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Find your ‘me time’ in solitude

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Like me, you may discover that some of the things and the people who are stopping you from finding time for yourself are not even worth having or pursuing…

few Fridays ago I told my wife that I wanted to have a day by myself. We agreed that the following Saturday would be fine since she planned to spend it at the salon with our daughters. I decided to go to Resurrection Gardens in Karen and packed my Life Planner – a book in which I write all my thoughts, plans and goals. Recently I wrote a personal five-year strategic plan.

I also took with me the Bible and a motivational book. Although I had decided it would be a no phone-day, I took my phone with me since I have downloaded a few motivational talks that I planned to listen to as I drove to the venue. I later switched off the phone and did not speak to anyone for the rest of the day – truly refreshing. And it helped that at the Resurrection Gardens there are tens of inscriptions warning you to observe total silence.

First things first, what had driven me to want a day by myself – even away from my wife and kids? Well, I had reached a point in life where I felt I was not at my best. I was just living but not thriving. My universe and dreams were shrinking instead of expanding and to a point where I was losing focus on the purpose of my life. Even my faith had begun to get affected. Then I remembered the words of the blind visionary Helen Keller who once said, “What I’m looking for is not out there but within me.” I knew the only person who could get me out of this situation was me. I needed a dialogue with myself.

So, my day alone consisted of reading the Bible and a motivational book and reflection. What resulted from just that one day of time away from the world was nothing short of epic. In my quiet time, I ran through my past, my childhood aspirations and adulthood dreams. It also occurred to me why I had seemed to lose focus in the last few months and why I was drifting away from my purpose. When I sat under a tree thinking about just me, I felt my batteries recharge and energy flowing all over me. By evening, I had written down all the bad habits I had formed and relationships that were dragging me away from my purpose. I also made a few resolutions that since then have set me so free I feel like I can fly. Behold I am a new creature.

And it is true what the Bible says: “Be still and know that I am God.” For during my time in solitude, I felt God talking to me and encouraging me to rise and walk. His presence was all over me again and I asked Him to take away my sins – of omission and commission. I recognised God as the source of my good longings and of my purpose and recommitted to Him again. I had been set free. It has been a few weeks since that wonderful experience and I must tell you that it was worth every second.

This month I beseech you to find time to be alone. Stop and ask yourself whether the road you are travelling in is the right one and even if it is, whether you are travelling in the right direction. Do not say you have no time. Do you know that a week has 168 hours? What do you do with all of them? You see, saying that you cannot find time to reflect upon your life is like failing to refuel your car because you are too busy driving. At some point the engine will stop and it might be very far away from a fuel station. Find time now.

Like me, you may discover that some of the things and the people who are stopping you from finding time for yourself are not even worth having or pursuing. One of the resolutions I made was to break relationships that I realised during my reflection were not adding value to my life and were dragging me off my focus. I am a better person without them. They are not bad people; no, it’s only that our paths are different.

Find time to let God reveal Himself to you. I discovered that Saturday, that the noise we live in – the Television, loud meaningless music, friendly chatter and so on – often times out-shout God’s voice. In matatus we listen to useless talk shows and very loud music; in the office we gossip about colleagues, spouses, and friends and also complain about our pay. On our way back home we put on our phone radio or iPod just to get home in time for the telenovelas. And the cycle is repeated for five days a week.

When will we ever allow God to talk to us – to whisper His warnings or blessings and to guide us? Live an examined life in God and you will have lived the rest of your days with great satisfaction.

After my day of solitude, I wrote in my Life Planner (you need one) “Today is the first day of the rest of my life.” Take the challenge my friend and spend a day away from the world – you will thank me for it. 

By Christopher Maina

Published in November 2014

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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