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Rachel Shebesh: Becoming a mental health advocate

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3 years ago

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When it comes to issues surrounding mental health, Hon. Rachel Shebesh knows exactly where the shoe pinches most having lived with bipolar disorder for most of her life. WATURI NGUYO had a chat with her on journey with mental illness both as a survivor and mental health awareness champion.

You have been vocal about mental health awareness, where did this Journey start?

My journey with mental health awareness started almost 35 years ago, and it was noticed by my husband. I had never known that there was something known as bipolar. What I knew, and everybody knew about me is that I was very babbly one minute and sad the next. My husband saw it as an issue when it started to affect relationships with people. He could see people wondering what was going on and be once told me. I think you’re bipolar. So, I like to emphasize, that I probably am lucky that my journey of self-awareness on mental illness started from a point of love because it came from my husband.

I’ve been on medication for long and I have been stabilized for a very long time. But even with medication, there is an issue of the psychological well-being in your state. My psychiatrist told me that I needed to deal with the issues that were predisposing me, So, he made me aware that mental illness is also genetically predisposed. And therefore, I went back to my conversation with my family. Our family is probably, one of the most open families on mental illness because we did realize that truly it’s genetic in my maternal side of the family. And since then, we’ve been able to identify those around us who have the same issues.

I always talk about my elder sister Betty who is my life coach. She discovered her issues early but jelled when we started this journey of being committed to surviving this mental illness. So, the issue of psychotherapy became very critical.

I resisted psychotherapy for a very long time because I felt like the medication was handling my mood swings. My real turning point was when I went into depression for over a year. It is an experience, I would not wish even on my worst enemy. It opened up my eyes to the need for psychotherapy, and dealing with issues. In mental illness we talk about triggers, the things that make your mental illness flair. I have so, many triggers and if I did not go through psychotherapy, I would not even have realised that fear is a trigger for me. I needed to be taken through overcoming that tngger because, if you don’t learn to deal with your psychological issues, you may be on medication for life, you may manage yourself for life, but you will not live a full life. I believe that I’m at the point where I’m living my life fully through medication, psychotherapy and self-awareness.

 

Why was it important to talk about. your journey openly despite the stigma surrounding mental illness?

One day in an address to the nation, the President acknowledged that mental illness was a big problem and the rates of suicide had reached crisis levels in the country. and he wanted a conversation around it. I made my decision there and then. I thought if the President can call it out, what about me? Somebody who works for him, who knows the biggest issue is around stigma and people being embarrassed to talk about it I said it’s about time. The other thing that inspired me to pursue mental health is young people. I have been directly affected by that issue of suicide around myself, my family, my friends, my children’s friends. et cetera and I thought it’s not just for me to remain silent. So, I may have been propelled by what the President said but I guess I was always ready to talk about it, which is why I started a YouTube channel

Of course, after my YouTube channel, if I was not mentally prepared, I may not have survived the comments. And you know in politics the immediate comment is that she’s a mad woman. But I was ready for it and a majority are not. Those who have mental illness and have survived, who might not be championing it right now, I do understand maybe they’ve not reached the level where I have because I have been through a long journey. But I still call upon anybody who can champion de stigmatization when dealing with mental illness,whether you are a survivor like myself, or you just want to champion it because you have encountered it through your family or friend, to do so.

 

 

How much progress has been made between now and when you received your diagnosis?

When I was first diagnosed and then I had to be hospitalized, I was a Member of Parliament. Do you know that the cover of the Members of Parliament, which is huge. probably the biggest in the country, had no cover for mental illness? So, when my doctor was to be paid, they did not know how to pay him. So, I had to walk into the office of the speaker at that time andtell him that my doctor was a psychiatrist. he’d not being paid. Then I asked him why that was the case? From there it became a conversation. That is how bad it was Moving on. NHIF was not covering mental illness. Because of being in government and having close relationships with my colleagues, we moved that conversation to NHIF.

County hospitals did not have a department for mental illness. Today, all 47 county referral hospitals have been allocated a psychiatrist. Then in parliament, through Senator Kasanga, though she’s not a survivor, the mental health bill was passed by parliament. She fought for it and brought MP’s on board and I will never thank her enough because the only way you can make an issue important is through legislation. We have deliberately engaged in changing the face of Mathare hospital to the point where they are thinking we changed the system; we’ve changed the way it is. But the name may still cause stigma. So, there is a conversation about changing the name, hot I can tell you that even as an institution, they have really progressed in every aspect. It is no longer a cage where you take your patient to be caged like an animal.

However, the elephant in the room is the cost of medication. Psychotropic medication is extremely expensive. The medicines that you take to balance the chemicals in your brain are really expensive and yet depending on how your mental illness has progressed, you need them.

Having been on this journey, you understand yourself better now. How are you taking care of yourself?

