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What to do to understand your child better  

Awareness of how children grow and develop is essential for parents to be empowered to understand their children better.

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Most parents will tell you that a parenting manual does not exist, especially because every child is different. As a result, the onus is on the parent to try and understand their child. Unfortunately, this is not nearly as easy as it sounds. Luckily though, here is a chit sheet to put you on the right path with your child.

Why understand your Child

Parents may have pre-conceived ideas that children are not intelligent. On the contrary, however, most children are very sharp and can retain and analyze information very efficiently- sometimes even better than adults. To encourage their development, it’s imperative to provide a rich environment and interact with them constantly, keeping track of what they hear or see. The following are some of the tips you can use to understand your child better:

Observe what the child is doing

Through observation, you will get to know a lot about your child’s overall personality. Give the child space and freedom to do things and allow them to say whatever they want as you observe. Also create an environment where the child can express themselves right from infancy as you take note of their behaviour. This way, you understand how to guide and support them.

Pay attention and Listen

If you pay attention to your child and actively listen to them, they feel encouraged. One way to do this is to look at them directly into their eyes and maintain eye contact. This communicates to them that you are listening and that what they are saying is of utmost importance. Moreover, talk and initiate conversations about things that are of interest to help them open up and improve imagination, creative skills, social and cognitive abilities. By listening, you will know your child, strengthen your bond and make them feel that you are interested in their life.

Befriend them and spend quality time together

Establishing a healthy relationship early and making your child realize your availability, is the first step towards becoming your child’s best friend. Do activities together such as playing games and cleaning up rooms. Spend as much time together as you can to encourage the formation of attachment and bonding. While at it, allow the child to express themselves to get a glimpse of how they think. Do not forget to answer their questions as this fixes the information gap and contributes to a cognitive framework that forms trust during adolescence and beyond.

RELATED: Raising the strong-willed teen

Give Praise and show empathy

Praise and reward children for good behaviour as this boosts self esteem. Show empathy and teach them to be empathetic with others. However, be careful not to overpraise the child as this can praising can make a child arrogant and dependent. Practicing empathy in the family creates an emotional connection which creates a foundation for the child to open up to you.

Use the child’s perspective

Thinking from a child’s perspective helps you better understand them. Allow their imagination to take wings as you walk and interact. Let them express what they see and think. Avoid interrupting their train of thought so that you get more insight into their inner world. Using children’s eyes helps to build a sense of familiarity and confidence. Promoting confidence and self-esteem at an early age is important as it helps the child cope with mistakes made. Also, self-esteem helps the child to stand up themselves.

Be alert when dealing with negative behaviour

Frustrated children may have sudden flashes of anger and emotional outbursts. As a parent, you should stay calm. Avoid yelling back or giving in. Instead, use constructive ways in handling situations and teach the child about the consequences of negative behaviour. Sometimes the child may talk about their fears, try to encourage them and do not ridicule him. Understand that it is not easy to open up and must have taken a lot of courage to do so.

Find out reasons behind behaviour

Finding out reasons behind the negative behavior, may help in knowing where you may have been going wrong and have a chance to enhance parenting skills. Children below six years, follow rules created or decisions made unlike older children. Explain to children always why certain rules and decisions were made. At that moment they may be angry with you, but with time, they will understand why decisions were made

Conclusion

To understand children’s minds, parents need to be aware of child growth and development. They need to monitor them closely, since they progress and behave differently. It is important to accept your child as they are with their likes, dislikes, and all other qualities as this gives them a sense of security.  Awareness of how children grow and develop is essential for parents to be empowered to understand their children better, through use of different ways and to provide rich experiences in early years to enhance children’s natural learning abilities to flourish and reach their full potentials.

The article was written by Dr. Catherine Gichuba, CEO and Lead Consultant at Regional Social Consultants Agency (RESCA)

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Cover Story

The joy of controlled freedom in parenting

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Parenting often revolves around setting boundaries and ensuring children follow rules. While discipline is essential, there is a hidden joy and power in saying “yes” to your child more often. Allowing controlled freedom can be a game-changer in fostering independence, confidence, and resilience in your child.

The Power of Yes

Saying “yes” doesn’t mean giving in to every whim or desire. Instead, it’s about choosing moments where your child can explore their world with freedom.

Whether it’s allowing them to choose their outfit for the day or letting them plan a family outing, these small moments of empowerment build self-esteem.

Building Confidence Through Freedom

Children thrive when they feel trusted. By saying “yes” to reasonable requests, you’re telling your child that you believe in their ability to make decisions.

This trust translates into confidence as they learn to navigate their choices, understanding the consequences and rewards that come with them.

Creating Safe Boundaries

While saying “yes” is powerful, it’s crucial to establish safe boundaries. These boundaries ensure that your child’s freedom doesn’t lead to harm.

For example, you might say, “Yes, you can play outside, but stay where I can see you.” This approach allows freedom within a safe framework, giving your child the space to grow while keeping them protected.

