through mentorship and guidance. And our men have not scored an A in this, not even a B – they have absconded from their responsibility of being fathers, mentors and role models to their sons. Society also seems to have forgotten the boy child who has caved in under the pressures of unemployment, poverty and other negative influences. Confused young men have turned to criminal activities or alcoholism and drugs to escape their problems.

As we continue to help with the empowerment of the girl-child, and the results are evident, we need to also turn our attention to the boy-child. He needs help. He needs to be empowered to face life’s challenges without resulting to alcohol abuse and other criminal and anti-social activities. As we celebrate this Christmas and prepare to usher in the New Year, I am making a passionate appeal to all Kenyans, men and women of goodwill, to focus on the plight of the boy child. But I urge men to take the lead and come up with initiatives that can salvage the life of the boy child who holds the future of this country. He needs guidance, mentorship and role modeling. You can play that part.

If you don’t know where to start you can join initiatives already in place, for example, the MENTENDA (men taking action) by the Kenya Community Development Foundation (KCDF). This initiative is calling on men to stand up to be counted as supporters of the boy child. It is a mentorship programme to be executed through secondary schools and you can start by adopting a school of your choice and connecting with KCDF www.kcdf.or.ke for the programme to kick off. What a better Christmas gift to your village, the boy child, and future of this country? Think about it. Merry Christmas.

Published in December 2014

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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