Connect with us

Editorial

Of sexuality, spirituality and dressing

Published

on

I have keenly followed debate on chief justice nominee, Dr. Willy Mutunga’s studs. Granted it is not always that men wear jewelry, this is not to say there is anything wrong with it or is un-Christian. Remember the story of the prodigal son: Luke 15:22: But the father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.’ Religious leaders have raised their voice again, this time to condemn Dr. Mutunga’s nomination: “We warned you! That’s why we rejected the draft constitution. See who they are giving us now!” I guess they meant, a ‘non-Christian whose sexual orientation is denoted by his manner of dress.’ One politician is on record as saying the country needs prayers if the next chief justice will be turning to his studs to consult the spirits!

This debate brings two things into my mind. When, as a young primary school girl, I pierced my ears using the traditional method of needle and thread, I hoped my mother would not know but she did when the ears got infected. Not only was I forced to remove the thread, so the holes closed, I was also reprimanded with words that still ring in my ears: “How can you do things that are done by acenji (non-believers) when you are a Christian. If you continue to do those maundu ma ngoma (devilish things) you will have to cross the road to Gaitumbi (a village across the road) separated from the ‘holier than thou’ Christian Waiyaki family of which I belong.

Because of my childhood indoctrination, for the longest of time I thought God was happy with me as long as I went to Church every Sunday, dressed in a long skirt and didn’t braid my hair or wear earrings. This did little in personal inner self-growth, which of course is what God sees. 1 Peter 3: 3-4: “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

The other thing I am reminded of is a picture that hangs in my mother-in-law’s house of two young couples and their babies (read my in-laws, their best couple and my husband as one of the babies). This beautiful picture has these two tall handsome men in smart dark suits and polished shoes standing behind their wives who are holding babies on their laps. What you notice immediately are the bare feet of the women, with toes sticking out, as if deformed by many years of walking barefoot. When I asked my father-in-law why he could not buy his wife shoes, he told me women who wore shoes at the time were deemed as prostitutes!

That we are discussing Dr. Mutunga’s way of dress in the 21st century in a country that has passed a new constitution that guarantees individual freedoms, including freedom of dress, and judging him accordingly, says a lot about our fears and hypocrisy. We are behaving like the Pharisees rebuked by Jesus in Luke 11:39: “Now then, you Pharisees clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. You foolish people! Did not the one who made the outside make the inside also?”

You cannot judge a book by its cover. You need to open the pages to see what’s inside. Those judging Dr. Mutunga by his mode of dressing want us to believe he is a non-believer of questionable sexuality. I guess the same judgment would be passed on my daughter who wears tattoos on her body, and has a small gold nose stud, in addition to two (or is it three?) earrings on each ear. Or for that matter on me because I do not always conform when it comes to dressing.

Who are we to judge Dr. Mutunga? Does his way of dressing, or of any other person for that matter, give an informed platform to make a judgment on one’s sexuality or spirituality? Dr. Mutunga is on record as saying he does not wear his earrings as a symbol of his sexuality but his spirituality, which gave religious leaders a weapon to attack him, as obviously they equate spirituality with religion.

What is spirituality? Is it synonymous with religion? While many people get their spirituality from their religion, if you don’t have a conventional religious belief it does not mean you are not spiritual. Spirituality is based on the idea that something exists – be it a state of mind, a being or a place – that is outside the experience of our five limited senses. Spirituality is all about clarifying our connection to all things – understanding we are part of a whole. It is finding true joy and happiness with all around you and allowing the feeling of inner security, contentment and unconditional love to exist within you. Practicing spirituality does not have to mean going to a church, synagogue or mosque – it can be private and personal.

In Dr. Mutunga and Nancy Baraza we have two people with the right credentials including those of reform, scholarly contribution to the legal reform, integrity and moral aptitude. They have what it takes to lead Kenya’s judiciary to the next level, of course guided by the new constitution.

Let’s not judge them from their dressing or religious affiliation or lack of it. Let’s not judge them using their marital status as a yardstick. It is these two individuals who, after a rigorous public exercise, convinced the Judicial Service Commission (JSC) out of many candidates interviewed that were best suited for the job. I am glad JSC officials were not petty to deal with personal issues such as religion, dressing, sexuality or even marital status. If they were interviewing for a bishop or chief Kadhi, perhaps those would have been relevant.

Continue Reading
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

Continue Reading

Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

Published

on

There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

Continue Reading

Trending

Copyright © 2017 Zox News Theme. Theme by MVP Themes, powered by WordPress.