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Child adoption: What to consider

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When it comes to adoption, no one is ever really prepared for what comes with it. You may have done all the research on how to adopt the child. However, sometimes you may not be adequately prepared emotionally and mentally to receive the new child. Here are some of the things to remember.

Be on the same page with your partner

Adopting a child is not a decision that should be made without a partner unless it’s a single-parent home. If not, this is a deep and lengthy conversation that should be made over a good amount of time by both future adoptive parents.

Being on the same page does not just mean agreeing on adopting a child, but everything else that comes after too. As a result, there are questions that you and your partner need to ask yourselves:

What is your reason for adopting?Are you open to adopting an extended family member? Why adopting and not fostering? ( fostering – to take care of a child, usually for a limited time, without being the child’s legal parent)Are you emotionally available to care for a child (or more children)?Is your relationship emotionally stable to care for a child?Are you mentally prepared for what comes with having a child (or more children)?Are you financially stable enough to support a child (or more children)? Are you open to adopting a physically challenged child and if so are we prepared for it?Do the two of you need counselling before making a decision?Photo by Gift Habeshaw / Unsplash

Consider the age of the child

The age of the child lets you know how prepared you need to be. If the child is between newborn to 10 years, you need to consider the possibility that the biological parent might want to have a relationship with the child.

If the child is above 10 years, pre to late teen, you need to be ready for behavioural issues that are common with children at this age. You should also be ready to handle difficult questions from the child. Before finalising the adoption, agree on when you will talk to the child about their adoption, their biological parents.

Photo by Joice Kelly / Unsplash

Seek the opinion of the larger adoptive family

Before the decision is final, future adoptive parents need to put into consideration that it will affect everyone in the family as well.  As much as the final say will come from the parents, it’s best to hear everyone’s – other children, grandparents and or parent’s siblings – opinion on the matter. This is a life-changing decision after all.

There’s nothing as bad as bringing a child where they will feel or be treated as an outsider before getting the chance to be at home.

How to nurture a strong sibling bond in your children
Siblings can have one of the strongest bonds if guided well from a young age because they share a lot more than just parents.

Consider the mental, emotional, physical state of the child

Children who are up for adoption may have undergone traumatic experiences like abuse and rejection. As a result, they may not be physically, emotionally or mentally healthy. Adoptive parents have to be prepared to create a safe environment for these children because it is not fair to put them through more hardship.

Be ready to show them patience, understanding, care, love and compassion for them to heal from their past. Also, medical care should be a priority for children who may be physically injured or traumatised. This may take a toll on the family if they are not prepared.

ALSO READ: 5 ways to bond with your newborn baby

In conclusion…

Choosing to make a difference in a child’s life through adopting them, is one of the most selfless things in the world. It not only gives them a chance at a better life but it allows them to feel the warmth of a loving family that they might never have had.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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