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A love story from a choir encounter

Dalphine and Shadrack Onyango’s love story serves as a poignant reminder that true love can be found in a single glance.

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The couple, blessed with a son, share with CECILIA ASHIOYA their journey of love and how they overcame relationship challenges to build a beautiful life together.

In March 2019, Dalphine attended a choir practice at the behest of a friend and this is where she encountered Shadrack for the first time. She was captivated by his striking appearance and magnetic presence from the moment he entered the room.

“The aura in the room changed when Shadrack walked in,” she recalls.

This chance meeting marked the beginning of a journey that would leave an indelible impression on both of their lives.

The couple began their dating journey in June 2019. Shadrack always considered himself a ladies’ man. He tried to make a move on Dalphine on their first encounter without much seriousness to it and it backfired. Dalphine saw through his attempts and promptly turned him down, saying, “I know your type, and whatever you are looking for you will not get.”

Shadrack confesses to having gone home a disappointed man because this was the first time he had been turned down by a lady. But over time, he knew he had fallenin love with Dalphine and was determined to win her heart

“My love for Dalphine grew to a level where it became all-consuming. I was head over heels in love with her,” he recounts

He also recalls a time he arrived late for an event at Karura Forest and was captivated by Dalphine’s kind-heartedness when she shared her snacks with him.

On her part, Dalphine says she appreciated Shadrack’s respectful and considerate nature towards other people, qualities that always stood out whenever they were together. It is this mutual admiration for each other’s values that eventually blossomed into a deep and meaningful love.

Shadrack and Dalphine started their journey to marriage in March 2021 when he introduced her to his family and she was warmly welcomed. But they encountered a few hitches during dowry negotiations as the ladies could not agree, owing to divergent tribal and cultural backgrounds. The situation escalated to a point where it threatened to break up the couple. They found a common ground when a decision was reached to base the negotiations on their Christian values rather than sticking to traditional practices.

“There was so much financial pressure during the dowry negotiations. People’s tempers rose as they tried to reason out with one another but all in all, the ending was a happy one and worth it,” Shadrack says.

Shadrack and Dalphine exchanged marriage vows on October 16, 2022, at the Nairobi Central Seventh Day Church They had planned for a guest list of 300 to 400 people but were pleasantly surprised by an overwhelming turnout of 700 people. Despite the numbers, the caterer did an amazing job and all the guests were well-fed within the budget.

“We had an incredible caterer who was accommodating and also understood that guest numbers could go up, especially in a Seventh Adventist Church I would recommend them any time.” Dalphine: says

The couple used their saving to fund the wedding but also received financial assistance from their parents, friends, and the church.

Shadrack and Dalphine faced a myriad of obstacles during their courtship including occasional communication breakdowns, personality differences, and periods of unemployment. Nevertheless, they persevered through these challenges and remained deeply devoted to each other. By actively addressing their issues and seeking common ground, they were able to overcome the difficulties and strengthen their relationship.

“When we are faced with misunderstandings, we make a deliberate effort to communicate effectively, pray together and for each other, and also try to understand and appreciate each other’s weaknesses.” Shadrack says.

The couple says that their experience highlights the importance of resilience, open and honest commumication, mutual support, and seeking counsel from trusted advisors during challenging times in a relationship.

“We also value honesty and seek guidance from our appointed mentors,” Dalphine adds

Their love story serves as a reminder that sometimes the path to true love may have a few bumps along the way, but it’s always worth it in the end

The couple has learned to practice patience and effective communication in their marriage. They prioritise loyalty. honesty, and working together to turn their weaknesses into strengths.

“Every couple should be willing to speak honestly about their weaknesses because love encompasses those weaknesses, especially in marriage. Further, one should help their partner become the better version of themselves,” Dalphine emphasizes

The couple’s advice to those in relationships is to seek guidance from God throughout the dating process to avoid emotional harm; exercise patience, and have a clear idea of the type of partner they desire.

Further, the couple recommends communicating as a team, praying together and for one another, and managing finances together. They also stress the importance of honesty and taking the time to fully understand a partner before making a commitment. Finally, they advise spending time in each other’s homes to promote complete acceptance and understanding of one another.

