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How to effectively communicate with your partner after a conflict

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Communication after a heated argument with your partner is not always the easiest thing. Nevertheless, communication will always be key when solving any conflict that might arise in a relationship or even marriage.

Here are 9 tips to effectively communicate with your partner after a conflict.

Process your feelings

Speaking in the heat of the moment is never a wise decision as you or your partner might say things you will regret saying afterwards. The best thing to do is take time and process your feelings. You can do this by taking a walk or listening to your favourite music just to freshen up your mind. Later on you can confront the issue in your sober state of mind.

Avoid finger pointing

Pointing out your partner’s mistakes during or after an argument or even blaming them is not advisable. Instead, state how you felt in the whole conflict process and try to find a solution together as grown ups.

Find a right time to talk

Feel like there something you need to talk to your partner about? Set a time to communicate and avoid ambushing them with new conversations or when they are not at proper state of mind. Setting aside time to talk will lead to both partners preparing psychologically.

READ ALSO: What to do after getting a second chance in a relationship

Listen keenly

By listening to your partner, you will get a clear understanding of what they want, what they like and dislike. Listening also helps you how to handle any communication with your partner .

Take turns

In any communication, ensure that both parties are heard. If your raising an idea, suggestion or opinion, be sure to ask your partner their views on the matter. And if it’s in a conflict, don’t be the only one talking. Ensure you take turns while speaking for both sides to be heard.

Avoid reading their minds

Yes reading your partners mind is good but it also comes with a risk of misreading your partner,  especially during conflicts. It’s always a good idea to find out from your partner what the problem could be and what they really want.

Never do these things when arguing with your partner
Arguments are bound to arise in all kinds of relationships due to mundane orsubstantial reasons. In fact, relationship experts suggest that lack orarguments in a relationship could point to a problem such as disconnectedpartners. However, arguments could just as easily be bad for your relationshi…

Set clear boundaries

Setting clear boundaries in your relationship or marriage lets you will know what you can and can’t do. how to do, how to do it and when to do it because you have a guide to refer to. Further, setting boundaries limits you from saying some things that you know will upset your partner.

Don’t unleash past mistakes

Unleashing past mistakes in a recent argument means you did not entirely get over it, and there was no genuine forgiveness and resolution.  Always move forward and not backwards.

Forgive easily

Don’t be the partner who holds grudges without letting go. If your partner apologises for a mistake done, let them know you have forgiven them and allow both of you a fresh start. Sorry is a magic word for any conflict resolution.

The edition that celebrates fathers!
Commentator extraordinaire, Hassan Mwana Wa Ali graces our cover with his wife and son in our June issue. He takes us through his 10-year journey in the media industry, marriage life and his heart’s desire to mentor young people.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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