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Men too need to cultivate HAPPINESS

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Are you the kind of man who sits and waits for happiness to find you? Many men are guilty of this; more than women who have been brought up knowing they are in charge of their lives. Fairy tales depict happiness appearing into our lives in the form of magic but truth be told, it doesn’t. Happiness is not something that happens to you. It’s something you cultivate by yourself.

Scientists say that contrary to popular beliefs, money and wealth only account for 10 percent of one’s happiness. The immensity of what determines happiness is one’s personality and more importantly, one’s attitude, thoughts and behaviour. Therefore, you can learn how to be happy or at least happier than you are.

Many people think that happiness comes from being born with a golden spoon in their mouth or being beautiful or living a stress-free life. The truth is that people who have wealth, beauty or less stress are not happier on average than those who don’t enjoy those blessings. Instead, people who are happy seem to instinctively know that their happiness is the sum total of their life choices, and their lives are built on devoting time to family and friends, appreciating what they have, maintaining an optimistic outlook, feeling a sense of purpose and living in the moment.

Your choices, thoughts and actions can influence your level of happiness. It’s not as easy as switching on the lights, but you can turn up your happiness level. So, if you want to become a happy man, here’s how to get started on the path to creating a happier you.

VALUE RELATIONSHIPS…

Surround yourself with happy people. Surrounding yourself with people who are content boosts your own mood. Remember by being happy yourself, you give something back to those around you. Friends and family help you celebrate life’s successes and support you during difficult times. Although it’s easy to take friends and family for granted, these relationships need nurturing.

Be a person of kind words and actions and careful with criticism. Make it clear that you appreciate what other people do for you or even just that you’re glad they’re part of your life.

CULTIVATE CONTENTMENT…

Appreciation is more than saying thank you. It’s a sense of wonder, gratitude and, yes, thankfulness for life. It’s easy to go through life without recognising your good fortune. More often than not, it takes a serious illness or other tragic events to jolt people into appreciating the good things in their lives. Don’t wait for something like that to happen to you. Start being appreciative for the small things in your life.

Make practicing gratitude part of your life. Identify at least one thing every day that enriches your life. When you find yourself thinking an ungrateful thought, try substituting it with a grateful one. For instance, replace “my brother forgot today was my birthday” with “my brother has always been there for me during tough times.” Before you retire to bed, let gratitude be the last thought that sends you to a peaceful sleep and let it be your first thought when you wake up in the morning.

BE OPTIMISTIC…

Bad things happen and it would be far-fetched to think otherwise. However, you don’t have to let negative thoughts crowd your outlook of life. It will do you good therefore to develop the habit of seeing the positive side of things. If you’re not an optimistic person by nature, it may take time for you to change your pessimistic thinking. Start by recognising negative thoughts when you have them. Then take a step back and ask yourself: Is the situation really as bad as I think? Is there another way to look at the situation? And finally, what can I learn from this experience that I can use in the future?

FINDING PURPOSE IN LIFE…

Set goals. People who endeavor to meet a goal or fulfill a mission, be it putting up your house or finding your spirituality, are happier than those who don’t have such aspirations. Goals provide a sense of purpose, boost one’s self-esteem and bring people together. What matters most is whether the process of working towards your goal is meaningful to you and not so much what your goal is. Strive to align your daily activities with the long-term meaning and purpose of your life. Research studies suggest that relationships provide the strongest meaning and purpose to life. It is imperative therefore to cultivate meaningful relationships in your life.

If you’re not engaged in something you love, ask yourself these questions to discover how you can find your purpose:

What excites and energizes me?

What are my proudest achievements?

How do I want others to remember me?

If you wait for joy to come on the day when your life is less busy or less stressful, it may never happen. Instead, look for opportunities to savour the small pleasures of everyday life. Focus on the positives in the present moment, instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

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While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Elizabeth Nzisa: The Firstborn Who Became a Mother Overnight

Published

on

While most teenagers spend their days focused on school, friendships, and dreams for the future, Elizabeth Nzisa, fondly known as Shiku, was forced to grow up much faster than she ever imagined. At only 17 years old, she found herself taking on the role of a mother to her three younger siblings after her family was hit by tragedy not once, but twice.