Image Courtesy: Shadrack and Dalphine 

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The Festival of Breaking the Fast: Understanding Eid al-Fitr

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As the crescent moon appears in the night sky, marking the end of the ninth month of the Islamic lunar calendar, millions of people around the world transition from a period of deep reflection to one of vibrant celebration. Eid ul-Fitr, often called the “Festival of Breaking the Fast,” is one of the most significant dates in the calendar, representing a harmonious blend of spiritual accomplishment and communal joy.

Why is Eid al-Fitr celebrated?

Eid al-Fitr marks the conclusion of Ramadan, a month-long period where observers fast from dawn until sunset. The celebration is, at its core, a way to show gratitude. After thirty days of practising self-discipline, patience, and increased charity, the festival serves as a reward for the spiritual “marathon” completed during the holy month.

It is also a time to celebrate the revelation of the Quran, which is believed to have begun during the final ten days of Ramadan. By completing the fast, individuals celebrate the strength and willpower they gained, reinforcing their commitment to their values for the year ahead.

The importance of the day

Eid ul-Fitr is far more than just a day off from work or a festive meal; it serves several critical functions:

  • It acts as a bridge between the intense devotion of the previous month and a return to daily life, carrying forward the lessons of empathy and mindfulness.

  • The day begins with a special congregational prayer. This gathering brings together people from all walks of life, emphasising equality and unity within the community.

  • A key pillar of the holiday is Zakat al-Fitr, a mandatory charity given before Eid prayers. This ensures that everyone, regardless of their financial status, can enjoy a festive meal and join the celebration.

What does Eid al-Fitr mean?

While the literal translation is “the feast of breaking the fast,” the deeper meaning of Eid revolves around renewal.

  1. Many view the day as an opportunity to start fresh. It is a traditional time for reconciling differences, forgiving past grievances, and strengthening bonds with family and neighbours.

  2. After experiencing the hunger and thirst of a fast, the “Fitr” (breaking of the fast) takes on a profound meaning. It is a moment to appreciate the necessities of life (food, water, and health) that are often taken for granted.

  3. Beyond the religious context, it is a day defined by hospitality. Homes are opened, special sweets are shared, and children often receive gifts or Eid (money), creating a sense of wonder and belonging that lasts a lifetime. 

Common traditions around the world

While customs vary by region, a few hallmarks remain constant:

  • Wearing new or best-quality clothes to honour the occasion.

  • In many cultures, the holiday is nicknamed the “Sweet Eid” due to the variety of desserts, like sheer khurma or baklava, served to guests.

  • The universal phrase used to wish others well is “Eid Mubarak,” which translates to “Have a blessed Eid.”

In essence, Eid al-Fitr is a beautiful reminder that discipline leads to joy, and that the greatest celebrations are those shared with others.

For more, click HERE to join our WhatsApp channel!

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Feature

The Festival of Breaking the Fast: Understanding Eid al-Fitr

Published

on

As the crescent moon appears in the night sky, marking the end of the ninth month of the Islamic lunar calendar, millions of people around the world transition from a period of deep reflection to one of vibrant celebration. Eid ul-Fitr, often called the “Festival of Breaking the Fast,” is one of the most significant dates in the calendar, representing a harmonious blend of spiritual accomplishment and communal joy.

Why is Eid al-Fitr celebrated?

Eid al-Fitr marks the conclusion of Ramadan, a month-long period where observers fast from dawn until sunset. The celebration is, at its core, a way to show gratitude. After thirty days of practising self-discipline, patience, and increased charity, the festival serves as a reward for the spiritual “marathon” completed during the holy month.

It is also a time to celebrate the revelation of the Quran, which is believed to have begun during the final ten days of Ramadan. By completing the fast, individuals celebrate the strength and willpower they gained, reinforcing their commitment to their values for the year ahead.

The importance of the day

Eid ul-Fitr is far more than just a day off from work or a festive meal; it serves several critical functions:

  • It acts as a bridge between the intense devotion of the previous month and a return to daily life, carrying forward the lessons of empathy and mindfulness.

  • The day begins with a special congregational prayer. This gathering brings together people from all walks of life, emphasising equality and unity within the community.

