You have your own magic energy that lives within your body. It is invisible, yet it is as powerful as all other invisible energies that govern planet earth. This energy lies dormant in your body, holding all the power, vitality, and joy you dream of experiencing. In these two-part series in this column, we shall tell you why sex is one of the most effective ways of tapping into that vital energy, and also teach you how to use your sexual energy to unlock the potential you have inside you waiting to be discovered and enjoyed. 

Sexual activity is one of the times when the life energy within us is most apparent. For some people, it is the only time they experience the energy inside them. People who are normally dull and numb most of the time may actually become addicted to sex, relying on the sexual experience to give them some sense of being alive.

The life energy within your body is not sexual in nature. It is just energy. But when it moves through sexual organs, you experience its power in your sexual centre and it feels like sexual energy. When that same energy is experienced in your emotional centre, you experience it as love. And when the same energy is experienced in your rational or thinking centre, you experience insight or revelation. It is the same energy being experienced in different ways by different parts of your being.

During sex, another person helps to stimulate and start the flow of the life energy inside you. Sexual energy is a special kind of energy – out of its power, new life can be created. You can use this powerful energy to create new life in the form of a child, or you can use it to create new life within yourself. By learning how to use your sexual energy in a conscious way, rather than using it unconsciously, you can turn the sexual experience from one that simply feels good to one that rejuvenates you physically, emotionally, and even spiritually.

Each day of your life, you make many choices as to how you want to use all the energies available to you. You can wake up with a certain amount of creative energy and decide to lie on the couch all day watching television, or clean and tidy your house. The first decision would be a waste of your creative energy, while second would be a positive use of that same energy.

The energy available when you wake up each day is the same, but what you choose to do with it can either increase your vitality or decrease it. Similarly, you can have sex in a way that wears your body out or in away that rejuvenates it and creates more energy. The oldest cultures in the world knew the secret of using sexual energy to promote longevity, higher consciousness, and deep fulfillment. In India this tradition is called Tantra. It involves using the life energy expressed as sexual energy not solely for the purpose of experiencing pleasure, but also as a sacred ritual in which both the female and male rise to a higher level of awareness, health and inner peace.

In today’s world, sex has become synonymous with pleasure and release. People use sex as a form of ego gratification, as a form of tension release, and as a way to feel good. You are missing out on the tremendous hidden power sexual energy can offer you if you don’t know how to use it. What kind of sex do you have? Consider the following to know if you are exploiting the power of your sexual energy and learn how you can turn things around to enjoy much more than sexual pleasure.

Are you having greedy sex?

Imagine your body as a big container of energy. When you start to have sex with someone, you feel an increase in the energy inside your body, starting in your genitals. That’s what is usually referred to as being “turned on,” or aroused. As the energy starts to build, you make a choice – to try to focus all that energy on your genitals for maximum pleasure or to ‘spread out’ the energy all over the body, especially into the area of emotions in your body.

For most people, sex consists of making the first choice, trying to stuff as much pleasure and energy into the genitals as quickly as possible, until the body goes into an involuntary explosion or release called orgasm. The human body can handle only a certain amount of energy in one area before it has to release the excess. This is why orgasm happens quickly when all the energy is concentrated on the genitals. This kind of sex is simply greedy and has no emotions tied to it.

You can choose to enjoy sex, just like a food connoisseur eats his food slowly to enjoy it. Learning to have enjoyable sex means making the second choice – taking time to integrate the sexual energy throughout the body so you can experience even more energy, resulting in more vitality, more joy and more love. Sexual connoisseurs never rush sex – they make it an experience not an invent.

Are you having sex from the waist down?

Most people say their most fulfilling sexual experiences occurred when they experienced intense love energy as well as sexual energy. This happens when sex is not just physically satisfying, but emotionally fulfilling as well. Despite this, many people continue to have sex from the waist down, focusing on getting as much genital pleasure as possible. Having sex from the waist down means you are having either of three kinds of sex: goal-oriented, pleasure-oriented, or release-oriented sex. Lets look at each individually.

Goal-oriented sex. If you are making love with certain sexual expectations in mind – “ I want to have an orgasm with my partner,” or “I want to come many times” – you are having sex from the waist down. You are focusing on genital goals, and not creating emotional closeness. There is nothing wrong with having three orgasms or lasting for an hour, as long as that doesn’t become the goal. Making love works best when your goal is really to make love. To love and be loved.

Pleasure-oriented sex. During pleasure oriented sex, you may spend the whole time going for an orgasm or trying to give your partner an orgasm, or even trying to maneuver yourself into the best position for maximum stimulation. You know you are pleasure-oriented when you become preoccupied with your pleasure or your partner’s pleasure. Sex often becomes very mechanical when you are pleasure oriented. Obviously, experiencing pleasure is a big part of sex. But when pleasure becomes the goal, you are having greedy sex from waist down, and thus limiting your true experience of the power of sexual energy.

Release-oriented sex. Having release-oriented sex is like carrying a huge bag of groceries from the car to the house and you can’t wait to get rid of it. Release-oriented sex has one purpose: to release pent-up sexual tensions. It usually has little or nothing to do with love and it is usually fairly brief – just long enough to build up the energy and then release it. The unfortunate person on the receiving end of this kind of sex usually feels like a depository, if she’s female, or like a human vibrator, if he’s male. Rapists have release-oriented sex.

Sex from the waist down contributes to two of the most common sexual problems – premature ejaculation in men, and inability to have orgasm in women. In men, all that focus on the genitals builds up the sexual pressure too quickly, producing the need for a quick release. The man needs to learn to let his energy build up slowly, integrating it through the body so he can last longer without having to discharge energy.

For women, sex from the waist down fails to focus the energy and attention on a woman’s most powerful erogenous zone – the feelings in her heart. Studies show that women become aroused emotionally first and sexually second. Many women cannot experience orgasm because the emphasis on genital stimulation isn’t getting them anywhere – they aren’t emotionally receptive and relaxed enough to feel the pleasure.

Are you having sex from waist up?

Imagine that your body is made up of two energy tanks, one from the waist down and one from the waist up. The one from the waist down holds sexual energy and the one above holds the love energy. A channel connects the two tanks. When people have sex from the waist down, they are using only one of the energy tanks. When that tank gets full, they have an orgasm, and the sexual experience is over. Using your full sexual potential means learning to open up your second energy tank, and thus expand your capacity to experience the power, pleasure, and fulfillment that sexual energy will bring you.

The longer you allow sexual energy to circulate in your body, the more powerful its effects on your entire being. Just think about how you feel after you have a beautiful lovemaking experience with your partner, not one that was rushed or unsatisfying, but one in which you feel totally loved from head to toe. Afterward, you feel refreshed, revitalized, and glowing. You have probably made love from waist up as well as well as from waist down. Unfortunately, this experience of total regeneration and joy is not very frequent for most people because majority have sex from waist down. People have sex from waist down for three main reasons:

*They were taught that sex is for pleasure and they don’t know any other way to make love.

*They have become dependent on sex for release of tension.

*They are avoiding making love with their partner from the waist up because it involves making themselves emotionally vulnerable.

The emotional walls you build around your heart keep your sexual energy from rising to that second energy tank above the waist. Anger at your partner, fear of being rejected, emotional numbness, and mistrust – all of these can keep sexual energy from becoming love energy and making room for more sexual energy. If you want to experience the maximum sexual energy, you must be willing to become emotionally turned on as well as sexually turned on.

In the next issue, we shall go through the steps that will help you utilise your sexual energy to the maximum to experience sexual pleasure and complete fulfillment, as you become totally rejuvenated.

Published in August 2013