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INVIOLATA MMBWAVI REFLECTS ON HER 23 YEARS LIVING WITH HIV

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Inviolata Mwali Mmbwavi has been living with HIV for the last 23 years. Hers is a story of resilience as she battled the stigma that comes with the disease to soldier on. Inviolata narrates to HENRY KAHARA what it’s really like to live with HIV.

Dear good people, as a two times aspirant, my personal life and HIV/AIDS activism (my history) is becoming very difficult to be delinked from me this campaign season…”

Above is a post Inviolata Mwali Mmbwavi put on her Facebook page four years ago when she unsuccessfully vied for the Lurambi parliamentary seat. According to Inviolata, the people concentrated on money and her HIV status instead of the vision she had for them. The two saw her lose the seat she was so determined to clinch with an aim of helping them.

I first meet Inviolata in her office along Ngong Road where she works as a coordinator with the International Community of Women Living with HIV/AIDS, Kenyan Chapter (ICWK).

Inviolata is smart, energetic and jovial. She has been living with HIV for 23 years but it is very difficult to tell.

A bad dream

Her journey with the virus started in 1993, just after finishing her Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education (KCSE). She was lost in the world of freedom and she enjoyed life with abandon.

Her amusement was however short-lived for she fell pregnant. It would be during one of the antenatal visits that she came to learn of her HIV status. “I was shocked when the test came out positive.

I didn’t believe it and this prompted me to do another test, which confirmed that indeed I was HIV positive. I wished it was a bad dream from which I would eventually wake up; but no, I was positive,” she says.

During that time, stigma with regard to HIV/ AIDS was very high in the society and this made Inviolata keep the news to herself.

“In early 90’s, people were yet to fully understand what the virus was all about. There were terrible myths being peddled around and thus the stigma was high. Many people died from the repercussions of the stigma as they would withdraw from society and not take good care of themselves. In addition, antiretroviral drugs were not readily available and accessible in Kenya. It was chaotic to say the least,” recalls Inviolata.

Her new status aside, she had another problem to deal with, which she could not hide from the society.

The pregnancy. Again, this was a time when getting a child out of wedlock and furthermore while living with one’s parent was frowned upon. She risked being sidelined and being branded as a person with loose morals: but these were the least of her concerns.

“I clearly understood the repercussions of getting pregnant out of wedlock. But my biggest worry was how people would react if they came to know about my HIV status,” she explains.

Inviolata sought refuge at an aunt’s home in Nairobi, far away from her neighbours’ prying eyes. Her aunt had had a child out of wedlock and she therefore understood Inviolata’s predicament.

“I delivered safely and thereafter went back to my aunt’s house to recuperate and take care of my baby. Unfortunately, I fell ill. It was then that relatives suspected I was HIV positive. They informed my parents. My parents asked me to go home and within no time word went round the village that I was HIV positive,” she narrates.

Her family stood by her and took care of her. Her health improved drastically after several hospital visits. But she faced another challenge – finances.

“My father was polygamous and he had abandoned my mum who was his first wife. The burden was too heavy for my mum and I had no option but to seek employment so as to help her. I left my daughter under her care and relocated to Nairobi in search of green pastures,” expounds the third born in a family of 10 children.

The first thing Inviolata did when she arrived in Nairobi was to look for a way to manage her condition. She found an organisation that dealt with individuals living with the virus and it is here that she was connected to the Kenya Medical Research Institute (KEMRI) where she went for checkups on a regular basis and treatment whenever she felt unwell, which was free of charge. Inviolata notes that stigma was lower in Nairobi compared to upcountry.

“I was among a group of individuals living with the virus being used as specimen for research and that’s how I survived, as we got access to medicine” she says.

Showers of blessings

In 1998, Inviolata secured a job as a receptionist with the Association of People Living with HIV/AIDS. Here, she would get a lot of resource materials that touched on issues surrounding the disease.

She was particularly fond of a pull out – Straight Talk – in one of the dailies. The pull out, which was a product of a non-governmental organisation, carried stories of young people struggling with Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) and unplanned pregnancies.

“I one day decided to write about my story and sent the letter to the magazine’s editor. Thereafter, they came looking for me with an offer to be trained as a peer counsellor. Lady luck seemed to be smiling upon me for I also got a scholarship from the Kenya Association of Professional Counsellors (KAPC) for a diploma in counselling,” recalls Inviolata.

Inviolata had not yet come out in the open about her HIV status but in order to carry her mandate as a peer counsellor efficiently, she had to come clean. Doing so also gave her peace of mind and moral authority to speak about HIV.

“I was the only person who was positive among my colleagues at KAPC but they didn’t treat me differently after they came to learn of my status. I wish the world treated those living with the virus the same way because there is still stigma in the society,” she notes.

It is said when it rains it pours: that same year, Inviolata was selected as a beneficiary of an exchange programme that took her to the United States of America. After the visit to USA, she worked with different NGOs and the government sensitising people on HIV.

Her activism saw her sharing her story before parliamentarians in 1999 in Mombasa where HIV/AIDS was declared a National Disaster. Her act of coming out was groundbreaking and it began to turn the tide against HIV stigma in the country.

Her national campaign on sensitising the public about HIV and AIDS exposed Inviolata to the political world. She was drawn into the political circles, which made her dive head on into politics.

In 2007, she unsuccessfully contested for the Embakasi parliamentary seat. Thereafter, she underwent a six-month leadership training in Canada so as to equip herself with leadership skills. In 2013, she unsuccessfully vied for the Lurambi parliamentary seat.

“I came to learn later that my status was one of the reasons why I failed to secure the seat as my opponents used it to fight me,” she says adding that Kenyan politics is gender and money oriented at the local level.

Failure to clinch the seat really affected her and she went into depression, which affected her health. In 2014, she was put under antiretroviral drugs to boost her health.

Her secret to living a positive life?

“I do a lot of self-care. I eat, dress and rest well. I don’t care what people say about me and the few friends I have are people who lift me up and inspire me,” says Inviolata.

She calls upon HIV/AIDS survivors to live responsibly since it is the only way to live long and enjoy life. Inviolata admits that HIV can be a setback as it stops a person from paying attention to important things in life to concentrate on their health. She encourages those infected not to let the virus hinder them from living life to the fullest.

On the strides the government has made in combating the virus she says, “The government is on the right path to fight HIV/ AIDS but much needs to be done. However, most of the HIV/AIDS funds come from donors. What will happen when the donors leave?”

So, what does she do during her spare time? “When I am at my rural home, I enjoy farming. I also like spending time with my daughter who graduated from the University last year,” she concludes.

December 2016

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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