  • A key pillar of the holiday is Zakat al-Fitr, a mandatory charity given before Eid prayers. This ensures that everyone, regardless of their financial status, can enjoy a festive meal and join the celebration.

What does Eid al-Fitr mean?

While the literal translation is “the feast of breaking the fast,” the deeper meaning of Eid revolves around renewal.

  1. Many view the day as an opportunity to start fresh. It is a traditional time for reconciling differences, forgiving past grievances, and strengthening bonds with family and neighbours.

  2. After experiencing the hunger and thirst of a fast, the “Fitr” (breaking of the fast) takes on a profound meaning. It is a moment to appreciate the necessities of life (food, water, and health) that are often taken for granted.

  3. Beyond the religious context, it is a day defined by hospitality. Homes are opened, special sweets are shared, and children often receive gifts or Eid (money), creating a sense of wonder and belonging that lasts a lifetime. 

Common traditions around the world

While customs vary by region, a few hallmarks remain constant:

  • Wearing new or best-quality clothes to honour the occasion.

  • In many cultures, the holiday is nicknamed the “Sweet Eid” due to the variety of desserts, like sheer khurma or baklava, served to guests.

  • The universal phrase used to wish others well is “Eid Mubarak,” which translates to “Have a blessed Eid.”

In essence, Eid al-Fitr is a beautiful reminder that discipline leads to joy, and that the greatest celebrations are those shared with others.

For more, click HERE to join our WhatsApp channel!

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Living with Parents vs Moving Out Featuring Hoch Muhoro

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Modern times have pushed the narrative of moving out at 20 or 21, and it has largely been embraced. While the parents’ home is seen as a free place you pay for with your mental health, it is a strategic base for many and a point of debate for others.

Let’s explore both sides of this dilemma, using the case of Kenyan creator Hoch Muhoro to anchor the conversation.

Is moving out a strategic sanctuary or stunted growth?

For decades, the metric of success for a young African adult was defined by finishing school, getting a job, and getting your own roof. To stay a day longer was to invite whispers of a failure narrative. However, as the cost of living in cities like Nairobi skyrockets and the digital economy changes how we work, the rules of independence are being rewritten.

Hoch Muhoro redefining narratives

The conversation recently reached a fever pitch following the story of Hoch Muhoro, a  Kenyan digital creator who lives with his mother. To traditionalists, his situation is an anomaly, perhaps even a failure. But to a growing number of digital nomads and strategic savers, Hoch represents a bold counter-narrative.

Hoch argues that his choice isn’t about an inability to provide but about companionship, care, and the rejection of societal timelines that don’t serve the individual. His relationship with his mother, documented with transparency, highlights a shift from dependence to intentional cohabitation.

The argument for moving out

Proponents of moving out early argue that the cold world is the only place where true character is built. There is a unique psychological drive that comes from knowing your next meal depends entirely on your hustle. This survival mode often sparks the creativity and resilience needed to excel in competitive industries.

Living alone offers the freedom to fail, to host, and to explore one’s identity without the background noise of parental expectations or curfews. In many circles, including the dating market, living at home carries a stigma of immaturity that can be hard to shake, regardless of your bank balance.

The argument for staying home

On the flip side, the Hoch Muhoro approach offers benefits that the struggle-to-pay-rent lifestyle cannot match. By eliminating rent, individuals can funnel that capital into investments, equipment for digital creation, or emergency funds.

The isolation of life alone can be brutal. Multigenerational living provides a support system that wards off the loneliness often associated with early adulthood. Living at home also allows adult children to support ageing parents, creating a symbiotic relationship rather than a parasitic one.

Context is necessary

Is it better to move out? The answer is not a yes or no, but a when and why. If staying at home makes you lazy, complacent, and fearful, it is a cage. But if, like Hoch Muhoro, it provides the peace of mind to create and the opportunity to cherish family bonds, then it is a strategic advantage.

Independence isn’t just about having your name on a lease; it’s about the ability to make decisions that best serve your future self. Maybe the most adult thing you can do is ignore the neighbours and stay where you are supported.

For more, click HERE to join our WhatsApp channel!

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