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Resolve to take charge of your finances this year…JANUARY: GET OVER YOUR PAST

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Money in itself is neither good nor bad. If it is managed with wisdom and care, it can bring much good into our lives. This year we want to help you get financially organised by bringing clarity, simplicity and order to your finances. Through this column, we will help you feel secure for the future, no matter what life throws at you. Don’t miss the useful tips we shall be giving you each month starting now.

Make 2015 about reorganising the details of your financial life. Shelve those dramas of past years, when each month grips you with money panic – “Do I have enough money in the account to pay bills?” “Have I overstepped my budget?” “Will the landlord throw me out?” If you have gone through life without knowing how much you are really worth or what is going in your financial life, this is the year to change all that.

But where do you start? By understanding your past experiences with money and how they affect you now and taking remedial action where necessary. One thing you should bear in mind at all times is that money is nothing more than a tool. Just like a hammer, it can help you build your home but if you drop it on your toe you will experience pain. The power lies not in the hammer but with you and the decisions you make about how to use it.

In the same way, money can help you keep a roof over your head, educate your children, buy property, take holidays and have health insurance for your family. A lack of financial plan, or an obsession with it, can turn an otherwise good life into one of constant struggle and sweat. But adjusting your priorities will help you do just fine with the money you have, as you build a strong financial cover for you and your family.

The other thing you should bear in mind is that the winds of economic change affect each of us in unique ways. You could lose your job or your home, or be faced with an illness in the family that depletes all your savings. There is an old saying that goes: It isn’t what happens to you in life that matters. It is how you handle it. If your financial world is spinning out of control, you might make the unconscious decision to ignore the situation and yourself. Suddenly you are not eating well and are not getting enough sleep and don’t have the energy to take necessary action. Stress may tempt you to live solely in your head where worry festers. This is what you certainly need to change this year as you become more in control of your financial life.

Examining your past…

Let’s get to the nitty-gritty of helping you get organised. First you need to examine your relationship with money. You cannot set financial goals before you examine the past for clues to your current economic situation and also move beyond the past to a successful financial future.

Understanding the reality of your past relationship with money can help you move on and create something better. Knowledge is really power; especially where money is  concerned. But also remember change is never easy and you will need an equal measure of commitment and courage to weather the storm that change inevitably creates, as you move from the past to the present and future.

The exercise below will help you get to the point we want you to be as you begin the year with an objective of taking control of your finances. Write out the answers down as they will become helpful as we move on into the year.

How are your finances right now?

What are your three biggest challenges in terms of finances?

What are your top three goals for the year?

What are your top three financial strengths?

Your past is important as it will help you see the future with clarity…

How did you learn about money? Was it through formal lessons with one of your parents or from their offhand comments? Or did a family member, friend or teacher act as your mentor?

Was this training adequate? Do you think it serves you to this day, and if so, how?

If you now regard these lessons woefully inadequate, when did you first wake up to this reality?

Was your home life stable in terms of money? Did both your parents make money? Do you remember a feeling of financial insecurity?

Can you remember your parents having money or arguments about it? Did they have similar values when it came to finances? Who do you take after in terms of how you relate to money?

What would you say are your major issues with money today? Did the same problems crop up while you were growing up?

Did you get an allowance or pocket money? Were you required to do chores to earn this money or did it come with no strings attached? Was the amount adequate?

Were your friends in basically the same economic boat as you were? Or do you remember feeling privileged or living is a state of lack in comparison?

Do you feel that anyone has ever used money to control you? Who? In what way?

How did your childhood experiences make you feel about money? Were you eager to earn your own? Did you resent money?

Finally, who taught you to save on a regular basis?

And now to moving forward…

The above questions are about understanding how you were first taught about money. Many of you reading this piece are decades past your childhood. You now need to focus on a few more questions to understand the evolving nature of your relationship with money. These additional questions bring you forward in time and allow you to see how you have managed on your own and where you may need to make adjustments .

When you first left home to live on your own, did you know how to manage your money? Were your bills paid on time?

If you are married or living with someone, who is in charge of the finances? Does this arrangement suit you? If you have relinquished financial management to your partner or spouse, would you be able to take control if it became necessary?

Are you a dreamer who trusts the future will take care of itself, or are you a planner who manages every detail of your financial life?

What’s your biggest financial regret?

No doubt after this exercise you have more insight into the reality that brought you to your current financial situation. We all come from our past with things we are grateful for and things that make us shake our head in wonder. Whatever the situation, there is no blame to be laid at the feet of anyone – especially yourself. It is now time to move on as you are no longer driven by elements from the past: unconscious forces, wounds, or inadequate instruction. You now have to take financial control into your own hands. Making and managing money is incredibly empowering and you will discover this in the coming months.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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