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Finding healing after a failed relationship

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Often times when a relationship doesn’t work out, it can be hard to move on, especially if you had been together for a while. You might even be tempted to reconnect with your ex-lover which is often a bad idea considering you could be doing so for the wrong reasons. And although it may look like you cannot survive without them now, things do get better.  Here are a few steps that will lead your heart to healing:

Try a social media detox

In this age of social media, you may be tempted to pour out your frustrations to all and sundry, which you might end up regretting in the long run. Furthermore, nothing stings more than seeing your former lover with a new beau. The solution? Stay off social media. Chances are, since your friends follow them, you might come across their posts which may evoke feelings of anger or sadness. Mute, block or delete their profiles if need be.Alternatively, put your phone off and take some time for yourself but be sure to let your loved ones know first.

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Stay with family and friends

Often, when we invest in our relationships, we push our friends and family all the way to the back burner. We focus all our time and energy in the relationship because we really care for this person and we want it to work. However, reconnecting with family and friends after a breakup could hasten your healing process as you would be surrounded by people who care for your wellbeing.

Explore new interests

Have you always wanted to go bungee jumping but your partner wasn’t very upbeat about it? Now is the time to do it. If you’ve admired pots and the art of pottery for the longest time ever but never got around it, this is it. The joy of creating something from the clay up and making a beautiful masterpiece out of it, or not, is fulfilling. This is the best time to rediscover yourself and other interests after being caught up in the other person for a while.

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Journal

Nothing makes sense like putting down your thoughts on paper to help you figure out whatever you are feeling. The pain of a failed relationship is further amplified by the confusion of not being able to define or explain the agony. You can’t really explain it and others can’t really understand it but being able to describe your feelings in words kickstarts the journey to healing.

Talk it out

There is absolutely no need to keep all the hurt within you out of fear of burdening either your friends or family. Meet up with a trusted friend and just talk it all out. The pain, the confusion and the memories. It’s okay if you still can’t help talking about them just yet. Gradually let it all out until your memory of them is not shrouded in anger or hurt. Sharing what you feel, after all, gets the problem half-solved.

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Travel

“Travel far enough. You’ll find yourself.”- Author unknown.

Right now, you feel lost because you and your partner had become one. That empty space you feel was once full of your hopes, dreams, goals and desires as a couple. What you don’t know is that you are still there. It doesn’t feel like it right now, but you are not empty. Your whole self is still there and there’s nothing like travelling to new places to figure it out.

Meditate

Meditating is a technique that instantly calms the soul. Meditate on the good times and remind yourself about the beautiful things you have learnt because of this person. Think about the growth and how far you have come because of the relationship and purpose to think of your former partner in a way that does not arouse sadness or anger.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

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As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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