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A long love affair, a break up, and a wedding

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Lilian Wanjiku Thairu, 31, a computer specialist, and John Kiriungi Wang’ondu, 31, a computer software engineer, met during their time in university. A strong friendship blossomed and with time the couple fell in love.  Their love has been tested many times but they have emerged stronger individuals. The couple walks ESTHER KIRAGU through their story of love culminating into their wedding.

Lilian and John met in 2003 in Kampala, Uganda where they were both students at Kampala International University (KIU). They shared a hostel near the campus quarters. John noticed Lilian and was drawn to her.

”I was attracted to her and during the campus end year party in 2003 I asked her to be my girlfriend,” explains John. At first, Lilian was skeptical and so were her friends. “John loved partying unlike me and I was afraid that we couldn’t cope. However, I gave him a chance stating that we needed to start out as friends and see how our friendship develops. With time we were in love and started dating. My friends came to accept my decision,” says Lilian.

Dating and courtship…

The couple dated throughout their campus years. They often cooked and hang out together as they sought to learn more about each other. In 2006 Lilian completed her studies a semester ahead of John and returned to Kenya. John followed at the end of that year but his stay in Kenya was short lived as he got a scholarship to study for a Masters degree in computer science in Sweden. Being so far away from Lilian became the first big test of their relationship. “We often argued over the phone and it became so frustrating that we broke up,” explains the couple.

However in 2008 Lilian too got a scholarship to Sweden, to pursue a Masters degree in computer science. Although they were now in the same country they lived in different cities. Lilian admits she was willing to rekindle their relationship but John felt the distance between them was an issue.

Bitter and feeling dejected, Lilian cut all communication with John and turned to God realising that all her efforts were futile. “It was during that time that God taught me the true meaning of forgiveness. I forgave John and revived some communication with him but regarded him as just a friend,” explains Lilian.

John who was studying and working got temporarily laid off because of the economic recession that affected Europe at the time.  He called Lillian requesting her to help him find a job. She not only helped him find a job but also showed genuine care and support and this deeply touched John. This became the catalyst that helped them rekindle their relationship and they started dating again in 2010.

“We learnt to be more caring and accommodating,” the couple explains. Looking back, the couple says they were very young when they started dating and didn’t know how to handle their differences very well. They have both matured and look at issues differently.

Proposal and wedding…

Lilian and John introduced each other to their respective families during their visits to Kenya in J December 2011 and March 2012. In August 2012, John asked Lilian to marry him during a cruise to Finland. Excited, she accepted the proposal but John didn’t give her an engagement ring at the time. This came later on December 7, 2012, just before their wedding.

After the proposal they called their parents to let them know of their intention to get married. Dowry and other marriage negotiations started between their parents when the couple was still out of the country.

“We made all the wedding arrangements from Sweden. We looked for wedding service providers online and they worked with our family members and friends to put up the wedding,” the couple says.

The yellow and black themed wedding cost Kshs 650,000, which they financed from their savings. They flew back to the country for a beautiful wedding on December 29, 2012 at P.C.E.A Church Limuru, followed by a reception at the grounds of St Paul’s University in Limuru. They had their honeymoon in Maasai Mara and traveled back to Sweden soon after.

We wish the couple a blissful marriage.

Wedding photography by Thellessi media

Published on February 2013

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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