Her story, shared in an emotional interview, is a powerful reflection of strength, sacrifice and the deep bond between siblings. Elizabeth recalls the moment her life changed completely. Her mother died while giving birth to their youngest sibling, a baby boy. In the middle of that painful loss, their father walked away from the family, leaving Elizabeth alone with a newborn and two other young children to care for.

Mama yetu alipass 2024, Feb. Alipass akipata haka katoto kadogo. Dad naye akatuacha akaenda

 

Becoming a Mother Too Soon

She explains that she had no choice but to step up and become the parent in the house. She raised her youngest brother from the day he was born, and to this day he calls her mum, not knowing she is actually his big sister. That detail alone shows how much responsibility she carried at such a young age. She became the provider, the protector, the caregiver, and the emotional support for her siblings while she was still trying to understand life herself. With little help from relatives, Elizabeth had to find ways to survive, balancing school when she could, doing small jobs and making sure her siblings were fed, safe and loved.

The journey was not easy. She faced financial struggles, emotional exhaustion, and the pressure of trying to stay strong even when she felt overwhelmed. There were moments when she doubted herself and wondered if she was doing enough. Still, her story is not about defeat. It is about endurance. Elizabeth talks about finding strength through faith, support from the people around her, and the determination to keep her family together no matter how hard things became.

Over the years, she made sure her siblings stayed in school, had food on the table, and grew up feeling loved despite everything they had lost. What could have been a completely broken home became a family held together by her sacrifice and commitment.

Many viewers reacted emotionally, saying the story moved them to tears. Some described firstborn daughters as second mothers, while others said her life shows the kind of courage people rarely see but should never forget.

 

Click here to read our March issue 2026

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Cover Story

Endometriosis and sex: How to make intimacy pain-free

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There is no doubt that endometriosis can affect a woman’s way of life. The condition slews a couple of conditions, painful sex being one of them. Penetration pulls and pushes any tissue growth behind the vagina and lower uterus.

Although symptoms may differ from woman to woman, here are some things you can do to lessen your pain and ensure you have some good time:

Take a dose of painkillers

Take an over the counter painkiller that sits well with your body before intercourse and incase pain persists, take another one as prescribed.

Track your cycle and try at certain times of the month

Most women with endometriosis experience excruciating pain during their period and ovulation. Keep track of your cycle so that you can know when you are ovulating. You can use apps like my calendar and flo period tracker to track your periods. This will help you know when best to engage in sexual intercourse.

READ ALSO: Crucial Facts About Endometriosis Everyone Should Know About

Use lube

Vaginal dryness is not something to be ashamed of and if you happen to have it, lube should be your best buddy. Make sure to use any silicon or water based lubricant anytime you feel like your vagina is dry. Ensure the application is of good amount to achieve a wet area.

Explore alternatives

Talk with your partner about things that turn you on and bring you pleasure. Just to mention a few; mutual masturbation, foreplay, kissing and mutual fondling. Sex does not have to mean intercourse.

Try different positions

Experimenting different positions can teach you and your partner which ones hurt and the ones that bring direct pleasure with no or less pain. Positions that are considered better vary from person to person so take the time to explore and learn yourself with your partner.

Find the right rhythm

Finding the right rhythm can help you experience less discomfort during sex. Quick thrusting or deep penetration can aggravate pain. Talk to your partner about that which you do not like and find ways that will satisfy the both of you like exchanging positions so that you can control the speed and rhythm.

Bottom line

Intimacy does not have to be boring, painful or make you hate the condition that you have. Talk openly about your feelings around sex and penetration and what would help to ease your concerns.

Our FREE  e-paper March Issue is here!
As we celebrate our women this month, we bring you the best stories and the most inspiring features to get you going.
Click HERE to read!

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