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Dealing with the loss of a loved one

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Dealing with the loss of a loved one can be difficult since life has its own way of giving and taking. But time has its perfect way of mending and healing. When we lose our loved ones, it is never a walk in the park. It brings pain and breaks many hearts but after all is said in done, we have to embrace the change and move on with life. Never neglect the fact that it is not easy but it is always manageable.

Walk with me as shine some light on dealing with the loss of a loved one.

source:www.uua.org

ALSO READ: HOW TO COPE WITH HEARTBREAK
Let your emotions out.

When you loose someone that meant everything to you, it can be heartbreaking, devastating and hard to believe. Crying about it has never been wrong. Be vulnerable. Tears have their unique way of washing the pain away. Don’t suppress the pain, let it be.

It might surprise you that grieving can take even years, but be free to let go of the pain when the right time comes.

Don’t compare yourself to others during this time.

Mourning your loved ones will always be handled differently by different people. Remember, we all are not the same. Never beat yourself for taking too long to heal and never blame others for healing too fast. There is no specific time frame given for grieving. Time will heal in the long run. Know where you belong and give yourself time to heal. Don’t act strong at the expense of pleasing others.

Don’t blame the situation.

Probably, what happpend was never in your control. Do not blame yourself or the situation. That can easily lead to self-denial or depression. Take the situation as it is and handle it to your capacity. Never be too hard on yourself, make that a rule of life.

Get support

Many are the times that we want to isolate ourselves during this time. It might seem that the wolrd is unfair or it has come to a stand-still. However, don’t push away people who are willing to give you emotional support and be there for you. In addition, you might go ahead and visit a therapist for mental and emotional assistance. Friends can also come in handy here, go out, have fan, talk and it will help deflate the burning pain .

Avoid alcohol or drugs.

Sometimes people think that turning to drugs would help ease the pain. However, this can lead to addiction. It is also harmful to your health hence making you suffer double pain. Drop that glass of wine and face the pain with a sober mind. It might be painful but heals with time.

Keep some memories.

Don’t brush your loved one off. Keep the good memories and revisit them time to time. You also can pen down your pain in a letter telling them how much you miss them. Thank them for the time you were together. Frame some photos and keep dates that will remind you of them. Light candles of hope for them and live with the memory.

Expose yourself to what you love doing.

Go for trips, hikes , ice-cream eating, hang out with friends. Do what you are passionate about. Occupy your mind with positive vibes. Also, choose to talk about it; you will find out that the pain is easily ebbing. That is how the healing process begins.

Choose to move on.

After time has healed you, wake up, dust yourself, pick youself up and move on with life. There might be a deep hole that cannot be refilled but chose to live with the situation and handle everything positively.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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