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BOND OF LOVE: A Lesson in Compromise

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John Ng’ang’a, an entrepreneur, and Njeri Nduati, an administrator, met while serving in the music ministry in their church. Over time a friendship blossomed and they started dating. This was cut short by a breakup but they eventually reconnected, resolved their differences and later tied the knot. Theirs is not a fairly love tale as they shared with ESTHER KIRAGU.

A colleague referred me to John and Njeri Nduati, describing them as a lovely couple that recently had a superb wedding. And so after contacting them on phone and making all the needed arrangements we settled down for this interview on a Monday afternoon.

John and Njeri met in 2008 while serving in the music ministry in their church. “I noticed Njeri wore a flashy ring. I automatically concluded that she was engaged and when I asked her about it, she confirmed my fears. I expressed my disappointment to which she laughed and admitted she was pulling my leg and wasn’t attached to anyone but loved wearing her dressy ring. I recall being so relieved,” says a good-humored John recalling the initial contact with his wife.

This shared humour opened doors to a friendship between the two. They often met in church during music practice sessions. Within no time they were spending more and time together having coffee or just chatting. As their friendship blossomed, they grew very fond of each other. John, 27, and Njeri, 31, moved their friendship to the next level and started dating in August 2009.

Dating and courtship

The couple says things were great in the relationship at the beginning but over time they began fighting about everything. “We both had expectations. I, for instance, was a stickler to my own rules. I guess I was somewhat afraid Njeri would want to change me and so I put my foot down and wouldn’t compromise about anything,” John explains.

After eight months of dating, they both had enough of the fights and they broke up. “I was very miserable and turned to God to help me deal with the pain. Despite it being a gloomy time, it was also a season to purge and re-evaluate myself, my expectations and the role I played in the break up of the relationship,” Njeri explains.

A couple of months after the breakup, John tried to get in touch with Njeri hoping for reconciliation. An adamant Njeri wouldn’t give him a chance having been so hurt by the break-up. “I didn’t give up. I just kept calling and texting her with suggestions that  we should meet up and talk things over but she kept turning me down,” says John.

“My persistence paid off when she eventually agreed to meet me. We talked for hours and re-evaluated ourselves,” John adds. After being apart for a year they reconciled and started dating again. They had both learnt the importance of compromise as well as ways of dealing with conflicts amicably.

Surprise proposal and wedding

John proposed to Njeri on April 2012 over dinner at the couple’s favourite restaurant in Westlands, Nairobi. An elated Njeri did not hesitate in accepting to marry the man she had grown to love so much. Thereafter, the couple informed their parents and family about their decision to marry and dowry negotiations and other plans were set in motion.

During the traditional dowry ceremony, also known as Ruracio in Kikuyu, the two families had a pleasant surprise on realising that they were long time family friends. “The ceremony turned out to be a great re-union party,” says a grateful Njeri.

They put together a wedding committee made up of close friends to help coordinate tasks related to the wedding. Their love story culminated in a beautiful wedding on December 22, 2012 at the St. Andrew’s Cathedral, Thika, followed by a reception at the Cool Breeze Garden in Muthaiga.

Their black and red themed wedding cost Ksh 600,000 and was financed through personal savings and contributions from friends and family. “Family and friends really came through for us and we had a memorable day,” says the couple who believe there are nothing without God.

They flew to Dubai for their honeymoon.

We wish them God’s blessings and guidance in their marriage.

PUBLISHED AUGUST 2015

 

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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