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Don't feel guilty spending ON YOUR WOMAN

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There was a lot of hullabaloo prior to Valentine’s Day when Villa Rosa Kempinski Hotel in Nairobi advertised a Valentine’s Day package going for Kshs 2.4 million. Billed as “A Night of Diamonds,” the hotel had promised the couple a butler, a private chef, a dinner serenade and champagne, on top of 40 bouquets of roses. The couple would also have special massage, private Jacuzzi and designer diamond jewellery. All this in the presidential suite! Or you could choose to have the mini-package of Ksh1.4 million.

Many people heard about this advertisement and hell broke loose. “That’s extravagant… How many poor children can Ksh 2.4 million feed?” “No, people should donate that money to the needy”, “Ksh 2.4 million? That can buy medicine for a village dispensary, those rich people should stop such wastage…” while others wrote: “For just one night? Give me the money to build a house with and buy a Probox…” And, “Those are thieves spending taxpayers money… hiyo siyo salary”… and on and on the comments flowed on radio, newspapers and social media.

But it appears those “rich, insensitive, wasteful and corrupt” lovers didn’t listen to wise counsel. They actually spent those millions at Villa Rosa!

What’s wrong with such people? Nothing! All their faculties are intact and life goes on for them. For one, these people were spending their money… not yours; and they were celebrating love the best way they could, just like you. You see; there can be no agreement about what amount is too much to spend on a loved one. Go with just one bouquet of flowers to meet a woman in a slum and people will wonder why you couldn’t just buy maize flour with that money for her family. Spend Ksh 3,000 on a meal and someone will make you feel guilty for spending on a dinner what another person makes in a month.

Truth be told, only those of us who are not millionaires thought spending Kshs 2.4 million on one night was extravagant. After all, you would need to take a SACCO loan to get half that amount. But to the millionaire, spending that amount would be no different from you spending whatever amount you felt comfortable spending on Valentine’s Day.

So, would I spend Kshs 2.4 million on my wife for just one night? I would if I could. And that’s even too little: The day I become a millionaire, I will take her to a more expensive resort on a chartered plane outside the country, lavish her so much so that the bill will read like a CDF end-year financial statement. She is my wife, my best friend, the mother of my lovely daughters and my confidant. Anything I can spend on her I will. We did not go to Kempinski this time only because I could not afford it, but I gave her what that Kempisnki fellow would have given his lover were he in my place today.

What about the needy? Why couldn’t we have spent a day at an orphanage with destitute children? I repeat what Jesus said to His disciples when they complained that Magdalene was wasting precious oil cleaning Jesus’ feet; oil that could be sold and money used to feed the poor. “The poor will always be with you,” he told them. Today I can feed the poor, I can clothe the naked, I can visit the sick, but Valentine’s Day comes once a year.

So what is my point here, brothers? Simply put, don’t allow those “voices of reason” to stop you from showing love to your woman the best way you can. If you can afford Ksh 2.4 million for a special night with her, jump to the occasion; if you are still ‘building yourself’ and you can only afford Ksh 10,000, spend it all on her. If you depend on wages and all you can spare for your woman is Ksh 2,000, spend it like there is no tomorrow. Feeding the destitute should never come between you and your wife, and not even your children.

Caution though! Don’t spend such amounts on a passing cloud. Spending any amount should be with a woman who means the world to you; to whom your future is tied to, and if she is a girl you are trying to impress with hopes of winning her over for a future together, splash the cash, if she still says no after chopping all your money, you will at least be glad you tried, and you will also be wiser.

So brothers, that dress your wife fancies and which goes for Kshs 10,000 is not expensive; that Kshs 5,000 cologne is not expensive either; not even the pink Vitz: if you can afford it, let her have these things. She will then be more comfortable accompanying you to a home for the less fortunate to cloth the poor. And you will experience the joy of walking besides a beautiful, well-dressed woman. All humanity will call you blessed.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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