Encouraging Problem-Solving Skills

When you allow your child to make decisions, you’re also teaching them to solve problems. They learn to think critically about their choices, weighing options, and considering outcomes. This skill is invaluable, as it prepares them for real-world challenges.

The Lasting Impact

The simple act of saying “yes” more often can have a profound impact on your child’s development. It’s a way to show trust, build confidence, and encourage independence.

So next time your child asks for something, consider the power of “yes.” It might just be the best answer you give all day.

For more, click HERE to join our WhatsApp channel!

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Cover Story

The joy of controlled freedom in parenting

Published

on

Parenting often revolves around setting boundaries and ensuring children follow rules. While discipline is essential, there is a hidden joy and power in saying “yes” to your child more often. Allowing controlled freedom can be a game-changer in fostering independence, confidence, and resilience in your child.

The Power of Yes

Saying “yes” doesn’t mean giving in to every whim or desire. Instead, it’s about choosing moments where your child can explore their world with freedom.

Whether it’s allowing them to choose their outfit for the day or letting them plan a family outing, these small moments of empowerment build self-esteem.

Building Confidence Through Freedom

Children thrive when they feel trusted. By saying “yes” to reasonable requests, you’re telling your child that you believe in their ability to make decisions.

This trust translates into confidence as they learn to navigate their choices, understanding the consequences and rewards that come with them.

Creating Safe Boundaries

While saying “yes” is powerful, it’s crucial to establish safe boundaries. These boundaries ensure that your child’s freedom doesn’t lead to harm.

For example, you might say, “Yes, you can play outside, but stay where I can see you.” This approach allows freedom within a safe framework, giving your child the space to grow while keeping them protected.

Encouraging Problem-Solving Skills

When you allow your child to make decisions, you’re also teaching them to solve problems. They learn to think critically about their choices, weighing options, and considering outcomes. This skill is invaluable, as it prepares them for real-world challenges.

The Lasting Impact

The simple act of saying “yes” more often can have a profound impact on your child’s development. It’s a way to show trust, build confidence, and encourage independence.

So next time your child asks for something, consider the power of “yes.” It might just be the best answer you give all day.

For more, click HERE to join our WhatsApp channel!

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Lifestyle

Too Late for What? Finding Your Own Pace in a Fast-Paced World

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In today’s fast-paced world, success is no longer just an achievement; it has become a timeline. Many young people feel an invisible pressure to have their lives “figured out” before they turn 30, a stable job, financial independence, a clear career path, and in some cases, even marriage and children. But who set this deadline, and what happens to those who don’t meet it?

For many young adults, especially in urban settings, the pressure begins early. From school systems that prioritise academic excellence to families that celebrate early milestones, success is often framed as something that must be achieved quickly. Social media adds a layer of curated lifestyles of young entrepreneurs, influencers, and professionals who live what appears to be a perfect life. The comparison is constant and, for some, overwhelming.

Reality, however, is far less linear. Not everyone follows the same path. Some individuals take time to discover their passions, switch careers, or face setbacks that delay their progress. Yet, rather than being seen as part of growth, these delays are often viewed as failures. This perception can lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, and, in some cases, burnout as young people push themselves to meet expectations.

Parents play a significant role in shaping this narrative. While many have good intentions, wanting their children to succeed and be secure, the way success is communicated can sometimes add pressure. Saying things like “you need to be settled by now” or “your age mates are already ahead” can unintentionally create a sense of inadequacy. Instead of motivation, such statements may lead to fear-driven achievement.

Also Read: Parenting Progress for a Thoughtful Generation

It is also important to question what success truly means. For some, it is financial stability. For others, it may be personal fulfilment, career growth, or the ability to live independently. By narrowing success to a fixed timeline, society risks ignoring the diversity of individual journeys. A 28-year-old still exploring career options is not necessarily behind; they may be in a different phase of discovery.

Mental health is another critical factor often overlooked in this race. The pressure to be successful before 30 can lead to constant stress and comparison, making young people feel like they are always falling short. In extreme cases, this pressure can lead to depression or a sense of hopelessness, especially when achievements don’t come as quickly as expected.

So, what can parents and society do differently?

First, there is a need to define success beyond age. Success should be measured by growth, effort, and resilience, not just milestones achieved by a certain birthday. Encouragement should focus on progress rather than comparison. A child who is still figuring things out at 27 should be supported, not judged.

Second, open conversations are key. Parents should create safe spaces where children can talk about their struggles without fear of criticism. Understanding that life is not a straight path allows for more empathy and guidance rather than pressure.

Lastly, society must embrace the idea that everyone’s journey is different. Some people bloom early, others are late bloomers, and both are valid. Success is not a race with a fixed finish line, but a journey with many different routes.

Turning 30 should not feel like a deadline for achievement, but rather a checkpoint, a moment to reflect, grow, and continue building a meaningful life, not rushed.

Also Read: Raising children to be successful adults

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