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Who Should Come First? Parents or Children?

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A conversation stirred by media personality Oga Obinaa has opened up an important reflection for many young adults: where does your primary responsibility lie, towards the parents who raised you or the children depending on you? His remarks, delivered candidly and in a tone many found relatable, point to a growing pressure facing young people trying to balance cultural expectations with harsh economic realities.

“Your parents are not your responsibility. You are your responsibility. Your children are your responsibility. If you choose to take care of your parents, it is not the priority. If you follow that hierarchy, you will be at peace. If you do not have enough, your parents should understand that.” Oga Obinna Said

He argued that people should not feel guilty for prioritising themselves and their children, especially when they are in what he called “survival mode.” “Ukiwa survival mode, piga budget yako,” he said. “Sio ukipata thao unatumia mum yote halafu unabaki hivyo.” He added that loving parents should understand when their adult children genuinely have nothing to give, instead of demanding or expecting money that simply isn’t there.

His sentiments struck a chord because many young adults today are shouldering disproportionate burdens. Traditionally, supporting one’s parents was almost automatic, a way of honouring the sacrifices they made. In many African homes, it is considered an obligation, not a favour. But times have changed. The cost of living has risen sharply. Employment is unpredictable. Salaries often fail to match inflation. Many are raising young children of their own while still finding their footing financially. The emotional and financial strain is real, and unspoken guilt accompanies every unmet expectation.

This is why the question of who comes first is becoming increasingly complex. When someone becomes a parent, the responsibility for their child’s welfare, housing, food, education, emotional stability, naturally becomes immediate and non-negotiable. A child cannot postpone their needs. Their survival and their future depend entirely on the adult raising them. When a parent is forced to choose between providing for their child and sending money to their own parents, the conflict can be overwhelming.

Yet this does not erase the importance of supporting parents. Ageing parents, especially those without pensions or stable income, still need care and emotional connection. The issue, however, is how to offer this support without collapsing under the weight of it. Healthy support must come from capacity, not pressure. It should reflect love, not fear or guilt. And it should be rooted in honest conversations, not silent suffering or unrealistic expectations.

The reality is that family responsibility is not a competition between generations. It is a matter of balance, timing and self-awareness. There are seasons in life where one may not have much to give and that is okay. There are seasons where one becomes more stable, and supporting parents becomes easier and more joyful. What his statement brings to the surface is the need for compassion in both directions: children doing what they can without self-destruction, and parents understanding that today’s challenges are not the same as those of decades past.

In the end, the heart of the matter is sustainability. You cannot build a secure future for your family if you are constantly depleted. You cannot raise emotionally healthy children if you are weighed down by shame. And you cannot give to your parents what you do not have. The best gift one can offer both generations is stability, financial, emotional and mental. Everything else flows from that.

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Cover Story

Heartbreak as Body of 12-Year-Old Blessed Claire Muthoni Arrives Home from India

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Kenyans are mourning the loss of Blessed Claire Muthoni, a brave 12-year-old girl from Kihuri in Othaya, Nyeri County, who passed away while undergoing specialised cancer treatment in New Delhi. Claire had been fighting stage 4 cancer for over three years.

The aggressive disease took a heavy toll on her young body, eventually leading to the amputation of one of her legs. Despite the pain and the many challenges she faced, Claire remained hopeful and courageous throughout her journey, inspiring many who followed her story.

On January 19, 2026, she travelled to India with her mother in search of advanced treatment aimed at saving her remaining leg and managing the cancer that had spread to her lungs. The journey was filled with hope, supported by Kenyans from all walks of life who contributed towards her treatment and kept her in their prayers.

A brave fight

While in India, Claire underwent several chemotherapy sessions. Unfortunately, her condition worsened after developing complications, leading to her admission to the Intensive Care Unit. She passed away in hospital last week, leaving behind a grieving family and a nation that had stood with her.

On Monday, March 30, 2026, her remains arrived at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport. The atmosphere at the airport was filled with grief as family members, friends and well-wishers gathered to receive her. Her mother returned home alone, carrying a loss no parent should have to endure.

