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How to be patient and trust the process

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You had all it planned out. By now you should have been married, gotten your first car and earning a fat salary. None of that is happening. Your peers’ lives are moving on well. You are tired of being broke, paying rent and working at a job that pays you so little, you can barely save anything. How can you move from this state?

You keep asking, when will my big break come? But the truth is, it is not yet time to get married, or own your home or move to the top of your career ladder. You are in the middle zone where the initial enthusiasm and energy to achieve that goal has subsided, but you still have a long way to go to accomplish your desired goal.

However, even though you feel like giving up on those dreams, it’s important to remember that there is no fun in arriving at your destination, but there is great joy in the process. You learn a lot, accept and improve yourself in the process, so be patient and trust the process.

But how do you trust the process when you have experienced so many setbacks and disappointments? We tell you how.

Accept where you are right now

Learn to accept that in life, there are going to be lows and highs and you have to embrace them all. So instead of resisting what is happening in your life, start being in a state of allowing life to happen. You may not be where you want to be right now, but it doesn’t mean you won’t get to where you wish to be in life.

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Keep a positive attitude and avoid comparison

Avoid focusing on the negative things happening in your life. Instead, pay attention to the good things or the positive changes that you are making and you will feel at peace. Stop demanding perfection. You have to be gentle with yourself and realise that you are doing the best you can.

Resist comparing yourself with others unless it’s for inspiration. Because if you keep comparing yourself with others, you will always feel like you are behind. Remember that everybody is running a different race because we are all here in this life for different reasons. So, find the courage to walk your unique path and stay focused on where you are going.

Good things take time

If you want to achieve a specific body type, you will not get it after only a week of workout and eating healthy. After several months of consistently working out and eating a healthy diet, you will begin to see results. If you are teaching yourself a new skill, it will take 10,000 hours of practice to master that skill. To attain a degree, you will need to study for an average of four years before you can graduate.

The common denominator here is time. Therefore, we have to trust that process of growth so that in the end we can see the desired results.

TBT: Up, Close and Candid withTOM AND MASSAWE JAPANNI (Photos)
Get to know more about radio couple Tom and Massawe Japanni from our October 2020 cover shoot!

Visualise success

When you have very ambitious goals, you can begin to doubt whether you will achieve them. However, trusting the process involves acknowledging but ignoring those inner thoughts of doubt and visualising success. Believe that you will achieve that goal and start working towards it.

Only worry about the things that you can control

Don’t pay too much attention to what you cannot control. For example, if you have your own business, you cannot control the amount of the money you take home. But you can control the amount of effort and investment you put into your business to help you succeed.

Stay committed

As you remain patient and trust the process, remember to stay committed to your goal. If you consistently put in the effort to achieve that goal, the results will be amazing. However, if you put in partial or no efforts you won’t achieve your goal.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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