I have learned to be selfish because I was always a very giving person. I still am, but I over gave. One of the reasons for my bipolar is I always felt in my life. especially growing up, that as much as I gave, you needed to return to me. It killed me that nobody used to acknowledge me. The fact that I was able to dead with that is self-growth.

How I take care of myself is that I remind myself every time that the way I was made by God is perfect in his eyes and so I said if I’m perfect in God’s eyes, how do I make God proud of this perfect being? And I realized that first I was not giving God. enough time. So, I give God time on my own. Probably not in the conventional ways

Also, people think I am an extrovert but I am actually an introvert. I am comfortable in my silence and my space. Since I started my growth, I take so much time alone. Those around me know because they have been part of my journey. I am the kind of person who can be at a function that ends very well but I will immediately get into my car and leave when everybody else is going to celebrate.

I celebrate my successes with my God. I pat myself on the back, I don’t wait for people to pat my back anymore. I waited. for it so long, but it was eating away at me. So, how you take care of yourself is first through self-awareness, I can never emphasize more about self-awareness, and this is not only for people going through mental illness. Self-awareness, whichever way you do it, is the best gift you can give yourself.

How can the rest of society join in this conversation?

What can I say to other people who may not be in our journey…to understand our journey, love us, and realise that mental illness is a disease like any other. Someone with a mental illness, as mean as they sound at times, just cannot control it the way you cannot control diabetes or hypertension.

Every time I have an episode when I go back, I wonder, God why? I didn’t mean it: I didn’t want to do that but I did it and it hurt people. So, I wish Kenyans would just understand that this is a real issue and the person you see or recognize around it should not be the person you point at and all of you gang up against.

It is also not about witchcraft. It is a simple chemical imbalance in your brain that is the same chemical imbalance that causes all diseases, including cancer. Would you disown your child, your wife, your mother, or your father because they had cancer? Then don’t disown somebody who has a mental illness. That is my plea.

To those who are like me on this journey. we are together and it’s okay not to be okay. But you must seek out help. Be selfish for yourself. You may think it may be stupid to look out for help, but imagine there is somebody you will approach that will be the game-changer for you.

It can be a best friend, a teacher, a coworker, a pastor or even a stranger. The biggest disservice, a person with mental illness can do for themselves is not to be selfish enough to want to get well.

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Cover Story

Growing up while caring for aging parents

Published

2 months ago

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February 4, 2026

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You’re in your twenties or early thirties, still renting a bedsitter or sharing a one bedroom with a roommate. You juggle two side hustles and a job that barely covers rent and data bundles. Your salary comes in and half vanishes on fare, food and airtime top-ups before the month even starts.

Then your phone rings.

It’s Mum. Her voice is softer than usual.
“The knee is paining again. The doctor said I need new medicine but the bill…”
She trails off because she doesn’t want to finish the sentence. You already know what comes next.

Or its Dad, the man who once sent you pocket money while you were in campus, now asking quietly if you can send something small for electricity tokens because the prepaid meter is blinking red again.

Your chest tightens. Not just because of the money (though that’s part of it) .But because suddenly you hear the clock ticking louder.

They’re getting older. The strong hands that carried you. The back that bent over charcoal stoves to cook for you. The feet that walked kilometres to pay your school fees. Those hands shake now. That back is curved. Those feet tire faster.

You’re supposed to be the one helping now. That’s how it’s meant to go in our families. You finish school, get a job and start sending money home. You lift them the way they lifted you.

But what if you’re still drowning? What if getting it together feels like a finish line that keeps moving further away every year?

The fear is heavy.

You lie awake calculating. Rent is due. An M-Shwari or Fuliza loan repayment is pending. Your own medical cover lapsed last month. And now Mama needs money for a specialist visit. You send what you can. Perherps two thousand shillings and feel like a failure for the rest of the week.

Every time they say, “Pole, it’s okay. God will provide,” it stings more than if they had scolded you.

You start avoiding calls sometimes. Not because you don’t love them, but because picking up means hearing the tiredness in their voice and knowing you can’t fix it yet. You scroll job sites at two in the morning, apply to everything and pray for one breakthrough that will let you breathe and send real help home.

But the breakthrough is slow in coming. Meanwhile, arthritis is winning, blood pressure is rising and the village clinic queue is getting longer.

The fear

There’s the fear that they’ll suffer in silence because they don’t want to burden you. . The fear that you’ll never give them the easy life they sacrificed for.

And the deepest fear of all; that they’ll leave this world thinking they failed you, when really you feel like the one who failed them.

Even in the middle of that panic, there are small truths worth holding onto.

What keeps you going

Your parents didn’t raise you to be perfect. They raised you to try. They know you’re hustling. They see the late nights, the side gigs, the way you stretch every shilling. When you send one thousand instead of ten thousand, they don’t see failure. They see effort.