Claire will be laid to rest in her home area of Othaya in the coming days, as her family begins the difficult process of saying their final goodbyes.

Her story touched thousands across the country, many of whom followed her journey through updates and fundraising efforts. She became a symbol of strength and resilience, and her passing has deeply affected those who had hoped to see her recover.

Beyond the grief, her story has once again brought attention to the challenges families face when dealing with childhood cancer in Kenya. The high cost of specialised treatment, limited access to advanced care locally, and the emotional and financial strain on families often force many to seek treatment abroad.

Read our March issue here 

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Cover Story

Heartbreak as Body of 12-Year-Old Blessed Claire Muthoni Arrives Home from India

Published

on

Kenyans are mourning the loss of Blessed Claire Muthoni, a brave 12-year-old girl from Kihuri in Othaya, Nyeri County, who passed away while undergoing specialised cancer treatment in New Delhi. Claire had been fighting stage 4 cancer for over three years.

The aggressive disease took a heavy toll on her young body, eventually leading to the amputation of one of her legs. Despite the pain and the many challenges she faced, Claire remained hopeful and courageous throughout her journey, inspiring many who followed her story.

On January 19, 2026, she travelled to India with her mother in search of advanced treatment aimed at saving her remaining leg and managing the cancer that had spread to her lungs. The journey was filled with hope, supported by Kenyans from all walks of life who contributed towards her treatment and kept her in their prayers.

A brave fight

While in India, Claire underwent several chemotherapy sessions. Unfortunately, her condition worsened after developing complications, leading to her admission to the Intensive Care Unit. She passed away in hospital last week, leaving behind a grieving family and a nation that had stood with her.

On Monday, March 30, 2026, her remains arrived at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport. The atmosphere at the airport was filled with grief as family members, friends and well-wishers gathered to receive her. Her mother returned home alone, carrying a loss no parent should have to endure.

Claire will be laid to rest in her home area of Othaya in the coming days, as her family begins the difficult process of saying their final goodbyes.

Her story touched thousands across the country, many of whom followed her journey through updates and fundraising efforts. She became a symbol of strength and resilience, and her passing has deeply affected those who had hoped to see her recover.

Beyond the grief, her story has once again brought attention to the challenges families face when dealing with childhood cancer in Kenya. The high cost of specialised treatment, limited access to advanced care locally, and the emotional and financial strain on families often force many to seek treatment abroad.

Read our March issue here 

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Shock as Section of Gikomba Shoe Market Demolished Overnight

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Traders at Nairobi’s bustling Gikomba Market are counting heavy losses after a section of the popular shoe market (mitumba shoe section) was demolished overnight by Nairobi City County enforcement teams. The operation took place in the early hours of Tuesday morning.

Videos and photos circulating on social media show destroyed merchandise and devastated traders who arrived at the market this morning to find their businesses in ruins. According to reports, the county government carried out the demolition after an eviction notice lapsed. This happened even though the High Court (Environment and Land Court) had earlier issued and extended conservatory orders in March 2026, halting mass demolitions and evictions at Gikomba and surrounding areas along the Nairobi River.

Repeated demolitions

Demolitions at Gikomba are not new. As far back as 1977, the original market was brought down by the government to pave the way for light industries. In recent years, attention has shifted to the riparian land along the Nairobi River, with authorities proposing to expand the buffer zone from 30 metres to 50 metres in a bid to control flooding.

Many traders have raised concerns over what they describe as poor consultation, shifting relocation plans and the lack of a clear and secure alternative site. There are also growing fears that the process could open the door to land grabbing and cartel involvement.

Impact

For most traders at Gikomba, the market is more than just a place of business. It is their only source of livelihood. Repeated fires and demolitions have created a cycle of uncertainty, financial strain and constant rebuilding. Many small business owners say they struggle to recover after each loss, only to face another setback months later.

Calls for improved fire safety measures, fair relocation plans and meaningful engagement with authorities continue to grow louder. Without long term and sustainable solutions, Gikomba traders will continue to bear the high cost of operating in one of Nairobi’s busiest yet most vulnerable markets.

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