You are not late. You are in process. The economy is brutal, opportunities are few and the cost of living keeps rising but that doesn’t mean your love is small. Love shows up in the five hundred shillings of airtime or M-pesa you top up and in the weekends you go home empty handed but stay the whole day washing clothes, cooking and sitting with them.

One day, maybe sooner than you think, the season will shift. You’ll land the better job, clear the debts and start sending consistent help. You’ll take them to that private hospital, buy the good medicine and fix the leaking roof.

But even before that day arrives, you are already honouring them by refusing to give up.

Your parents didn’t keep score when they were raising you.
They won’t start now.

Keep going.
They’re still proud.
You’re still becoming even if it’s taking longer than either of you hoped.

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Cover Story

The version of you that only exists at home

Published

2 months ago

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February 3, 2026

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“I am an adult everywhere, except at home.” If that line hits with a mix of recognition and quiet discomfort, you’re not alone.

You step through the door of your childhood house or the family home you still visit. The capable adult you have become starts to fade almost instantly. Your shoulders drop. Your voice softens. You apologise before anything goes wrong. Suddenly you feel twelve again. You scan for approval. You brace for the familiar scorecard that lives only in this kitchen.

Why this happens

This is not pretending. It is regression wired deep. Family homes are the original emotional operating system. No matter how far you have come with therapy, career wins or independence, certain smells, sounds or sighs trigger version one of you. Old scripts replay automatically. You hunch at a particular sigh. You rush to prove yourself. You laugh too sharply at an old nickname.

The patterns formed when your nervous system was still developing. In homes with inconsistent love, high criticism, unspoken rules about emotions or where you adapted early to stay safe or seen, those survival strategies became muscle memory. Love felt conditional. Mistakes brought shame. You learned to read moods and shrink yourself. When the original cues return, the body remembers before the mind does.

The family’s role

Often the family has not updated their view of you either. They still see the child who spilled juice or the teenager who slammed doors. Two outdated versions try to connect. Instead of ease you get glitches. You feel too much and not enough at once.

Finding your way forward

Awareness is the turning point. Naming it steals half its power. You can observe the old role without fully stepping in. You can choose new responses. Even if they start silently, you can think, “I am not that twelve year old anymore.”

Some people carry the home version forever. That is okay if it does not cost their peace. Others learn to visit as adults. They love. They help. They do not hand over their selfworth.

The most healing path happens when the family updates together. A parent says, “You have become extraordinary,” and means it. A sibling drops childhood jabs. The house stops feeling like a courtroom.

Until then, know this. Shrinking a little when you walk in does not mean you are broken. It means you are human. You are wired for belonging even when belonging stings.Next time the throat tightens, breathe. Look around. Whisper to yourself, “I am an adult everywhere. Including here.” .

Watch how slowly and stubbornly the younger ghost steps back.

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Mental Health

Why Celebrating Small Wins is Better for Your Child’s Mental Health

Published

3 months ago

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January 21, 2026

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Children don’t progress in large or uniform strides; they move in small, jagged intervals. Those moments mean a lot to their development and growth.

When parents acknowledge the little successes, children feel valued, which in turn supports their emotional well-being and contributes to enhancing their confidence over time.

Successes, however small, create confidence

Making their bed on a rough morning, having another try after a mistake might be a small thing, but they represent big wins for your child. They don’t have to be perfect to succeed when their effort is noted and appreciated. Their confidence grows from trying and being their true self, not just from achieving the desired results.

Reduced pressure leads to reduced anxiety

When we emphasise big wins, children can feel afraid of failure and give up. Observing their victories, however small, sends a different message; mistakes are part of the learning process.

This evens out your pressure and helps you calm down. You notice this same idea in your children’s books: try new things, make mistakes and just keep on going.

Progress doesn’t always follow a straight path

Children show progress, withdraw, and move sideways, sometimes all in the same week. A child can have a happy school day one day, the next day be sad or angry, and not want to wear their school uniform.

When parents recognise something good even on a rough day, it helps them to know that one bad moment doesn’t make all the other good moments go away. That perspective can support a healthier mindset.

Recognising skills allows emotions to grow

If a child pauses to react, names a feeling, or asks for help, they are learning. Acknowledging these moments helps cope healthily. With time, children learn how to regulate their emotions and manage them effectively.

Some children find small successes important

For children with anxiety, neurodivergent or low self-esteem, progress can sometimes feel like a difficult task. Acknowledging any of their accomplishments can help them realise that every effort counts.

It can help their mental health for a long time at a later stage.

A small acknowledgement can have a big impact

Celebrating wins doesn’t have to involve a gift or a pat on the back.  At times, a smile, a word of reassurance or a moment of pride is enough. The critical thing is that the child feels truly seen.

Having fun together deepens connections and intensifies motivation.

When parents make small celebrations, children understand that growing up is more important than being perfect. They realise they are worthy of value for who they are becoming, rather than what they do.

Such an understanding builds emotional resilience that will remain throughout their entire life.

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